How long to wait before having sex with a new boyfriend?

Question

Hi Girls & Guys,
I’ve matched with a guy online about 2 months ago. We write a lot and it’s really nice. Because we are kind of far away from each other we only managed to meet up twice. Those meetings were very pg 13 and not a lot happened sexually.
As we get more familiar we both said that we would like to take it further. Usually I have no problem sleeping with guys, especially if I know them for such a long time.
But I really like this guy and we didn’t have the talk if we are really together or not and I’m afraid of overthinking all of this, but I’m afraid if we have sex he may loose interest.

So my question to the guys: what makes you loose interest after having sex with a girl and are you willing to wait longer if you like a girl or do you think it’s a tease.

And girls: how long do you wait before having sex with a new maybe-boyfriend. Do you voice your concerns if you have any or are you more chill about it all?

Being_a_good_Indian · Accepted Answer

To sleep with him or not to sleep with him isn’t really the question…date 3 or date 6 is beside the point. If your end goal is a relationship, give it time. 
 
 My best advice: discover, don’t decide. 
 
 Enjoy the early discovery phase without getting overly invested. And by overly invested, yes, I mean jumping in bed. I’d rather you wait and get hooked after you decide a man is good, kind and interested in the same kind of relationship as you. Look for signs that he’s trying to make you happy. Notice how you FEEL around him. If it’s too soon to make a decision about whether this guy is actually relationship material for you, hold off . If he’s relationship-minded and willing to commit, he won’t mind waiting. The wait IS about making sure he’s willing to invest in getting to really know you. 
 
 If the wait is irritating to him, odds are good he wasn’t looking for the same thing. Either way, good news. Men who are relationship-ready want to know that you’re taking them seriously too. And if you’re quick to hit the sack he’ll wonder if that’s your pace with every man. 
 
 Giving it away too soon doesn’t require much of him (or you!). Wait until he can provide you with the trust, confidence, and honesty that you need – it’ll up the ante for authentic connection. And be sure you give him the same. First, you have to know what YOU need in order to feel safe emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Do you have any questions or queries? Feel free to ask. 😊

_SOARER · Accepted Answer

You should talk to him about what you both want.
It sounds like you want to be his girlfriend.
Tell him about what you want and see if that matches up with what he wants.
Tell him that you dont want to ruin things by having sex too early even though you really want to have sex with him

katiesmuff · Accepted Answer

I would have had sex with them before they became boyfriend in the few times I had boyfriends.
I really wasn't all that interested in the boyfriend/ relationship thing. I more enjoyed having fun with guys and if we connected at all then lets fuck.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

As long as you want. I usually wait one month until I get intimate with someone because that's how long it takes me to feel comfortable around them.

Derekk · Answer

The biggest thing to worry about is whether he's interested in you as a person or not. If he is, no amount of waiting will make a difference, and he'll still like you whether you sleep with him now or in a month. Provided he's a good man of course.

MrHopper · Answer

I never expected sex in any relationship so its never been an issue "waiting". I only enter relationships with people i want to spend time with, sex is just a nice thing (although i rather a back rub)

If a guy looses interest after sex then sadly he isn't worth the effort.

Barry88 · Answer

Sex doesn't change it if I would lose interest or not. I'm willing to wait as long as she is fine with it as long as it's reasonable. Depends on how frequently we date, but in general I would say I expect something after 3-6 months. Earlier is fine as well, I won't lose interest if she decides to have sex at an early stage.