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Do men confuse being dominate in bed with being an aggressive thug?

To me a dominate lover is one with good stamina who takes control, thrusts with enthusiasm and drives you to orgasm. You feel he's in charge but not threatening. I think most women want a man who will make them feel desired in bed through their passionate sex.
However a lot of guys here seem to translate this into we want to be verbally abused and slapped around. That to be dominant they also have to be violent. I get it a small number of women into bdsm want to be physically abused but surely most of us don't. I want my pussy pounded not my face.
I can't help think a lot of girls are being put off trying sex when they hear that guys say they have to pull your hair hard and slap tits red raw to be good lovers.
Do men confuse being dominate in bed with being an aggressive thug?
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