Has this ever happened to anyone else?

[Anonymous]

So i started talking to this guy about a month ago. We get along great and i love hanging out with him, but occasionally i'm not so into it.. especially during sex. we just recently slept together and it wasn't the greatest and now i feel no desire to sleep with him. but whenever i see him all i wanna do is jump on him and give him hugs and kisses. i find myself calling him often because i just wanna hear his voice. i definitely like him as more than a friend... but can't figure out what's missing.

[CapnHawk]

I chased after this one woman for over a year before we had sex. Beautiful woman with a smoking hot body. When we finally had sex, I found out she was a virgin. I tried my best, but sex with her was a complete failure. She just laid there like a dead body. As hot as I was for her, sexually we didn't click and that was it. Relationship over.

[Asker]

i feel like this might be my case://

[AustinMan]

Statistically samples of one are notoriously inaccurate. Sleep with him more times after talking to him about it and see if things improve.

[Bad_Man55]

So you have an emotional connection maybe but the sex didn't live up to expectations.. have you onnly had sex once?

[Asker]

a couple times. he's amazed by the sex and says it's the best he's ever had and to me it's really not great. which doesn't help the situation. it leaves me not even wanting to have sex, steering clear of it really

[Bad_Man55]

Well that is a red flag sexual chemistry is the foundation of a quality connection

[OutdoorsForLife]

What part of the sex wasn’t great? Did you orgasm, were you turned on, did he eat you out?

[Asker]

he did and i did from it! but the actual sex wasn't great. he only did missionary and thought it was amazing. i'm the kind of girl who wants to be thrown and tossed around. i want a guy to take charge. so i tried changing positions myself but he's too sweet of a guy to feel comfortable taking charge like that. it's just off putting watching him get so worked up over missionary...

[OutdoorsForLife]

Oh, he’s not dominant enough. When you told him you need more dominance what did he say?

[Asker]

i honestly didn't say anything to him yet. i'm just so put off i couldn't imagine having sex with him right now. but i still wanna see him and kiss him and be all over him. sex just doesn't seem on the table right now, it's weird

[OutdoorsForLife]

I’ll let you know as a guy one of the challenges is knowing your sexual limits and not wanting to cross the line. With #metoo, rape culture, and other times men have been accused of sexual abuse some guys are more careful not to let out their freaky side in bed for fear that he will be blamed for abuse when he never intended it. That’s why I asked if you had the conversation. If you could explain where your limits are sexually and empower him to: choke you, pull your hair, throw you around, tie you up, fist you, pee on your face... whatever kinks you enjoy so that he knows how open he can be sexually. Until that conversation occurs, you are stuck dreading sex with Mr Missionary.

[Asker]

this actually opened my eyes a lot thank you. usually guys just toss me around I've never had to ask for it so going into this was a change. i also feel like he's not very experienced. i'll try talking to him thank you!

[OutdoorsForLife]

I hope it helps. Ya as a teenager I remember being the guy you described. Thankfully I learned how to communicate more and be dominant. Safe words and having a plan to know how to bring her pleasure in kinky ways have helped my cause :). Good luck.

[msc545]

Try having sex again - it may get better. Tell him what you want him to do.

[Listentoyourheart34]

Maybe you’re too scared to get attached