Guys, when you have sex with a girl, do you hurt her by doing these unpleasant actions?

1. During sexual intercourse, grabbing/ holding her legs so hard that she had get bruises or her leg muscles hurt. You hold her legs so tight so she won’t move away from you when humping her.
2. During humping when you’re on the top of a girl she cannot breathe properly any more. She makes squeaky noises.
3. Penetrating her when she is not wet at all.
4. When she is busy with something, grabbing her whole body to take her to bed BUT she protests by grabbing the doors and walls not to go to bed.
5. when there are no contraceptions available, ask her to have sex with her and she is afraid of pregnancy.
6. still continue doing sex because you have to come/ ejaculate.

My fiance does all the acts, I wonder if marriage would improve the communication when it comes to sex. He also found me too panicky when I was scared that I may pregnant and our family is against sex before marriage so imagine the shame 😔 and I don’t want to get pregnant right now.
When planning a family, he says he wants to have a baby boy because a boy can be more meaningful than a girl. He can earn money while a girl cannot have a proper job, he claims. Girls aren’t that smart, he says. But I said that I have a proper education myself he said some women are smart but most of them are not smart, he claimed. He probably joked a little but I found his statements too harsh.
Lately, I have just lost my libido and I don’t enjoy sex and I don’t feel horny when he does all these sexual actions.

So by asking these questions, I want to know if this sexual relationship is normal. I used to feel horny but my libido is all gone now.
Updates:
+1 y
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you soo much for your comments. And I have made a decision.. I am not going to marry this guy. He is a brainwashing idiot who also did make me feel guilty for not wanting sex. It is better to have a respectful boyfriend who wouldn't marry you than an aggressive husband.
+1 y
I have seen all messages and I take your advices. I will look for another decent proper man - not right now. First, I have to break off the engagement. And then try to focus on my recovery because my libido is super low.
0 3

Superb Opinion

  • Only if she enjoys those things... (that's mostly a joke, but there's some truth in it too).

    Honestly, though, this guy seems pretty selfish and self-centered, and not doing a lot to give YOU pleasure, and is mostly just taking pleasure for himself. And, no, marriage will not improve the communication! If anything, it will lead to him taking you even more for granted. These are problems that you need to resolve NOW, and in my opinion, if you can't, then you absolutely should not marry him, or even continue to be with him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Run away! Run quickly away!
    You are not comfortable with his heavy-handed kinks. It sounds like you are crying out for help here. You lost your libido: it sounds like you are scared when it comes to sex. I don't think that this type of BDSM is what you want.
    I do understand that some people get turned on sexually from being tortured, and brought into fear. I don't think you are that person. I don't think that you have discussed this BDSM play with him, and you haven't established your limits or safewords.
    Your man has no respect for women. He handles you like a toy: you feel like you are being abused. Marriage will not change things: things may get rougher.
    Good luck.
    (I am available on PM, if you wish to talk. Just let me know that you are from this post)
    [I wrote this without reading the other responses]

Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel bad for the daughter you’re going to have with him. He’s already treating you this badly during sex and all but still I’m sure you won’t take our advice. Marry someone who has respect for other human beings! Boy or girl! I feel bad for the son he want to have too. Your fiancé is seriously in need of help!

    • Good luck dear. Hope you find someone better

  • You are engaged to an adult with special needs, right?

    • Do you mean he is too selfish?

    • No, I mean he is a fucking idiot.

    • Most guys are selfish in bed. This guy has no idea what the hell he is doing, refuses to communicate with you, and doesn't understand the most basic aspects of having sex, or even how female anatomy works.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 24
  • That is not normal at all. Dudes can be dominant but what you describe is borderline sexual assault/rape. He is also a male chauvinist when he talks about women. I wouldn't be engaged with someone like this.

    • Congratulations girl!! Good luck in the future and I wish you all the goods in life! :)

  • Girl, your guy has no respect for you.

  • Your fiance is a completely inconsiderate lover and he's sexist and disrespectful. "Girls aren't that smart" -- that includes you. And what do you imagine will happen if you produce a daughter?

    No, this is not normal. Get the hell out and find someone capable of giving love.

  • No I don't enjoy giving others pain.

  • OMFG NO these are all abusive rape! These need to be all taught in school as NOT appropriate!

  • Why would I want to hurt a girl who undressed for me. I think your relationship has no future and will end in sorrow. You might as well end it now.

  • Nope, I'm gentle as a big pussycat

    Guys, when you have sex with a girl, do you hurt her by doing these unpleasant actions?
  • That sounds abusive tbh.
    You should want to have sex with him, this situation is not ok

  • Oh honey!! You need to get away from him. He sounds like a rapist. He's not there type of man you want to start a family with

  • Sounds like a bad situation to me
    If I had to answer I'd say maybe you should be with someone who will listen and talk with you

  • NO, marriage will NOT automatically improve the communication. And as it stands, I don't even think you should get married to this guy at all. I think you should break up with him. He does NOT sound like a good partner.

    • He really doesn't honestly. He sounds like a terrible person actually and im certain that everyone in the comments feels that you need dump his crazy ass ASAP

    • @FriendlyEnigma you are right

  • Sex is enjoyment and strengthening bond. Guy must be polite, caring and desist from hurting girl during sex because it is not "wild" rather cruel sex which takes away pleasure from girl. It is punishment, not exciting sex.

  • Dude your fiance sounds fucked up.. i honestly dont think he is a good person in general.. in fact if he did those things to anyone else, he'd prolly be in jail by now

  • No, that is not normal and you need to leave that relationship as soon as you possibly can.

  • Ask him to give you a safe word. So that he knows to back off. I like bdsm and "torturing" my girl in bed but if she is really hurting and wants me to stop or at least slow down, she can let me know, even if she is gagged. This way, even a 'no' becomes a 'yes please'.

  • That is not a normal relationship at all.

    • Good luck to you. There is hope for you don't give up. *hugs* 💓💓

  • If your having these issues with ur partner y'all need to have a talk cause it's not normal

  • None of what you said should happen more than once, preferably never. If they so, you should break up because of communication isn't fixing it now, marriage won't change it.

  • Looks like you need to meet guys that treat women a lot better than that

  • No that’s barbarous if it’s not consensual. One girlfriend of mine wanted me to choke her. I could only have my hands on her neck so she dumped me.

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