Is it primal, biological, or natural for men to sexually enjoy seeing women in pain, discomfort, submission?

Why do you think men foster or harbor this domineering, animalistic, and somewhat abusive response towards women when it comes to intimacy?

Why do men get turned on seeing women in vulnerable positions?
Tied up, pinned down, etc.


Other stuff to like:
-hair pulling
-seeing red marks on the woman’s body
-hearing audible signs she’s in some struggle/discomfort
-slapping her
-choking her

And more...

Is it the testosterone? Evolutionary?
Societal?
Perhaps both?

The dynamic or relationship is similar to PREDATOR:PREY

I suspect, the more estrogen a man has, the LESS he’ll be into the above and the more sensitive he’ll be towards women’s feelings, wishes, comfort, etc.

I also suspect many men who like the above will NOT admit this, perhaps even anonymously just because they perceive it to hold some stigma and they might actually be internally embarrassed with themselves that they gravitate towards this.
Updates:
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PREDATOR & PREY
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel that kinks/fantasies develop due to a several factors. First, mainly being how one was raised and second, the exposure to how sex is portrayed through media. How one approaches these kinks/fantasies and act upon it is mostly dependent on their character and values as well as familiarizing their likes/dislikes. Everyone has their standards to what they see as "kinky" or not. It's not until you attach a sexual image/emotion/reaction to the object/feeling/action dose it then become something that turns one on. For me personally, it also to be considered that I need to fully trust the man and be able to feel comfortable with him during times when I'm most vunrebal.

    Example - I find myself to be rather modest. I'd freak out if a SO were to say hike up my dress at a public event infront of many that could possibly see. But when an ex did this after we left an event and on a quite street to our car, constantly tormenting me and tracing up to my soft spots. I outright asked him to just make me cum and he said, quietly and firmly, "don’t you ever presume to tell me how to f-you". Sounds terrible to some, perhaps?

    But it worked, because I trust him and knew he was taking a gamble on it being something playful. I cannot imagine anyone speaking to me like that in any other setting, and yeah, we got it in in the car.

    • Note - notice that I didn't comment that MEN are generally inclined to be the dominant one, cause both men I've been intimate with and some I've talked to, have come to say they love being dominated and enjoy being submissive during sexual play.

  • Something about a man just taking me does feel natural (with trust in a steady relationship obviously), it's actually a big turn on to feel that irresistibly desired whilst seeing him show his strength, and so also letting you know he can protect you too.

    • Good girl.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Actually its women who like that. Men are open to sex what ever form (statistically speaking I mean). They have actually found that their is a hormone in women's tears that makes men less aroused. So what your describing isn't the woman in pain, its control and that is different then pain and discomfort.

    As for why they like to be dominant, its probably due to biology. Men assert dominance in order to climb the social heirchy, this is in fact why women love a dominant man, it means he has status, it means he is a risk taker, and it means he has power all of which makes him more sexually appealing to women. I think that translates into sex for women but also for men because he is now making her submit to him when normally, whether people wish to admit it or not, women have the power (as they determine who reproduces and who does not so they have all the real power as biological lifes singular purpose is to reproduce). So him making her submit is just another form of climbing the social ladder and a sign of his status (just as it is for women).

  • Sorry ETP I'mma have to disagree with you here.. I can't stand most of that stuff.. And even when I watched porn, I never really liked sein woman in comfort.. The sexiest thing is that the women is totally comfortable.. I think it's more so because there's too much porn bein watched.. LOL..

    • In discomfort I meant***.. But thanks for MHO! 😄..

    • Np man. But I didn’t say that I’m really into all of the above lol. I’m into some of the above, but ALL within the context of consensual bedroom play if the woman is into this.

    • Of course.. And aw yeah.. 😂😂.. I figured that you wasn't really into all that..

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I don’t think it’s any of those things. I think it’s watching to much porn and thinking all women are into that.

  • If that was a case I wouldn't expect to see BDSM and gangbang sort of stuff far more popular among women than men in pornography. I suspect high estrogen does the reverse of what you said.

    • 50 Shades of Grey and all that shit should be guy flicks if that was the case.

  • Pain, discomfort, submission are three different things. Its never normal or natural to enjoy seeing a woman in pain or discomfort, any person who does needs professional help. It is primal to see her submissive.

  • I dunno but I suppose it'll be the same reason I like some of the above. Maybe it's biological, or maybe it's the way you were brought up that influences things that you like sexually

  • I get aroused knowing that a woman is in a position that I could do whatever I want for my sexual gratification, and that feels rather animalistic and instinctive. But I could never knowingly do something that would cause my partner to have pain. If she asked me to spank her, I don't think I could do it.

  • Ummm, some women are into that stuff. It's not gender based. It's just that people have their own preferences.

  • Maybe not abusive but the animalistic and domineering part yeah. Most women like the animalistic part as we can be just as animalistic. Also women I think have adapted to be biologically submissive to men's biological need to be dominant as a way letting men think they are in control meanwhile we women need their protection and labor to survive so we are able to manipulate them into doing what we want them to.

  • They want to be dominant and those one who are causing pain, because they are doormats for others in their job or among friends. A sex partner who tolerates this behavior is easiest option to fall out of their doormat behavior.
    In my limited experience are very masculine guys mostly affectionate, just sometimes brutal if they stand under stress. While less masculine men have often sadistic tendencies.

  • I don't think its either, i think its the result of suppressing sexual urges in modern society.

    But there are also women who like to dominate and men who are submissive as well as men and women who don't like it at all...

    Also there are people who need the opposite role in bed from their role in their everyday life.
    Someone who is dominant at work, because he has to decide everything and has to order people around, may enjoy an hour of being submissive and relaxation in bed...

  • Well, it's psychotic, which is not really any of those three synonyms you listed.

  • I disagree with pain and discomfort because it is also in men's genes to be protective of women. But female submission being pleasurable for men could make sense.

  • Humans are basically just more complicated animals. If you've ever watched animals in heat, then you'd know why we have some of these instincts. Animals having sex can look like "rape" to so-called civilized humans. There's usually a good deal of predatory behavior and violence involved. Instinctively, this predatory behavior is attractive to female species because it signifies dominance and good genetics, which in theory means the ideal offspring to continue the lineage.

    Some men seek to prove that they are the alpha-male, and some women naturally have a positive sexual response to that behavior. We as humans of course, embellish and over complicate these things taking ques from "society" to measure what alpha-male behavior is in terms of a man, while our primal animal instincts are operating in the background. We equating the notion of things like pulling her hair as a show of dominance and virility, and see submissive responses in a woman as a sign of good fertility, etc.

    It's all just a dance to prove our good status as a sexual partner to someone of the opposite sex, but we tend to over embellish, because we're humans and sex is largely a recreational activity now.

  • Loooooool that’s nice I like it too because I think I would feel vulnerable and feminine

  • I don’t think men in general have that inclination

    • We do.

    • Ok 👍🏼

  • Sounds sociopathic to me.

  • It's more of a primal instinct to want to dominate.

  • No, I don't get the pain discomfort part. If we go primal/biological I think that the male usually protects the female. This isn't predator prey. Just male and female.

  • liking her submissiveness is a natural and primal thing for me. the pain side of things grew from the poor treatment of EXes (cheating etc) as sort of pay back

  • I don't think it's anything beyond psychopathic to make a women feel pain. If it's pain that is actually pleasure, that's different

    • I'm assuming that's what they mean. Plenty of women enjoy it too from what I've heard.

  • It's either sadism or it's a mental disability and it has nothing to do with either the men, biology or nature. These subhumans are irreversibly deranged and inflict harm to others no matter what.

    Overpowering, bossing women and BDSM is one thing.
    But the only time I would ever enjoy seeing men/women in pain is if they have cheated or in any way got karma'd for past wrongdoings.

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