Obviously, fantasies can arise years down the road, but in my opinion, you should share anything that you feel has any power on you - anything you have a real desire for. If it's something that you think "eh, that might be fun to do, but no big deal" then you probably don't need to share that, but if it's something you feel "I so want to do that, and I've GOT to make it happen!", then that's potentially able to become an issue, and so that should be shared.
To be even more broad, you are obligated to share anything and everything about yourself that is outside of the mainstream. That means you probably don't need to mention your love of doggy style or BJs, but if you have a foot fetish, or you are a fem dom (or need a fem dom), or you are big into group sex or pee play or whatever, then you need to let your partner know about that. Likewise, if you have serious debt, or a medical condition, or have survived sexual abuse, or you have a major family obligation, or a criminal record, or anything out of the mainstream, you should disclose that. If you are hiding that kind of information from your partner, you are being dishonest, and are thus not worthy of trust.
very well said
That's a really great question. My answer to that is this:. I think that, before marriage, you should lay out on the table all of the sexual things that you really really want to do at least some time during your life together. And each person should be completely honest, but each person should also have an open mind and not be judgmental. And hopefully nothing will be a deal-breaker. (If it is, then you obviously have the option of calling off the engagement -- if it's THAT important to you.) However, here's the caveat: if there's something that you want to do but it's not make or break, I don't think you necessarily have to mention it before the wedding. If you want to take a gamble on it, it's your call. Like I said, it's something that you could live with or live without; it's not that big of a deal. Therefore, the stakes are low. So, say you bring it up after the 15th wedding anniversary. And maybe she says yes. Great! But maybe she says no. If she says no, it's not like you're going to get divorced over it or find somebody to cheat with. Because, like I said, it really doesn't matter. We're talking about the small things that are not "do or die" propositions.
At the end of the day, it's only the big things that matter. Think of it this way: If you never get the chance to try out that fantasy, are you going to be disappointed? Are you going to feel like you are missing out? Then mention it. But if not? Then you don't have to mention it, because it's just not that important.
Thanks for the MHO.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!You should only disclose the fantasies that you are obsessed with and actually intend to act out. In that case, give your partner a chance to run away and run fast. But there isn't any reason to confess every weird fantasy you have ever had.
I would say if you have got as far as wanting to get married you've probably already reached the stage of knowing if your fantasy would be accepted.
Most people will decide if it's : -
A) to wild for anyone elso to enjoy.
B) safe to discuss with your partner in some way but unlikely to experience it.
C) something probably already done.
You are desperately in need of Buck Wild's sexual education course. Right now you can take advantage of a coupon and enroll for just $99.95 or whatever the equivalent is in your stupid currency. I also accept non badger flavored meat pies as payment.
I think it depends on how taboo the fantasy is. If it`s nothing that would shock to much then yes mention it before, but if it`s something that wouldn't go down very well, then keep it to yourself and maybe even never mention it
Considering most people are vanilla that's futile either way. Best to tell after a few dates. Id find it hard to believe a girl won't find out mine as I express my emotions 🤦
I would say yes for sure. Because if your truly comfortable with that person you would have no worry to not tell them. And if your getting married when your not comfortable with your partner to tell them things you shouldn't get married. My bestfriend knows all mine and that's just because i am comfortable with her and know she wouldn't judge me for mine and i have weird ones lol.
However i wouldn't be upset if they didn't tell me. And new fetishes may come along later anyway.
Yes, it would at least clean up so many future incompatibilities.
Key word would be fantasy (Not Real) so it really wouldn't matter. Such as I can fantasize about having sex with a 50 foot woman however even if a 50 foot woman existed odds are I really wouldn't do so.
Might be some things are best kept to ourselves.
My girlfriend and I talk about gerting married and having kids. We know about each others kinks and fantasies now and we're enjoying ourselves. So i guess its good to discuss it.
lol great example there :) Mr Oracle says it well... I'll just add in some cases there is a blurred line between a fantasy and one's sexuality... my wife didn't know I was bi when we got married because I hadn't realized it yet... there was some lingering thoughts back then but no way I'd be talking about them with her... could hardly talk with myself about it at the time... but, in time, I came to realize I was - and really always had been - bisexual... and it's been a journey since telling her...
That all said and over-shared... I do think fantasies are good to talk about as many of them are often best kept as fantasies - maybe explored with your partner via porn... but some fantasies can be fun to mix into a relationship - especially one that spans decades. Without variety of all sorts, fucking the same person for 25+ years would likely get routine/boring/etc no matter how much love there was :)
Sometimes they're just new ones. ;)
And you NEVER disclose everything. EVER. Don't over-share.
yes. simply put, some such things can be a complete deal breaker and should be out there before a wedding
Yeah, this is definitely the kind of thing that people should know about each other before they get married. There will always be something that you forgot to ask about, no matter how much you try to find out, but you should be as thorough as possible and definitely include things like this.
Totally. I would disclose to my woman. Mine would be pretty straight forward. But if she says she wants certain things, i'd part ways with her.
Some of them, yes. Definitely not the one above. Damn...
That depends on how crappy the partner is at yuking someone else's yum
You married them, don't be a jerk.
Black.. transsexual.. midget... am i on acid?
Yes, because you forgot the school girl outfit in the question.
@NYCQuestions1976 aw shit you right bro
Yes, I think fantasies should be spoke about before marriage.
LOL. Honestly, I do.
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