Are there people like me out there?

Question

I’ve had sex only once when I was 18 and in the 8 years that have passed I’ve never done it again due to lack of “game”. Is there more people like me out there or am I just a freak. I know sex isn’t everything but I’m only human and deep down I desire companionship

Answer 1

MrOracle | 13.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Influencer

Chances are you don't lack "game" - you lack PRACTICE. Most guys in your situation (and there are tens of millions in the US alone) are like baseball players who refuse to ever train or go to batting practice - and then, they get put into a game once in a while, and when it's their turn at bat, they couldn't hit a ball to save their own life - they're completely unprepared to face a major league pitcher.

Well, DUH. There's a REASON why professional athletes train nearly every day, and attend batting practice every day even if they are already good at it. If you never train and never practice, how could you possibly be good at something?

There are guys who "seem" to have it easy with women, and, yes, sometimes that because of their looks. But sometimes they're average-looking guys, but those guys never seem to be single. Why? It isn't magic, it's EFFORT. When they're single, they come home after work, take a shower, put on some nice clothes, and they go out and meet people. And I don't just mean at singles bars - I mean at movie theaters, restaurants, grocery stores, out walking - whatever. But those guys will walk up and strike up conversations with 3-10 girls in a night, and most of them will be taken, or will be weirdos, or will reject him, but after 2-3 nights of this, he's usually going to get a "yes" answer, and so it isn't long at all before he's dating.

I'm guessing a guy like that approaches more women in a week than you do in a year - perhaps more than you do in several years. And, remember, he gets rejected a LOT, for a variety of reasons, but he invests just a single 10-minute conversation in them, and so a rejection is hardly the end of the world. He doesn't see a girl, decides he's interested, and then spend the next 3 months figuring out how to talk to her - he just talks to her immediately, and in that conversation, he finds out what he needs to know. Gets rejected? No big deal - he's on to the next one.

If you want to get women and have relationships or just sex, then you have to date, and you can't date if you aren't approaching women and talking to them. The hypothetical guy I was talking about does well because he MAKES THE EFFORT and he knows WHAT to invest in them (just a conversation, at least initially) before asking them out. If you follow that example, your success rate will shoot way up, and your periods of being alone will dry up. If you only talk to 2-3 girls a year, then it might be 10 years before you get a "yes" because you lack practice. His way takes more effort, but definitely reaps more rewards.

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Answer 2

summiter | 14.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

You are not a freak. Get back in the game by changing your social life. Get a haircut.. maybe shave... exercise get involved with things/projects or groups/clubs that girls attend.

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Answer 3

SueShe | 5.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

It is not uncommon at all by all means.

A great number of people do not have intercourse at that age and they don't feel as if they are missing out on anything.

Also, you are very right when you state that sex is not everything. I have been preaching this long enough as there are so many much more important things in a relation than intimacy.

But you mention companionship. You realize that companionship does NOT mean that there is sexual intercourse, right? Companionship is basically limited to having someone to be with.

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