How to put less value on girls or losing my virginity?

[Chester_Cheeto]

This type of stuff has been haunting me since the 7th grade. I will be in the 11th grade next year. Still happening. I get really jealous of dudes who are openly bragging about how many girls they slept with or how many exes they have. I feel like losing my virginity at a late age like 20 would be something I don't wanna tell my future kids when they get to their teenage years. Today I've uninstalled Instagram because there are too many hot taken girls my age that fit my standards / sexual posts that make me cripple inside / people showing off having better lives than me with their girls. It took me 4 years to notice this is getting out of hand. I'm an introvert working on social skills. I get slightly mad whenever a girl doesn't show interest in me, even though I get a bit shy around girls and get nervous to socialize with them. Even though I only made little interaction with them. It's way too out of hand.
I want to return to living a normal life again without having to worry about girls or staying a virgin. It was a peaceful life. I don't want to keep thinking about girls every time I decide to walk outside and talk to people. I want to learn how to see them as friends like how I did in elementary school. I don't wanna think about her sexual interests when I'm good friends with her. This is torturing my mentality because unlike extroverted dudes that can get the girls they want, I struggle with that. I don't wanna keep sexually fantasizing about girls that I can't get. These thoughts exist just to piss me off.
I've tried being more productive around the house and at school. I've tried to slow down my masturbation urges. I've tried to stay off porn more often. I try meditation. I try talking to people. Nothing is working.
Is / has every teenage boy gone through this problem or is there something seriously wrong with me? Should I talk to girls more? Should I stay away from them? Does this mean I need to get out with girls more? I need help.

[AmandaYVR]

Chester, you're great. I know you're in turmoil right now and maybe that seems strange for me to say, but here's what I like about you:
You didn't anon this.
You can write cogent thoughts.
You feel bitter (a form of emotion) and admit to that, yet are trying to be rational and logical here, fighting against frustration and turning bitter.
You have thought about this. You have tried several things to resolve how you feel.
Your grammar and writing in general is clear and easy to understand.
You are honest.

Now. I'm not sure that what I'm going to say is the right thing to say, but what comes to mind is this - a day or two ago I answered a girl's question about being addicted to porn. As per usual, there was a deluge of male support (and a tiny bit of female) telling her, as others with similar questions have been told, "There's nothing wrong with you. It's completelely normal" and basically, 'you're not an addict, and carry on.
Bullshit. If someone is saying they know they are an addict, 'I'm drowning here', and are asking for help, you don't just give them some more water to drink.
I know there are a lot of young minds on here, and they haven't figured out a bunch of stuff yet, and that's fine (and adults never completely figure life out either, to be fair and honest), but recognizing we all have problems, things we are trying to fix or resolve, is the first step in becoming a better, and happier, person. So good for you, Chester. You're on the right track.

Anyway, an anonymous male commenter on her q said this, "I was addicted to porn when I was about your same age. Mentally you may not even be aroused at all an yet you are touching yourself to get that feeling. For me I was doing it 5 or 6 times a day every day. I was lucky enough to get distracted with school that I slowed down.
It didn't stop until i got a girlfriend. I realized I was chasing a feeling that would never be satisfied. Thank goodness I found her as I went basically cold Turkey once we started dating because I didn't find the time to squeeze one out. I was in dire need of companionship and though her and I didn't work out, I'm forever thankful to her as she showed me that I was compensating for some kind of human connection. Just maybe thats what you need now as well."

So my instinct here (and it could be wrong, I don't know for certain if this is the direction to take) is to follow this man's advice.

You have a desire, a need. It's nothing to feel bad about. It's human nature. We can also want all sorts of higher goals, and I believe wholeheartedly in grey matter thinking, but that stuff comes after the base, core needs. Your hormones are raging, and no matter what age and sex, we all need companionship and at least some type of affection, and quite often, intimacy in our lives. It's not like, knowing this, you can just go out tomorrow and lickety split, find a great girl, problem solved. But you could make a conscious decision to chip away at this, little by little, and start to push yourself more to come out of your shell, and begin the process of meeting someone some day. Quarantine makes this especially tough, but you've always got the internet, so you could start there. There's a whole world out there (although I realize your own geography does factor in significantly), and at 20 you are ripe for exploring. Now's the time. It's your life. Go out and get it. Carpe diem.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/w3xcybdis1k

[AmandaYVR]

Oops, you're 15 not 20. My bad. Yeah, lots of time. Don't worry. Good times are ahead. No need to rush. Just think of all the exploring you'll get to do. You can't recreate firsts. Just appreciate them, whenever they happen.

[SuzuBrooke]

No. No. No. Silly, quit worrying about social qualms. I'd rather a guy who has respect for himself and rsther be a friend than one of those popular guys with extroverted personalities that are constantly trying to get with girls. And girls feel the same/well most of them feel the same way and are pressured. I know I was in middle school. And sometimes when I'm having a really bad day now in Highschool.

But the thing is. Holding back from girls is respectable. Especially since nobody in highschool, even the most reserved person has their horomones in check. You wouldn't want your girlfriend your dating to accidently have a baby when both of you are not ready to handle the consequences. And no, condoms don't solve all.

But you should at least practice talking to girls outside or at least online. You'll learn that both genders aren't that much different from one another, it's just society pushes us in different directions. Saying "hi" usually gets a "hello" like from you and your amigo. No biggy! Another thing, there isn't anything wrong with you based on all that I've heard from the guys in my friendgroup, online, and basically anywhere. Just know that you aren't alone!

[Shamalien]

The world is sick, you were born into it, and it sucks. I went through the same thing.

Best to keep an aloof attitude around women, and if you notice one is interested, hang out with em like a friend, but don't put too much pressure on it, 99% chance it's all bullshit.

[alc24]

I guess the only good piece of advice I could give you is to focus on yourself and don’t be focused on what others are doing. It’s definitely easier said than done. It sucks how we are expected to kinda “grow up” once we hit middle school. You go from elementary school and being this innocent being to kids losing their virginity at 6th grade. You feel this pressure like you need to do the same, to feel accepted. But there is no shame in being a virgin at 15, no shame at being a virgin at 20. They may brag that they lost their virginity, but it was most likely awkward and very disappointing. They just want attention and I am sure they will soon regret losing it so young and with someone they probably don’t even care about. High school relationships from what I learned from others are almost complete bullshit and it’s not worth looking at.

[Insomniac1996]

No shame in being a virgin at your age. Most high school sex is awkward and disappointing anyways so those who brag about it are doing it for the attention. Don't be so focused on what others are doing.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it happens eventually. I was saving my virginity for marriage so my boyfriend and i did a lot of foreplay and dry humping. We progressed to the point where he would get naked and i would too except for a little thong and while covered in baby oil we would rub up against each other, any i was grinding on top of his naked penis one night as usual in my little thong, i was super turned on and really going for it and some how my thong got pushed to the side and he entered me cumming almost instantly.

[Chester_Cheeto]

Of course well it's it's easier to value sex less if you're a christain.