If your partner unknowingly gave you an std, would you leave them?

[Anonymous]

I found out my partner cheated on me in the very beginning of our relationship. I’ve known this for some time now but he actually admitted it recently. We always used condoms in the beginning of our relationship but we stopped over a year ago. I keep getting UTIs so I finally got tested today. I haven’t received my results yet. I told my partner and he doesn’t think I should be angry because it wasn’t intentional. He didn’t think he could possibly have an std because he’s never had any symptoms. He cheated on me and I could possibly have an std. Am I wrong for wanting to leave him. I know he didn’t intentionally give me an std. I know in the beginning of our relationship he didn’t feel the same way that he feels about me now.

[yucychan]

I'm not sure why you are even asking this question.
Firstly, he cheated on you. That to me, is more than enough reason to leave him. I do not accept a cheating partner, most likely not even if they promised they will change and never do it again.
Secondly, because of his indiscretion, you got an STD. Yeah, he didn't mean to do it. But that doesn't make things better or mean he's faultless.
Imagine a drunk driver accidentally killing someone on the road. Sure, he didn't mean to do it. But should he be punished? Definitely.
Why do you want to be with someone like that, who just brush off their mistakes so callously like it never happened?

[Asker]

I don’t know. I don’t even have an answer.

[yucychan]

I think you need to do a self-check and ask what you really want in a relationship. Once you set the boundaries e. g. no cheating, then be firm and say "I will not tolerate that" and just leave the guy.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean, I'd have dumped his ass right as soon as I knew he'd done it. It's what I did, and I got tested right away. Even recommended the other woman (who confirmed my suspicions separately months after I'd dumped him) get tested since clearly my ex was a liar and there was no guarantee he hadn't slept around with a third/fourth/etc.

Yes, you're justified and no, you're not an asshole.

"I didn't feel like there was anything wrong" is as stupid a defense as anything on his part. He's someone who doesn't care about his own health, let alone yours. You deserve better.

[hbg84]

1. You should've left him when he cheated.
2. You got a uti that's not an std. That's a common thing when you don't go and clean yourself after sex. You should always go pee after sex as well. Drink cranberry juice that will clear up a uti in a few days.
3. If he did give you an std you should leave him. Even if it was unintentional.

[Asker]

Thankyou

[AustinMan]

I see your point. What I'm wondering is why, when you found out he'd cheated you didn't immediately go get tested? You forgave him then and getting tested was on you. Is it fair to dump him for your mistake?

[Asker]

I didn’t think I needed to. I just said he finally admitted it. I just found out for sure.

[AustinMan]

I'm not taking his side but it seems to me the prudent thing to do is to get tested even if you just suspect. There's no downside to getting tested.

[Asker]

I was underage. I couldn’t !

[AustinMan]

Your parents didn't know you were sexually active? I understand if that's true but if they knew, why not get tested?

[Asker]

Of course they don’t know ! I wanted him to get tested just in case.

[MissDawn7961]

that is what one gets for having sex without being married to them first ! thanks

[Asker]

This doesn’t help me? Who are you to judge me?

[Asker]

You say that like married people can’t get an STD... your statement makes no sense.

[hbg84]

Oh sweety, married people who are faithful to each other don't just get STDs randomly.

[Asker]

@hbg84 not everyone is faithful now are they. They could have an std before they even got in the relationship.

[SomeGirl88]

It wasn't intentional but it was careless and selfish. If he actually cared about you he would have never cheated in the first place. Regardless, he should of continued to use protection knowing he was sexually active with another woman.

[Asker]

Thankyou

[Ripper_E]

Yes I would.

[COMMODOREII]

I dont think its wrong. If you feel offended and you can't trust him then you should leave him.