I am a disgrace in the eyes of God, but am I in societies eyes?

I grew up sheltered. Like homeschooled and barely out of the house. But with a good wifi connection and time to browse and explore. At a youngish age I met fanfiction and if you know fanfiction you know what a lemon or a lime are. I'd read and write them a lot. Still do but not as much as I did then. I've had one sexual partner my whole life, never even kissed before him and we started when I was 21. We weren't married and haven't gotten married, in fact I've left him for legal reasons. But ultimately things happened which led to me having an abortion behind everyones back a year ago to escape from him. I wound up in hospital because the pills only half worked and I was really sick and had to get a D&C, in hospital was told it's a blighted ovum not a baby but I was 12 weeks which coincided with why I left him. My highly religious friend was talking to me about a friend of hers who is having an abortion and she says it's because she had sex before marriage and it's her own fault she got pregnant etc.

I just wonder if it's really so bad. I took my BC pill, I only had one partner, I didn't plan on having sex before marriage. I also didn't count on him being who he was. Am I a bad person for doing these things?
I am a disgrace in the eyes of God, but am I in societies eyes?
Add Opinion