Did my best friend catch feelings for me?

[Anonymous]

So I’m a girl, and my best friend is a girl. We are both bi and have hooked up 3 times platonically when drunk or tripping shrooms (2 times was in a group of girls, one time was just me and her). Last week I hooked up with a man. He was the first hook up with a non-friend I’ve had since my ex. After hooking up with that guy, I told her that I broke my celibacy streak by having sex with him. She is mad at me because I counted him as breaking my celibacy streak and not her. She said I am making our sex sound like it wasn’t legitimate. But I thought of her and I’s few hookups as completely platonic and as something we were just doing to experiment. The reason I counted this guy as “breaking my celibacy” is because he was the first person I’ve been with ~romantically~ since my ex. Does she like me? Am in the wrong? How should I analyze this?

[Anonymous]

1. :Our hookups were completely platonic." No, platonic friends don't just fuck each other.

2. "something we were just doing to experiment." An experiment is something that a scientist conducts in a lab to develop knowledge in a particular area. Fucking is not an experiement.

3. You fucked a guy. It was a hook up and now that qualifies as romance?

4. "Does she like me?" Probably not any more.

5. "Am in the wrong?" In SO many ways!

6. "How should I analyze this?" So far, everything you've said sounds really screwed up. You should stop analyzing.

[Anonymous]

One does not simply have sex with someone platonically. She may or may not be romantically interested in you, but she's definitely right about the double standard of calling sex with another girl celibacy.

[Asker]

I’ve grown up classifying penetration as sex because society is so hetero-centric and has conditioned me to think that way. I realize that sex with a girl IS sex, but the fact that we only engaged in kissing and oral sex while solely being best friends (who I thought had no intentions of dating) made me brush it off as not breaking my celibacy. This is because I was not penetrated and I thought it was two besties having fun w no intentions type thing

[Ogopogo]

So, since you now know that what you said was hurtful, and not even something you agree with, you should explain your mistake and make it clear that you view same-sex encounters as real sex and you especially value what you did with her. That is, if you want to keep her.

[asshole_]

Is she gay/bi?

Are you one of them

[Asker]

We are both bi.

[asshole_]

So, do you think you'll wind up marrying a woman or a man?

[Asker]

I can’t predict the future, but I would be completely open to either!

[asshole_]

So, if you marry the guy, you'll become straight If you marry her, you'll become gay You can't just be bi

[Asker]

I’m bi whether I’m with a girl or a guy! That doesn’t change my sexuality. Being bi means you’re attracted to both men and women. I can be with a guy or a girl, but regardless I’m still gonna feel attracted to both genders. Being with one doesn’t erase the attraction to the other.

[asshole_]

No Being with one, permanently, makes you that orientation The only way you could go back to being bi, is if you cheated and divorced

[Ogopogo]

Surprise surprise, it's that guy again - the one who can't stop thinking about bisexuality and keeps trying to make it go away. Can't get that taste out of your mouth even in your dreams, can you straight guy?

[asshole_]

What are you on about dude?

[Aquiline_feast]

No, friends are friends.

[primer678]

if he did you should fuck him