Do you think jacking off makes you desensitized to sex with another person?

[McMillanD]

For those avid fappsters.

My guy likes to jack off. He tells me it doesn't matter how many times we have sex in a day he still wants to strangle the one eyed monster on his own. It isn't even about the porn as sometimes he will watch videos, look at pictures or even watch me work while he get off (I don't even know lol but whatever). He says that it is just a different feeling when he does it himself.

During sex he has his own "rhythm" that he needs to do to "get there" and when I am giving head I like to try all of these different things (never stop improving right?) But no matter what I do or try the only way I can ever get him to finish is if I jack him off exactly how he does it to himself.

For a long while I wondered if it was me. Something I wasn't doing (hence why I try everything). But he says that he has always just been like that with everyone, even from the first time he ever had sex.

So, do you become desensitized or even maybe stuck getting off a certain way when doing it with "Palmila Handerson" for so long?

[Finchie40]

The fact that he is still jerking off like he is isn’t a good thing , if you are giving him plenty of sex then he should have really no reason to beat off like he does , hate to say it but he isn’t really fulfilled. In his sex life with you And the fact that he can only get off on you from a certain way you do things to him is a big red flag , he his blowing smoke up your ass telling you otherwise. So right now it sounds like he likes the convenience of you but the second he gets the opportunity to bang another girl that in his mind will fulfill him don’t think for a second he will bat an eye. His porn addiction and his jerking off are red flags that he isn’t really that into you. It’s disrespectful to be honest , How would he feel if you were constantly masturbating to other guys screwing you and when you have sex with him you wouldn’t get off unless he screwed you a certain way? Again I don’t really know your whole relationship and sex life with this guy. So I am just giving you my opinion on your question and all I see is red flags

[jkm1864]

The problem is the penis always takes the path of least resistance and if a wife or girl friend turns a man down enough He will either turn to porn or any other woman that gives Him less resistance. I for one wouldn't cheat but lets face it from a woman's perspective porn is cheating because the man watching it is wishing Her was that asshole banging the porn star. It also makes a woman more insecure and She feels less attractive which is actually a downward spiral or negative feed back loop which leads to even less sex. Now if the woman wouldn't turn the man down as much He wouldn't need to turn to porn or other women but oh well I guess that's where communication comes in.

[Finchie40]

Exactly well said my friend, so it comes down to how much sex you are giving him. , now if you are giving him sex a lot and he is still doing this then you should be concerned and probably dump his ass , but if you are only giving him sex say once sometimes twice a week then his jerking off is mainly caused by not being fulfilled , why they always say sex is important in a relationship , when sex dies down in a relationship then usually the relationship dies as well , so it comes down to how much you make him feel wanted and yes he needs to do the same for you , if not then you’re best to dump him and move on

[jkm1864]

Exactly men feel love through sex and when He doesn't get sex He feels less desirable. A man whom gets enough sex won't need to jerk off because His needs are met but He might maybe once a week. A man whom continues to spank the monkey constantly even after He gets plenty of sex is chasing the dopamine which means He has an addiction which isn't good. As far as dumping be an adult and talk to Your partner and let Him know Your feelings about it and possibly turn Him on to videos or articles on why jerking off and avoiding porn is better for sex to give Him motivation but if He continues to abuse that monkey then by all means dump His ass. I'll just say though if it was me and I was given the choice of sex three times a week or jerk off I'd choose sex any day.

[jkm1864]

Our strongest desire as an animal species is to reproduce bar none and jerking off does absolutely nothing for that desire where as sex with satiate that desire. Hell a blow job won't even satiate that desire and honestly there isn't anything more satisfying than blowing a load inside a woman's vagina.

[MannMitAntworten]

His problem is that he is still tossing off... apparently a LOT. Get him to stop for a week or two and I bet he will cum faster than you can imagine... at least there first few times. Anyway, yeah, just like vibrators with women, yes, it desensitizes.

[jkm1864]

I'm speaking from experience when I say this. Porn and jacking off really messes with Your brain chemistry and makes sex less enjoyable and thats one of the primary reason men push for anal sex. I did it because I wasn't satisfied with sex and the wife didn't like it because it was painful and She got nothing from it. Now if I was smarter the pain part could have been handled but using but plugs but I was ignorant so She wouldn't do it so it led Me to being frustrated. Well after 17 years She decided to have an affair and one of the reasons She used was Me watching porn. Loosing My family devastated Me and I lost about 54 pounds in 3 months because I couldn't eat. Well I couldn't even look at porn any more and after about two months My brain chemistry worked itself out and when I had sex again it was amazing and interestingly enough the vagina felt better than anal sex did before I was fucked up with porn. I will also say the orgasm was more intense also and it felt almost like multiple orgasms that are real close together. So from that I'm a believer that porn is actually bad and when I'm in a relationship I won't even look at it.

[MannMitAntworten]

Well, not being one for porn or tossing off I really cannot speak towards. I just know when ai was engaged in sex daily and several times throughout the day it did cause me to take a lot longer to climax. With regard to anal sex, I appreciate the “option” but I have always preferred vaginal over that and oral. Frankly oral sex for ne is more or less novelty since my experiencing in receiving it is that women largely suck at sucking. The only thing I do know in contrast to those who I am aware of who watch a shitload of porn is that they have bizarre kinks where I do not. Equally, I am also not into “sexting” or phone sex either. Flirting is fun, but overt does zero for me... I do however humor my women if they need that... but that is what actually sleeping together is for and far better.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yeah, it does.

Especially if his "strangulation" technique is a death grip.

It's like any other motion/movement - the more it happens the more it desensitizes.

He ought to try a short period of no fap, followed by sex with you. He'll probably be able to finish.

Honestly, biologically, he can't mastrubate and have as fresh a dick as if he hadn't. He might think he does, but he doesn't.

[McMillanD]

Interesting. And that is exactly what he does too. When I am jacking him off he is always telling me to squeeze harder.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yeah, he's lost sensation. My ex struggled with that and never fixed it. Three hours of him pumping away still meant no cum. He was so terrible to fuck. I'm so much happier with my current partner - he masturbates but not as much and nowhere near as hard. He's wonderfully sensitive.

[DizzyDesii]

Sex? Nah. But i know a lot of guys who say the girl can't give a handjob like the guy jerks himself

[ryaninalaska907]

So do you think if a guy jacks off every day several times in the day (as maney time threw out the day as he can) that will cause him to have a hard time having sex with a girl and the only sex that makes hime fell good if with another guy cause a guy know what a guy likes?

[AustinMan]

You could be right. I suspect that he's just close minded about it.

[God_of_Thunder]

Not for me, no.

Personally, I just have a very high sex drive. No matter how much, or how often, I masturbate, my girl can, and does, get me rock hard and horny within seconds. I'd drop everything to have sex with her at a moments notice.

I enjoy masturbating, but it doesn't even compare to the feeling, and intimacy, of having sex with her.

[rachel776]

most of my bfs jerk off all the time even right after we just have sex

[summiter]

I have been in plenty of relationships and jacked off frequently even with regular sex. Does he get off when you have sex or do you have to finish him by hand?

[McMillanD]

If he is going to finish in, than yes he can do that, but only if he goes at a break neck pace. But if he can't or wants to finish elsewhere than its like 45 min of hand/mouth squeezing tight and at a rapid speed as well before he can cum.

[Jaximus-Lion]

It does take me a long time to reach ''there'' but it's not because of the fapping , although it takes me longer time if i will jack it and tons of videos , lube, vibrator and so on. I have an old injury that effects my member. Sometimes i do like your man does but not for the same reasons, but my wife gets tired really quick and i don't get tired :P plus we bought a vibrator sleeve (almost like a fleshlight) and it's playful and works great. I don't think porn is the reason here, am not a doctor but i can compare it to my self and to other married men at my age who do take a long time even when they don't watch porn.

[McMillanD]

Yeah I don't think it's porn either. I was more wondering if you can get used to "doing things" a certain way and then it doesn't work as well other ways? Like getting used to doing it yourself and not being able to get there when someone else does it.

[Jaximus-Lion]

I did watch few documentaries about such matter and many men even those who never cheated nor had problems with watching porn talking about their best orgasms by masturbating because they know exactly what to do , when and how , on the other hand when they are with their partners , they half to talk and explain all the time while having the sexual sensation which do effect the progress and makes it take longer time and maybe end up in a very unsatisfying end that can ruin the mood for a whole day.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

yep, he's desensitized. You should introduce him to male chastity and take control of his cock. Don't give him a choice because he cannot control himself. Once you establish that you are in control of his orgasm, and WHEN he is allowed to have them, he will gladly take whatever form of pleasure you see fit to give him. If he can't orgasm (at first), then he simply doesn't get to orgasm, better luck next time!

[McMillanD]

Wouldn't that make him mad? And how would one even prevent someone else from jacking off? I can't watch him 24 hours a day.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Male chastity device will stop the masturbating. You will need to control and manipulate him to address the anger, channel it into lust. There's a lot of really good how-to guides regarding male chastity, but basically you need to use your sexuality to manipulate his behaviors. It's actually quite easy once you get the hang of it. You have to maintain control while keeping him in a state of arousal, with his orgasm, or any sexual attention being the reward for good behaviors.

[jkm1864]

Yes jacking off to much does make the penis less sensitive because the orgasm releases dopamine in the brain and when it happens to much the dopamine receptors lose sensitivety.

[DannyFanny]

If you watch porn all day everyday then it might affect some but if you do it 1s a day or every other day I see no problem

[Dargil]

Not at all. It's working out to keep your plumbing and libido in good shape.

[Makeushiver]

I like the "Pamila Handerson", that's funny. There is no particular way I need to jerk off. I'm sure whatever you do you do it wonderfully. You should be as picky about boyfriend giving you head as he is re. his hand jobs.

[hbg84]

I've never been able to cum from a blow job. I have to usually jack off in order to cum. During sex I can usually cum no matter what. Some guys are just different they have a hard time cumming from sex. Just like some women.

[Troubledyoungman]

To much of this yes. It has been a problem I experience in the past and when I laid off the improvements were very noticeable

[Twalli]

You can. I haven't, but I probably masturbate less than most guys as I prefer sex.

[asshole_]

Nope!

[BeyondCuriosity]

One thing I have noticed with myself is that I sort of have to train my body for new habits, and sometimes it takes some patience the first time or two to get there with the new position/stimulation. I can also say that it is maybe easier for me to get there by taking care of it myself, but not nearly as good. You might express to him that it might be worth his while to hold off on taking care of himself and be patient. Especially with the oral stuff you're trying. Just a thought though. I don't think you should concern yourself as far as doing anything wrong.

[TotallyAlmost]

It's never had a negative impact on me. I died laughing at "Palmila Handerson."

[CharlieDMX]

It's proven that it does if you do it too frequently

[thruholewizard]

Your boyfriend prefers fantasy and being in control to intimacy and union with you. Sex with you leaves him feeling frustrated , that is why no matter how many times you have sex he needs to masterbate to releave himself. This is not a loving relationship , he is alone with you. Make him get help... or stop wasting your time!
That is my opinion. Blessed Be.

[billluc69]

no, you can always do it together

[McMillanD]

Did you even read the post?