Sexual Relationships
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Why are women empowered for being promisquous but men looking for sexual validation are shamed?

women always complain about slut shaming, yet everywhere they are encouraged to go fuck around or post slutty pictures on instagram, begging for sexual validiation, buy dildos: you go girl. meanwhile men who do the are considered fuckboys/players and basically assholes who are not worth your time and if they get a sextoy, they're considered pathetic losers. so who really is slut shamed in this society? i think it's men. i mean we still have that stereotype that men never want more than just sex.

you're free to disagree with this. if you do, respectfully articulate why you think i'm wrong.
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Superb Opinion

  • I don't know if this is the case in general or not. Despite you viewing it this lopsided way, I doubt that men are slut-shamed anywhere even close to woman, and I think the majority of people would agree.
    I mean you make some bold assertions -- Who's encouraging these woman to fuck around & post slutty pictures? -- Who's considering men pathetic losers and assholes if they get a sextoy? Those seem very subjective. I don't think generally either one of those claims is accurate, and think it's actually quite the opposite.

    Maybe it boils down to a personal experience coloring your viewpoint on this, like a 'can't see the forest for the trees' kinda thing -- I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

    • i intentionally put it that way. i know women do get a fair bit of slut shaming but i wanted to compensate a bit for the blatant ignorance of stigma for male sexuality that absolutely does exist by putting a bit too much emphasis on it. it's a good question to ask who's actuall slut shaming and i think you're right by insinuating that we just shouldn't give a shit about those people saying those things but i do think they still have a big influence. i mean i don't know about you but pretty much all the women i ever dated were super affraid i just want sex like "all the other dudes" and i'm like "what guy you ever dated just wanted sex" and the answer is usually "well you know what people say". i know girls get a fair bit of slutshaming. i think we should all stop panic about eventually arriving at a sodom and gomorrah. the fear of moral degradation and sexual repression helps neither gender :) so what do you think about guys who are a bit insecure and sexually thirsty trying to get laid for validation? do you have sympathy for those or do you look down on them a bit if you're honest?

    • You don't see male "slut shaming" because nomenclature changes to fit the gender norms. Men are pigs, fuckbois, pedophiles if they dare find 16 year olds attractive, etc. The range of sexual practices considered acceptable for a man is actually quite narrow, so much so that many common sexual proclivities that are overwhelmingly male-dominated are considered "deviant," some of them even being against the law. Before you think, "Well, that was illegal so it doesn't count!" You know what else was illegal in our society? Adultery, especially for women. Female infidelity was for a very long time perceived as one of the greatest social ills imaginable, even worse than an old man marrying a prepubescent child! Religious texts and Medieval art are loaded with folklore about the supposed dangers of female sexuality. You would agree that such a society was one repressive of women's sexuality, right? Well... if you were to ask that same question to somebody from that era, they would probably disagree emphatically because it's totally normal to them! We are heavily biased by the status quo we're raised in, and we're unlikely to consider what a different set of rules might look like.

    • @DonCachondo man it is just so refreshing to read well articulated responses on here xD it's often looked down on the fact, that men would like to have a harem of women they can have sex with and not be exclusive, when that is actualy the most efficient way to spread genes to speed up mutation and facilitate evolution, which all beings are geneticaly programmed to naturally do. somehow we're blaming men for how they naturally just are and keep ignoring how much they deviate from their natural programming in favor of women already. they naturally wanna fuck as many and as young women (male genes are not programmed to care for an arbitrarily decided age of consent but rather for "fertility") as they can and i think that male natural is actually way more repressed than the female natural, who prefers to stick to one partner that helps raising the child while providing for her and the child, which in recent years is luckily a bit in retrograde thanks to the female emancipation in the labour market. society in general is currently in almost any case you look at more advantageous for women except in niches like high leading positions and stem fields, which are jobs most women naturally don't want. that stands as the sole reason for their comparative undererepresentation in those jobs and for so called "suppression", that is falsely interpreted into statistical inequality. it litterally all boils down to the difference in the reproductive systematic differences between the genders and what that brings with it :D it's somehow comical that after all those years, we have still not figured out how to competently and fairly manage those simple differences.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t really agree with every single case of women owning their sexuality as being empowering, nor do I think all men who are confident in their sexual prowess as weak.


    Why is that a view held by many, though?
    Well.. many cultures will still punish women for showing enthusiasm about sex/intimacy so, naturally, since women in general have struggled in that aspect, it’s seen as an achievement of sorts for some women to have the freedom/courage to be proud of their prowess. On the flip side, men have always been praised/encouraged with their promiscuity so.. they don’t really warrant any pride for continuing to poke around.

    • i personally hold that believe cause all girls i meet are so scared that i'm a fuckboy. as if anything would be wrong with me wanting some sex and as if every guy they ever met only wanted that xD at the same time they hide their sexual urges from me out of fear i might judge them for it, which i don't. so that's where i get that from. i understand that this is the case in many cultures still like india, where promisquity can litterally get you killed. you can hardly speak of sexual repression for women in modern western society tho. i don't personally normally experience being praised/encouraged to go fuck around. it happens rarely but it's not "the normal man" thing.

    • Hmm maybe the girls aren’t scared of you, but rather because they know you’re only there for sex, they’re worried about possibly developing feelings for you. &yeah, u realize that the oppression if female sexuality is still very much active in India/Muslim majority countries. However, with the west being infiltrated by migrants from those areas... the overly conservative views are spreading. I mean- the mass public sexual assault/rape in cologne wasn’t that long ago. 😒

    • well it isn't even like that. i'm not even "only there for the sex" but it's not like i hate sex before we're married, you know xD dude that was "rape", not women being shamed for having sex. it was obviously horrible but this is an exception that at best harmed the foreign relations and the public opinions we have about foreigners, not the sexual standards. like i'm speaking about normal average people, not extreme cases xD

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, a lot of women don't see that our Puritanical culture makes everybody's sex lives a scandal, not just women's. It's not a gender issue. It's a religious issue, which we've inherited from centuries of toxic fundamentalism.

    • yeah i guess there's always the underlying frear of moral degradation. but it's funny how we act as if men can have all the sex they want without any negative stigma or shaming.

    • Absolutely! Nothing could be further from the truth. The stigma and shaming are there, and there is not a man on this planet or in its history who has ever had all the sex he wanted! XD

    • well to be fair hugh hefner and gengis khan probably have xD but yeah everyone else probably not. just to do a bit of a humble brag: i just run a quick analysis on the pairfam dataset, which is a very reputable german family panel survey to see how much of that is actually true. turns out most men AND women do actually on average wish that they'd have more sex than they actually have but it's more men in proportion :D

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Because women have socially shamed and ridiculed so long for it. Girls be getting into whole relationships just to fuck lol ruining they precious lives just cause they want some dick. Its expected of men to be promiscious fucking who they want without a care in the world.

    • "Its expected of men to be promiscious fucking who they want without a care in the world." is it though? isn't being a "player" or a "fuckboy" shaming and stigma? i wouldn't call those wourds "encouraging". and who exactly "ruins womens precious live, cause they want dick?" nobody. yeah some religious fanatics who wait till marriage may not want those girls anymore but those girls wouldn't want those guys either. and the majority of guys actually encourage women being promisquous... otherwise how would they find a girl to fuck?

    • Men are not moved by those labels its a badge of honor to them

    • nope, it's not. how many girls would love to have sex with a fuckboy/player? exactly. none. it's not a badge of honor, it's shameful.

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  • can't say every 1 is this way

    • making general statements doesn't mean "every one is that way" xD

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