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Why am I such a monster?

Anonymous
SO, sometimes when I'm watching videos on pedophilia or kids being sexually abused. THESE bad thoughts go on in my head. Like I'm the one doing it? I don't know it's weird and I shouldn't even tell anyone but I need to get it out. Am I a pedophile? Or is it the show's getting to me? My thoughts go crazy and wild sometimes and I know its disgusting and wrong and I wish in could just remove myself from the world. I don't think like this at all when I'm around kids, I absolutely love kids and wouldn't ever want anyone to harm them. WHATS GOING ON?
Why am I such a monster?
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