Should I leave the idea?

[Anonymous]

Of giving him my number?

I like a costumer since the day one. In the beggining he always showed distant but polite. With the past of time he opened up and during the quarantine he opened more. The thing is I always thought he was gay. 2 weeks ago after not seeing him for more than one month he was very "excited to see me?(Repeating my name, talking about his life).

The following days or he came with male friends or alone.

Few days ago another costumer asked my number , I gave him... just in that moment he passes by (the exchanging was on the street).

Today I spoke with him in the shop but I didn't have the ovaries to give him his number. He doesn't give clear signs.

I need to add I will leave the city soon and if I decide to give him his number I don't know if I will be able to have sex (I am virgin and psychological shit... I know I need therapy).

Should I forget him and move on or I should show some ovaries?

[CoolGuyJoe]

You should prioritize your psychological journey. You will avoid a LOT of problems if you are in a good space with your mental health when you begin pursuing relationships. Please take this advice seriously.

I am a guy in my early twenties. Do you have any idea how badly I want sex? It is absolutely not worth it unless you are content with your own self. Buy a sex toy and improve the quality there. You are off the market until you are happy. Trust me. It will only cause your mental health to go to places you didn't think nor want it to go.

[Asker]

😞😞😞Yeah you are right

[Asker]

But I am alone and I feel alone... I wanna know what to be loved looks like

[CoolGuyJoe]

You will not know what it is really like to be loved until you first have that love for yourself. Your life will be transformed when you love yourself.

[Asker]

Then never ever

[Asker]

And that's bs... a lot of people who don't love themselves they are loved romantically so... Nope you are not right

[CoolGuyJoe]

*I have to split this into multiple parts* 1 I'm sorry, that was actually a rather depressing way to word what I wanted to say. When you love yourself and are in a good headspace, healthy relationships tend to saturate the colors in your world. I see a lot of posts online where people are referring to their relationships like life rafts, or how they have no purpose in life aside from their relationship with their significant other. Relationships don't have to be the most important part of a person's life, or what keeps them going each day. Relationships can be fun, mutually beneficial interactions between two people who love spending time with eachother. They are focused on what brings them joy, and want to share that, and their experiences, with their significant other. All relationships have their ups and downs. But these ones are fundamentally revolving around two capable individuals who are going through life together.

[CoolGuyJoe]

2 Lets say you have a job. And at that job, you are responsible for certain things. You have a coworker who works in the same department as you, but with different responsibilities. You want to be there to share information with them, to give them tips and updates on whats going on, and to give them a hand by taking over momentarily if they get swamped and need to tend to things elsewhere. And that relationship works great. That's what we should seek in our relationship partners. Individuals who are driven, capable, (albeit human just like the rest of us) and willing to step in and show support when the time arises. Because if someone is draining you, not willing to solve their issues, or simply doesn't recognize your worth and your needs, why would we stay and let ourselves be treated poorly? That's what I mean by self love. You want to know exactly what kind of treatment is okay coming from your partner, what isn't, and vice-versa. And if that person isn't treating you right, you will want to love yourself enough to be feel OK with breaking up with them. Being single isn't bad. But being in a relationship with someone who isn't good for your health is *definitely* bad.

[Asker]

But practically no one love themselves a lot of people have self seems problems and they have partners who loves them

[Asker]

I think you are trying to justify to not go out from your comfort zone

[CoolGuyJoe]

There is a fine line between someone going out of their comfort zone with someone they know and trust, and allowing themselves to be mistreated. If my girl asks me to go to a concert when she knows I'm not the biggest fan of concerts, I might say "Hey, what the heck, lets go and see what happens. I know we'll be together, and she'll understand if I end up not enjoying myself." Now if we go and she starts telling me I'm a pussy for not taking shots or I'm just being jealous because she's grinding on other guys, that's a big no-no. I wouldn't want my potential/current significant other doing those things, because those invalidate my values and my standpoint. I want her to be understanding, as I was to her by choosing to join her at this concert she was looking forward to. There needs to be an equal exchange between the two people in the relationship. If someone doesn't have a good feel for what they know is good for themselves, they may be vulnerable to being walked over by others who don't consider their needs. That's why I mention self love.

[Asker]

In this life you gotta have some balls/ovaries

[AustinMan]

Don't give anyone else your number until you get your head on straight. Just date BOB.

[Asker]

BOB?

[AustinMan]

Battery Operated Boyfriend. LOL