Is kissing necessary?

Question

Is kissing, either during foreplay or sex, necessary to have a pleasurable experience?

Updates:

8 mo

Another question comes to mind. Do any of you have make out sessions with your partner, even after many years of marriage? I was wondering as I thought this type of thing would be done dating.

Answer 1

Anonymous

Often yes. However if you’re both in the mood you could have an aggressive quickie doggystyle with no kissing.

Answer 2

Drumlin2001 | 2.8K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Yes. I'd have thought in 88 years you would have experienced the joy of it.

Asker

8 mo
Thanks for the reply.

I will change this typo error saying I am 88! I am 50 and still a virgin (completely true)

Nearly all my life I have OCD issues relating to the idea of sexual intimacy, in particular the idea of exchanging saliva during kissing. This is the reason I am still a virgin. With my parents that I live with who perhaps do not have many years left to live, the idea of marriage has become more attractive to beat the misery of loneliness.

However. I want to see if it is practical to marry (i. e. with no kissing) given my psychological issue.

I am ok with the idea of oral sex if I wore a condom (I would hate the idea of my semen coming directly in to her mouth) and I have just read only a few minutes ago that the clitoris is not part of the vagina, and hence ejaculation does not come from there, and therefore no contact of fluid would be made with my mouth. Until now I have had no idea where the clitoris is in relation to the vagina.
I know, I have led a very sheltered life!

Thanks again for your interest. I appreciate it if you could get back to me.
Drumlin2001

8 mo
I was a 35 yr old virgin. I had given up hope of a relationship (different reasons to you, but very engrained). In the kast 3 years i've changed a lot, had 2 relationships (been with girlfriend for 2 years now, we have a son (had given up on idea of kids)).
I think it may be difficult to sustain relationship with restrictions you've spoken about. Intamacy isn't everything in a relationship but it is important. But every woman is different, there maybe one out there who will be happy with that.
Have you ever sought advice or help for your OCD?
Asker

8 mo
Thanks again for replying. I am glad you family life is going well.

My reply here is long, but I got on a roll!

Few women would be happy with a marriage avoiding kissing, I agree. If I found a wife, I know it would be unfair on her to expect this.

I have had a lot of help on this issue, but it persists (it started around age 18). It has reduced over time, but it is still there. It has a feedback effect on sociability: the more you withdraw from challenging situations so as to avoid experiencing a potential trigger reaction, the more unsociable you become. In turn, the more unsociable you become, the more you withdraw, and so on... With OCD, the issue of consistency and having a plausible explanation for something is vital. For instance, someone spits at a person. Your (generic your) response: you get angry at this repulsive act and you want to possibly punch them. Yet passionate kissing with your mouths open is exchanging spit. There is no other way of putting it, with all the various bacteria exchanges involved, both good and bad. Why is the first situation not ok and the other one is? I am frustrated at the lack of consistency. Other OCD people, I am sure, must feel the same way.

Answer 3

Asker

Thanks for the reply.

I will change this typo error saying I am 88! I am 50 and still a virgin (completely true)

Nearly all my life I have OCD issues relating to the idea of sexual intimacy, in particular the idea of exchanging saliva during kissing. This is the reason I am still a virgin. With my parents that I live with who perhaps do not have many years left to live, the idea of marriage has become more attractive to beat the misery of loneliness.

However. I want to see if it is practical to marry (i. e. with no kissing) given my psychological issue.

I am ok with the idea of oral sex if I wore a condom (I would hate the idea of my semen coming directly in to her mouth) and I have just read only a few minutes ago that the clitoris is not part of the vagina, and hence ejaculation does not come from there, and therefore no contact of fluid would be made with my mouth. Until now I have had no idea where the clitoris is in relation to the vagina.
I know, I have led a very sheltered life!

Thanks again for your interest. I appreciate it if you could get back to me.

Answer 4

Drumlin2001

I was a 35 yr old virgin. I had given up hope of a relationship (different reasons to you, but very engrained). In the kast 3 years i've changed a lot, had 2 relationships (been with girlfriend for 2 years now, we have a son (had given up on idea of kids)).
I think it may be difficult to sustain relationship with restrictions you've spoken about. Intamacy isn't everything in a relationship but it is important. But every woman is different, there maybe one out there who will be happy with that.
Have you ever sought advice or help for your OCD?

Answer 5

Asker

Thanks again for replying. I am glad you family life is going well.

My reply here is long, but I got on a roll!

Few women would be happy with a marriage avoiding kissing, I agree. If I found a wife, I know it would be unfair on her to expect this.

I have had a lot of help on this issue, but it persists (it started around age 18). It has reduced over time, but it is still there. It has a feedback effect on sociability: the more you withdraw from challenging situations so as to avoid experiencing a potential trigger reaction, the more unsociable you become. In turn, the more unsociable you become, the more you withdraw, and so on... With OCD, the issue of consistency and having a plausible explanation for something is vital. For instance, someone spits at a person. Your (generic your) response: you get angry at this repulsive act and you want to possibly punch them. Yet passionate kissing with your mouths open is exchanging spit. There is no other way of putting it, with all the various bacteria exchanges involved, both good and bad. Why is the first situation not ok and the other one is? I am frustrated at the lack of consistency. Other OCD people, I am sure, must feel the same way.

Answer 6

Via_8662

Xper 5

I suppose it's not necessary, but I definitely prefer it.

Answer 7

Mikyjoy24

Xper 1

Yes, it is. It mkaes your partner more on towards your feelings, makes them build good bonding for further acts.

Answer 8

Anonymous

Yeah it definitely makes it better and more passionate

Asker

8 mo
Thanks for the reply. My question is whether it is necessary? Can sufficiency pleasure be got from avoiding it?
Opinion Owner

8 mo
I need it or it would feel like something is missing