Sexual Relationships
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How can I comfort and reassure the guy I just started dating that I’m not losing interest in him because of his erectile dysfunction?

The guy I’ve been seeing for a couple months has started having symptoms indicating he may be diabetic, including struggles getting and keeping an erection. Even though we’ve already decided to be exclusive, he asks every so often if I’m seeing or talking to anyone else. He’s very insecure and feeling like less of a man and worries he can’t make me happy, but the truth is that he’s the greatest guy I’ve dated in a long time. I've already told him that if this is the worst problem we need to overcome together I’ll be thrilled and I’m not planning on going anywhere. Is there anything else I can do to help him feel better?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • You are going to have to look at alternative approaches to sexual enjoyment.
    A blanket statement almost always true is that he should become masterful at cunnilingus and fingering. Where he succeeds, his unsureness will be mitigated by knowing he can make the floor shake for you without an erection. Then you look at alternatives for him including oral sex other acts and some sophisticated toys. It is possible for him to have an orgasm and even some degree ejaculation even with almost no erection. You are on the same team. With creativity and lack of inhibition, you can get to a satisfying routine.

    • “You are on the same team.” That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to tell him but just didn’t think of the right words. It’s something that I want us to overcome together, not make him feel alone or like it creates a wedge between us. Thanks for helping me think of another way to say what I’ve been trying to.

    • When things go poorly, that's when his heart is going to be painfully open. That's when you say, cheerfully: "Well, not this time. No problem. We'll try again next time".

Most Helpful Guy

  • « I've already told him that if this is the worst problem we need to overcome together I’ll be thrilled and I’m not planning on going anywhere «
    - You should have skiped the part « if this is », because what is there is worst?

    Overall, as a man I can honestly tell you that there is nothing you can do. This is in his head. Just be around him and be very affectionate.

    Show him you love him and be very careful when you talk about other men. Do not mention something linked to manhood or sex.

    In this predicament, we tend to overthink and imagine things.

    • When I made my comment I meant that I’ve been with guys before who were very bad people and chose to be that way and never treated me as well as he does. This is not something he has chosen so I don’t blame him for it.

    • That's horse shit. A problem in the penis means serious health conditions and its not in His head. It's actually a serious indicater that a heart attack can happen in the future and He should deal with it ASAP. If its not a circulatory problem then its hormonal and He needs to adhere to a strict diet with exercise to raise His testosterone levels until the problem resolves its self. We need to understand there is a war being waged against masculinity with all the chemicals in our food and no one gives a flying fuck so We need to care about this and take charge of our own health. Oh and for the record I have dealt with this problem since I was 30 and its humiliating and it causes lots of anxiety. The thing I realized it was My BMI and once I got over 190 My penis stopped working so keeping My weight below 185 keeps it working even at 47.

Most Helpful Girls

  • always be around him I think. and I thought it would be great if you two wants to fight his diabetic.

  • Just keep treating him the way you've been treating him.

    • Also just wanted to say that there's a solution for everything.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3

  • You sound like an amazing person and girlfriend. It seems to me that you could simply continue to be consistently understanding and supportive and encourage him to pursue medical evaluation and treatment for his possible diabetes and ED or both.

    • That’s what I’ve been doing. Both my parents are diabetic and I’ve also lost a grandma from complications of diabetes. I tell him how concerned I am given his parents having had a stroke and heart surgeries, etc. I know a lot about diabetes and diet to control it so I’ve mentioned the idea of going shopping and cooking some healthy meals together for him to take home and freeze. He works nights so when he doesn’t have time to cook it’s mostly late night fast food that he eats and I want to do what I can to help him. I think he knows that I care, but he didn’t have this issue with his last girlfriend that he broke up with just a few months back, so it’s hit him hard and just really gets to him. Thank you for the kind words. 😊

    • You're welcome. Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you in his life. Both of those conditions are treatable. And while it's understandable that so many girlfriends and wives think erection problems are a reflection on them, you seem to understand that that's not the case. And that's another thing about this situation you're in together with your boyfriend that is very positive.

    • It's not just diet He has to actually start running to burn that excess sugar thats slowly killing Him. Taking medication will only fix the symptoms but it won't fix the problem. I am prediabetic and I have to take benadryl allday because when My blood sugar rises I start itching all over and that's been happening for years. I also had heart problems with palpitations and I even had a mini heart attack. I lost My family two years ago due to a cheating spouse and Me weight went from 240 to 186 in the matter of months and every health problem I had vanished and I actually felt young again and looked 10 years younger too. So keeping your health within a healthy range is very important especially as We age. The thing You need to notice is that BMI chart at the doctors office is just a recommendation and every body is different so Your target weight could be lower or higher than the recommendation.

  • Take charge of His diet and encourage Him to exercise regularly while walking in the park or hitting the gym. I'm going to be direct and tell You the anxiety caused by ED is not fun and its something that can destroy confidence in the long run so its best to get down to the root of the problem and fix it asap. If You want a quick solution then do a google search for research chemical companies and buy a bottle of cialis suspended in alcohol. Its a grey area in the law so its very questionable but its a loop hole none the less. It's also a lot cheaper meaning You get a bottle and as long as You use half a stopper every day He will have an erection on demand for 4 months and it costs about 45 bucks compared to the hundreds of dollars the criminals charge in the legal route for only a a months worth.

  • It is normal for him to feel like that. you can talk about how its not a problem for you and you like him anyway. you can always find ways in sex despite the problem

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