Why won’t the boyfriend let me hook up with other women 👿?

Question

He doesn’t want me to sleep with other women. I don’t understand it. It’s better than cheating on him. Don’t you think?

LesterJester · Accepted Answer

You want to have sexual relations with another person other than your partner, while still being with your partner.

The gender is irrelevant. Whether you perform oral sex on a female or oral sex on a male, it's still oral sex, isn't it? Thus, having sex with the same gender or the opposite gender is still sex.

If you want to be fair about things, then you can stay together and go have sex with another female, and he can go have sex with you and another person of their choosing. Then you both have two sexual partners.

Now I've heard the old argument that it's fair that you get to have him and another girl if he gets you and goes with another guy... But it doesn't work like that, because it's about sexual attraction and pleasure.

I imagine you have sexual attraction to both your partner and whatever girl is in question, and I bet you'd get pleasure from both experiences. But if he is like myself, he'd have zero sexual attraction towards another guy and it would be damn impossible to find any pleasure in such an experience, therefore it doesn't equate.

So it simply boils down to whether you're willing to let your guy go have sex with another girl and yourself, or not. If that thought bothers you, then now you understand why it bothers him. If that bothers you yet you still think you're in your right to go have sex with someone else, regardless of the genitals involved, then you're being a hypocrite.

And if you think this is a better alternative than cheating, then it sounds like cheating is on the table if you don't get what you want. That leads to being untrustworthy and since you need trust in order for a relationship to work, then this relationship is doomed to eventual failure and you might as well end it now and have some respect for him and for yourself.

Look, if you like guys and girls, I don't judge, that's just the way it is, and at least you're being honest with him. But it also doesn't give you a free pass to sleep with someone other than your partner unless that's been discussed and agreed upon. You can't expect to have your cake and eat it too, while there's zero compromise for your partner letting you do this. You're getting an additional sexual partner. You're having sex with him and then some other girl, while he sits on the sidelines waiting for you to be ready to have sex with him again while also getting satisfied by someone else.

And you don't see why this might bother him?

Bottom line is you either stick with the guy you're with like he sticks with you, or you get another sexual partner and he does too... Or you end it and look for a more compatible relationship.

Based on current information, there's nothing fair about what you want to do and he has every right to have issues.

Dargil · Accepted Answer

Welcome to Trollhattan. Women are not exempt.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Because it's still cheating! Whether it's a male or female and intimate sex acts performed with anyone OTHER than your partner. If you wanna hook up with others, why even be in a relationship. Or in one which someone who's not okay with that?

CreepyCute · Accepted Answer

I suppose some people just prefer monogamy. Perhaps if you're into doing things with people outside your relationship, you need someone open to that too.

Bad_Man55 · Answer

I mean that is cheating in a sense right? You are being physically intimate with another person. I can see his issue.

jestergent · Answer

How dare you (he).

Ripper_E · Answer

If your desire for other women is so strong you would cheat on him, then you shouldn't be in a relationship.

wondering_guy · Answer

It's still cheating as your ur still sleeping with another person, guys may like lesbians but sometimes it can make them feel insecure if it's their girlfriend doing it

Nalix · Answer

How would you feel about him hooking up with other men?

startingfitness · Answer

thats still cheating.  not as bad as a man, but its still cheating.

dac91 · Answer

Because he doesn't her to join and now a day females are leaving their man for a woman

yt1173 · Answer

Invite him to have a threesome. It's the dream of every man to have a threesome. Trust me it'll definitely work. Plus you'll get both the things you like at once.