Sexual Relationships
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Was this r*pe or sexual assault?

All r*pes are sexual assaults but not all sexual assaults are r*pes. Was it just assault or did he rape me? almost a year ago i have my first blowjob and i thought he was 17 but turns out he lied, he was 19. i was 14. I only consented yo performing oral sex on a 17 year old boy, not a 19 year old man. it just came to mind today, it happened kinda long ago so I don't know why it just came to mind but now i can’t stop thinking about it and i’m really upset. i think i was raped.
It was r*pe.
Vote A
It was sexual assault.
Vote B
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Girl Guy
1 0

Superb Opinion

  • So in the UK its not actually called rape because that is relating to both parties being over 18 this is a specific child sex offence and being 17 or 19 changes things a lot because being over 18 is written into the laws its different if he was under 18 but i didn't look that up.

    So the key point of it seems to be whether he knew you were under age or not, the phrase is something like 'could reasonably considered to have known you were under 16 etc'. There is a further distinction for under 13 also.

    As far as the law is concerned you are unable to give consent so if you want to take some kind of legal action against him you can do that.

    Just make sure you are honest about what happened because the penalties are serious and its not fair to lie etc.

    I believe the age of consent in some places is 14 so it would depend on the laws in your particular country.

    I think it is 18 in the States.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the difference between sexual assault and rape is that rape involves the penis. (But I could be wrong.)

    But regarding your situation, what that guy did was rape. I'm very sorry that happened to you.

    • thank you. i needed confirmation on what it was, i want to be able to feel better properly and not lie to myself. i was sure it was rape but i needed confirmation. i can’t heal by lying to myself. i can’t stop thinking about it

    • You're welcome. And again I'm sorry. I'm you're able to find the support you need to get through this situation.

    • Sorry; "I hope" (typo)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Where I live there is a legal clause called statutory rape meaning if two people of significantly different ages or maturity levels are in a relationship - the person who is older will be classified as a rapist by virtue of his age maturity and life experience and emotional inequality with the much younger person

  • Why you hung up on couple years? If you liked him and wanted to do it, then ya hope you liked it. Time to let it go. A small detail like that over you giving head is not enough to even worry about it unless he forced you to do it. I don't think he did. You wanted to do it. So, all is fine.

    • it wasn’t years ago it was almost a year ago but by that i mean less than a year.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 16

  • Statutory rape

  • I by accidentally clicked “rape”. It’s not rape,

  • Legal definition is "stagitory (I don't know if im spelling that right) rape" but you did it willingly. Ik not to a 19 year old but still. Legally, rape yes.

  • The answer depends on the law at the place where it occurred. Laws vary between countries and between states within the US.

  • No. You were attracted to him and wanted to do shit with him so what’s your problem now? Just that he was two years older than what he said? Seriously that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. He didn’t forcefully get you to do anything.

    • internalized misogyny much? that’s gotta be why you’re talking to me so rudely. I don't know what else it could be. don’t say it’s stupid girl me to be asking this, i cannot stop thinking about it and i’m seriously upset. i want to feel better properly without lying to myself. i now realize and know for a fact it was rape. and it doesn’t matter if he didn’t force me to, i didn’t consent to that. rape is sex without consent. i only consented to oral sex with a BOY. not a MAN. he lied and KNEW THAT I WAS ONLY 14. i never wanted to blow a grown ass adult

    • 19 is a boy. Law doesn’t decide what a boy is. I could say you were a woman at 14 ready to have kids. I’m sure you reached the age of menarche way before 14. Doesn’t matter if he said he was 17 and was actually 40. You were attracted to him enough to suck his dick so suck it up you chose to do it.

    • are you stupid? rape is “ unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim“. i thought he was underage (under the age to be considered an adult, he would be over the age of consent even at 17 but not an adult so it would be ok) as well. however, he wasn’t. he was a grown man. he was an adult. he lied to me. and you’re defending him? so you’re saying it would be ok if he was actually 40, too? wtf?

  • Is it neither.

    • what is it then

  • He shouldn't have lied obviously, but why does the age difference matter to you? Why do you see it as assault/rape?

    • because i didn’t consent oral sex with a grown ass man.

    • Did he dress or act differently? If not then the fact that he was 19 and not 17 like he said he was, doesn't change who he is as a person, and let me tell you, a 2 year period is not enough to turn a boy into a man. Now like I said, he shouldn't have lied and I understand why you'd feel violated, because he did take advantage of you. But it's not rape and it's not assault. You could maybe argue that it is from a legal standpoint, I couldn't say, but morally speaking, no.

  • no you were taken advantage of, its not rape

  • It's satuatary rape of whatever it's called but you did it ans weren't forced.

  • If you fucked him it would be statutory rape

  • If he entered you with his penis, it's rape. But just fingering is sexual assault...

    • i never said he fingered me

    • Like I said for it to be rape he would have to put his penis in you. But by your discription it's sexual assault...

    • rape is “ unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.”

    • Show All

  • Did he penetrate you at anytime?

    • did you not read the part about how it was a blowjob. that’s oral penetration

    • First of all you accepted the bj. And didn't know his age till after. Was it just the bj? M

    • yes it was just the bj, but i only was ok with doing it with a BOY. NOT A MAN

    • Show All

  • It was statutory rape, because you couldn't legally consent. Depending on the age in your area it may have been even if he was actually 17.

  • Nope

  • In you case it's rape.. even if he was 17 and not 19 it would have been rape. That's because at 14 you are not legally old enough to give consent for any sexual act.

  • It wasn't rape it was illegal consensual sex

    • that’s what rape is

  • Neither

  • Regardless of what you choose to call it, forgiveness on YOUR part, as well as repentance and asking God's forgiveness on HIS part... is the key to everyone feeling better about what happened

  • Statutory rape.

    • Hello

    • @Sexyguysex Hi?

    • Can you hit me uo

    • Show All

  • It was neither. You make poor choices.

    • nice victim blaming. did your mom abandon you or something? 😸

    • Don’t give me that “victim blaming” bullshit. Take some god damn responsibility for yourself and your poor ass choices. You are “strong and independent” after all. Act like it.

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