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How do I stop pushing my wife into the arms of another man?

Anonymous
Me and my wife are in a cuckold life style. For those that don’t know what that is, I let my wife have sex with other men. Sometimes I watch her, other times I’m not present. We started doing this after the wife had our 3 kids and I stopped finding her attractive. We decided to spice up our marriage and started doing this. The problem is that I get conflicting feelings. For example, last night my wife stayed with her lover. I called her today in the morning and asked what time she was coming back because I wanted to go hiking with the kids and have a picnic. Since it was early in the morning, I was horny and suggested she should bring him to the hike. By the time they got to the hiking trail, I was no longer horny so I felt annoyed by his presence and wanted him to leave. At the picnic, they started flirting and he would grab her ass without our kids watching and I started getting horny again. In our hike, I took the kids , while they were behind us walking slowly. I made sure that the kids couldn’t see them as I noticed they started holding hands. I lost sight of them but 10 minutes later, the wife sent me a video of her giving him a bj. I got super hard but that’s when my daughter asked where’s mommy? That’s when I was like WTF am I doing. We are all back home, the guy went to his house too. The wife is spending time with the kids as she hasn’t been with them in 2 days. I’m thinking of talking to her about it but I don’t know how she will take because every time she’s with him, she has a huge smile.
How do I stop pushing my wife into the arms of another man?
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