My boyfriend likes saying dirty stuff during sex that he thinks will turn me on? He said " I will let all my friends fuck you". Did he overstep?

[Anonymous]

He is always like slapping me and choking me and stuff like that. Recently he has been saying stuff that is really disrespectful. He even said he would have me lick his boots

Do you think it is normal to say stuff like that during sex and shouldn't be taken seriously or it is disrespectful and I should break up.

What should I do?

[MrOracle]

Why are you not communicating with him? All the stuff he's doing is great - IF you are into it, but clearly you aren't. If you don't say anything, how is he going to know what you like and don't like? My guess is that girls he's been with previously loved that stuff, and so he just assumes that most girls do, and he's also pushing things to see if something in particular gets you really turned on.

But that's where communication comes in: you have to TELL HIM how you feel and what you want and like - and what you don't want and what is off the table. It's a two-way street and you have a job to do just like everyone else. Good sex cannot happen in the absence of communication.

[IronLady6354]

It is extremely disrespectful. My fiancé and I enjoy rough sex and talking dirty during sex. However, a big part of what makes rough sex and dirty talk so fun is that you feel very wanted/sexually desired by your partner. For example, he’ll talk about how when my boobs bounce it makes him super hard. That kind of bedroom talk is normal. Talk that makes you feel degraded is not (at least it’s not normal with the kind of men you want to be with).
Talk with him and tell him he needs to stop disrespecting you both physically and verbally in and out of the bedroom. If he doesn’t do that break up with him. There are plenty of other men out there who will treat you with love and respect in and out of the bedroom. You don’t need to waste your time with him

[jadedgirl89]

If it's really bothering you then speak to him about it... sex is about both of you.. If it's true that he's just wanting to make the experience good for you then he would stop it pretty quickly

[Anonymous]

Well, everything is ok between consenting adults but that isn't normal in the sense of being common.

I have dark interests myself but i dont have any like that, its a bit strong and to be frank its really not ok to be doing shit like that without talking to you about it first.

He thinks he is a dom but the reality is that he is a little boy who has no respect, not because of what he says or what his interests are but because he couldnt be honest and open and talk with you about it first.

He has no interest in gaining your consent and i dont think he would take no for an answer and nothing about that is ok.

I think you should view it as a red flag and walk out the door, if you like sex like that, fine, do it with a grown up.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then get the fuck out of that relationship right now and never see him ever again. What the actual fuck? Also if you ever said no or stop and he didn't report that to the police.

[cheapshotbob]

you can't really hold a guy accountable for what he says during sex , he will say he eats dog food and sleeps in the words with how euphoric he will feel XD
dont take it to serious lol.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is there any reason for him to erroneously believe that talk might get you aroused? Any reason for him to know you hate it?

[ettubrutus]

Sounds like he watches a bit too much porn and is trying hard to be dominating during sex. If you aren't into it you should talk to him about it and find out why he does it.

[Shiome223]

Ummmmm yea

[slatyb]

You should tell him how you feel when he seats things like that. These are realizable fantasies but you don't have to submit to them.

[jshm2]

Well... if it's something just started then he probably thinks the sex is a bit vanilla and wants to add some spice. You can just tell him you're not into the bad chat or join in to insult him back.

If it's something he's been doing for a while, then it's more difficult as he probably gets off on the humiliation, as much as the sex.

Either way, if he's otherwise abuse, then it's time to ditch him to the curb and move on.

[jkm1864]

You just got a hint that He doesn't respect You.

[_SOARER]

He is a weirdo and a fag who has watched too much porn
The fact women put up with this disrespect and some even enjoy it just shows how far we have fallen

[Thatsamazing]

If you're not into it, talk to him about it and tell him that you're not into it. Just say "hey look, there's something I want to talk to you about, is that okay?" And then just patiently say what's on your mind. It's not disrespectful, it's just a kink he has, but if it's not one you share, then just tell him so. But if it doesn't bother you as long as it's not an issue of disrespect-- and it likely isn't-- then you don't need to tell him anything. It's up to you.

[AcidT0y]

Have you told him you don't like it? If you have and he still does it then best break up.

[sharkyfish71]

Unless you like it I would just tell him to stop

[asshole_]

if you think he did, sure

[LaMiSch]

Thats not normal, i would Talk to him...

[JM20022018]

In my my opinion he is crossing limits u should be careful or breakup with him
And don't come into toxic relationships

[CubaPirate]

Yep there's a line and he just crossed it. Time to tell him buck up or ship out

[postaldudePL123]

It's time to break up.

That is way beyond the line. He must apologize for this.

But It's still upto you if you really want to stay.

[latarnd]

Yea I mean I'd let him know you didn't like it first so you don't blindside him. He might think you like it I don't know

[Pliskin55]

dirty talk is retarded

wtf did you expect?

[gandolph3]

you both need to find someone new

[joshtheman]

I think he did

[Rich3610]

Based on your feeling that his comments are disrespectful, yes, he overstepped big time. Have you told him that you feel disrespected? If yes and he continues to say these things, I would drop him like a bad habit. I also have to address the slapping and choking. My wife and I mutually love it when she slaps and strangles me during sex, but we talk about all these things before trying them. If either of us are not comfortable with it, we don’t do it! Did you give him your consent and permission to slap and choke you? If not, again, that is a unequivocal deal breaker, and you should toss him out on his a**! A woman deserves respect from her partner, and there are plenty of men out there who will gladly give it to you unconditionally, and without you having to ask for it! Please be safe. My guy “spidey senses” tell me your partner is abusive, and could escalate the violence.