I've tried to buy a book (not flexible enough) I've suggested toys, roleplay.. he doesn't want to. I've tried everything I can possibly think of thats within my comfort zone.
I wish you had posted as someone I could chat with, privately. Not sure I can help, but some things, and maybe some more discussion, about how you relate, and him, and I can help you understand him, and it sounds like he's in a 'man-cave' mode. Your choice, for private chat.
So if i lets say- have the flu and he knows that I desperately want to be the only outlet for him sexually- it is fair for him to break his promise because i am sick and unable to perform for him?
if your sick then he should understand your not able to help directly. so he should support you in those times and help to make you feel better for when your able to help again.but once your up to it you could possible help indirectly. there is more to being a sexual relationship with someone then just physical contact. like wearing a outfit you know he likes seeing you in that turns him on for instance. can often be a good starting point if many cases.if your comfortable doing so could have him take a few photos. or share him some selfies of you even. to use as material to help relief himself when your not around. *does not have to be nudes or anything that reveling if you don't wish to do so.*sometimes it is difficult for a guy to draw on just his own memories alone. for material to use when releasing stress and sexual tense himself. so that is often why they turn to things like porn and other adult content.
I think sexual release is more important than reapect now and days. Its not hard to either not date someone who doesn't agree with porn or to date someone knowing that and respects it. But unfortunately, if a man needs a sexual release because i was unable to open my legs for him the moment he wants it- he breaks the agreement we had in the beginning because his sexual needs are more important than my feelings. I dont really care if people call me names and tell me im one way or another. I make clear my boundries to any guy before we are offical and if theyre respecting of it- then that means you stick to the respect
Respect? He isn't cheating on you. I mean, think how you want, but that is basically controlling in a nut shell. They are not bothering you and are RESPECTING your option to not have sex, by simply taking care of it themselves. He'll probs be thinking about you as he's doing it. he's not making love to anyone else, nor is he abusing you for sexual activity. It's more so a disrespect to think you can control a person for masterbating. But, I'm sure there are men with a fetish for being cuckholded, so, you'll def find a man out there! I mean, do you love, but masterbating has NOTHING to do with disrespecting ones partner. It's something we do when we are young and discovering ourselves. But hey, its your life
So MUTUALLY AGREEING agreeing on porn use is controlling? Can a guy not masturbate without porn or is that impossible?And also the "he's probably thinking of you" thing is false. Actually scientifically false lol. They are focusing on the images at the moment. Men are not mulitaskers by nature- they are one tack minded usually. When they like what they see and how the images are making them feel- they focus soley on those things. If I dated a man who said I dont want you posting sexy photos of yourself on social media because it makes me feel uncomfortable- id respect him.. instead of sayin "you're SO CONTROLLING FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I can't WEAR WHAT I WANT!!!". nah thats bullshit too. If its too hard to respect an individuals boundaries then dont fucking date them. Simple. Its not that hard to not watch porn just as its not hard to not post sexy photos on social media.
Like I said, if you two agree then its fine. And agian, like I said, lots of guys like the while cuckold thing🤷♀️But, masterbating is natural and healthy and you not wanting it because of some idea that its disrespectful is nuts. But, luke you have your opinion, I have mine. Also, your attitude is very uncalled for, makes your entire argument look even more ignorant.
Also, if you think most men aren't good multitaskers, then you're also wrong agian. Businessmen, doctors, mechanics and even military have skills in multitasking, all if which majority are filled with men Men are very capable multitaskers.
@Mystic_Nova Amen sister!!! 😄
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
I have sex as much as he wants to the point where it hurts and he still needs to watch it. If I dont want him to im belittled and shamed because Im "insecure" and "controlling"
Ok I see where you’re coming from, you’re doing the most you can to please him.However. You could say that the reason why he is like this is because he has a high sex drive
Well i guess if a guy has a high sex drive it doesn't matter if he hurts his girlfriends self esteem. Because a mans sexual release is NUMBER ONE. above all else.
I have an idea
Make a porn with him.And if he watches that whenever you are physically unable to fuck him.Then he loves you dearly.Because what that shows is that he only watches porn because you cannot fuck.So meet him in the middle.Now that being said it goes without saying that yes, if you make a porn with him and he doesn’t watch it when jacking off? Means he might have the POTENTIAL or desire to fuck other women
Reason why I’m saying that is cause I made a porn with my last ex.And she complained about the same thing.So after we made one, that’s all I watched when I jacked off.Shit even after we split I still watch it cause it was that good 😂😂
He isn't comfortable with that. I just think he prefers women who are big chested and can lick the cum off their face and etc. He probably thinks im boring. He gets upset that im not flexible. We tried getting a sex book for positions and he made fun of me for not being able to do things.
Your boyfriend is a jackass and a piece of shit.I would love to have a woman like you, turning a woman into a freak by taking her hand and trying new things with her is a thrill
Yea he threw the book away when I spent good money on it. I guess my adversion to porn is because I've been with guys who love it too much.
Wow... yeah he’s an asshole. I don't know why you’re still with him at this point
Because, take a look at other comments on this question. I have to be a strong enough sexual outlet for him. So I have to keep trying to be enough.
After reading through all of this, it's clear to me that your issue is that he has a high libido, even for a man, and that the majority of your issues is that you aren't able to completely satisfy him. Few women probably could alone. You are sexually incompatible, and your comments here kind of show that. Being controlling or trying to curb his appetite is about the worst thing you can do if you really want to work it out, which is probably a lost cause, but you probably won't see the wisdom in this until a long time after your relationship with him ends. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
I gotta say he’s kinda right.Which is why, I proposed making a porn with him.That will bring out where his mental state is when it comes to you and being faithful.But you already clarified that he’s not into that.So to add onto what this gentleman just said...You might want to cut your losses now, before you’ve invested more time, effort and emotions into this relationship and he really breaks your heart.Just a few words of wisdom
Quite honestly its not bad news.
Then I hope you find a more compatible lover in your future :)
I actually have made a decision not to date if it doesn't work out between my boyfriend. Id prefer it and have thought about it for years. Thank you though.
Welcome to the club.Self love is the best kind of love
I sure hope that you find a way to reconcile that - I'm very experienced and have learned that the good does heavily outweigh the bad if you can let go of the bitterness and hurt and approach dating with an open mind.
@Asker. Hi. Read this, since you seem to be having trouble. Girl-- your guy is going to watch porn... Get over it. ↗
He doesn't care if i come and will reject me when he's not in the mood. Its on HIS time and HIS pleasure.
Then he either has lowered how he feels about you and seen his role as the dominator He has become a selfish His feelings may have dwindled and it's now just sexual or at worse he is getting it elsewhere
Not all of them. Its funny- when girls gets upset about somthing a guy does its "every guy does it. Get over it." Then when a girl asks why 'every guy does xyz...' then they are a piece of shit who stereotypes. Men get defensive when generalized. But will generalize in defense.
To some extent I agree with you. I'm ok with a girl watching porn.
Not all men watch porn.
And not all fish swim. I know of one that hops and climbs trees. There are always exceptions. We don't judge all by the existence of one.
Everytime i express my dislike for porn.. i am belittled and shamed. Because i am the one with the problem and its totally okay for a man to watch other women and cum to them. Its very upsetting. Im sure I will have numerous of mean comment for this question as well.
I don’t see you as having a problem. If you never got into watching it much then yeah there’s gonna be a different mindset but that doesn’t mean you have any problems
I have watched it before. And i do not like it. And my boyfriend lies to me about not watching it and gaslights me when i do not believe him. Porn is a very valuable and non negotiable and will end in break ups and divorce if theyre unable to watch it.
Please tell us you're joking.
@Thatsamazing stop jerking off bro, you are wasting your masculine energy. Men should only cum with a woman.
My God man. Seek help.
I seek women haha not my own hand and a screen :p Women give me all the help I need haha :p
First guy to every say that.
@latarnd Yeah... it's not though.@Asker Hi. Read this, since you seem to be having trouble. Girl-- your guy is going to watch porn... Get over it. ↗
So men are totally unable to not watch porn?
An unseasonable request would be asking someone not to breathe. Because that is not a choice. Watching porn is a choice.
Men need to relieve themselves and it's not reasonable for women to provide sex to men at all times of the day. It's similar to a man telling his woman to stop using Facebook or Instagram due to unwanted attention. It's unreasonable because you're trying to change a person when this act doesn't harm anyone, and it's a private affair.
I think a sex drive that is stronger than twice a day is unreasonable. And it does harm when they reject you because porn is easier and more efficient.
You're right; it's unreasonable to have intercourse more than twice a day especially if you are working full-time. However, if your partner wants some alone time, that's not unreasonable.
He doesn't want to try new things with me, he rejects me. He prefers time alone. I hate it.
Have you sat him down and talked about why?
Nope. Because quite honestly the less I care about the relationship the less i care about them watching porn.
@Asker. Hi there. Read this, since you seem to be having trouble. Girl-- your guy is going to watch porn... Get over it. ↗
Girl-- your guy is going to watch porn... Get over it. ↗