No. I have not and even if I were 20 again, I would not.
I know many MARRIED couples who have divorced.
Not because of money - which, from what my friends who are marriage counselors, is either the number one or number two reason for divorce - but because of sexual incompatibility.
That's right.
Married couples I thought were happy, it turns out that underneath all the smiles and lovey-dovey exterior, divorced because they were sexually incompatible. It's always the case that one partner wants it a lot more than the other - and it's not always the man who wants it more than the women. In fact, my friends who are marriage counselors say that the split is about 50-50, with just as many couples where the woman wants sex far more times than the man has the mood for. In fact, in couples where it is the woman who wants sex more, there's even more stress because that scenario doesn't align with our cultural expectations of male-female sexual desire, where men are seen as the ones who have a more voracious sexual appetite.
And I have friends who might not be married, but who regularly complain to me that their partners, whether male or female, doesn't provide sex enough times to satisfy them, or the reverse, their partners want sex more times than they have the energy to fulfill.
In fact, some marriage counselors are now putting sexual incompatibility very close to their Top reason for divorces nowadays.
From what I've heard from my friends who have been through this, it's not a great feeling for either party. The party that wants more feel that they're not getting enough out of the relationship and that they will have to live a life feeling forever unfulfilled, while the party that can't provide for their partner constantly feels that they're not good enough since they can't fulfill their partners' needs.
Compromising can only do so much.
I mean, it's nice to say things like "I'll wait until marriage to have sex" and it can certainly do wonders for your self-esteem if saying that matches the "brand" you want to project to others and if it aligns with your sense of self.
However, do be aware that reality might not be so accommodating to your pre-conceived notions of what marriage is like. When you're talking about spending a lifetime with another person, we're talking about a complex human being - that no computer could ever hope to replicate - with hundreds of different wants and needs in many different permutations. There's no one size fit all.
And from what I've seen, sexual compatibility is high on everyone's list - because whether you want it 5 times a day, or once a week, pairing up with someone who is not sexually compatible often brings cataclysmic problems further down the track.
Well, not marriage as we know it. Because I wouldn't want to participate in that unless for specific reasons when I'm older and have a better idea of how I want the outcome of my life to be, or they change the way the courts handle divorces so that the wife doesn't rob the husband of his hard-earned money. Because it's not that it will inevitably happen to an individual, it's that it can and has happened to many individuals.
But I'm definitely waiting until I'm financially stable, emotionally stable, and until I find someone that I feel would make a good mother/partner for the longterm. In my eyes, if I'm in a longterm committed relationship with someone, I'm basically married. I wouldn't treat them any differently than if I were married to them. And I'd hope they'd do the same.
When it comes to sex (since the consequences are so drastic) I feel like I have to look at the broader picture before I do it. It would feel wrong not to. Especially since you can accidentally create another human in the process. I wouldn't want it to just be some "happy accident." I'd want it to be in a planned and in a responsible way. For the sake of the offspring.
But who knows, I may never have sex. And that's okay, I don't really mind. I don't value it as highly as other people do. I just simply value the planning and consideration of the possible outcomes very highly.
I’m married now, but I didn’t wait. I had my first time when I was 17. If you want to wait, that’s perfectly fine. It’s your body and life, so it should be your decision when and in what relationship context you want to have sex the first time.
That horse escaped from the barn already... lol
... but good for you :)
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!No, I'm not (too late for that, anyway), but I respect the decision (and the dedication) of those who do, even if I don't think it's the best course of action.
At my age and never married, I sure as hell hope not.
No, I'm not. I'm just waiting for the right guy, but I already know that I'll only meet him when I'm on my 30's.
Yes I did lol and mission accomplished 💍🛏️
Well I didn't. I think its rather hard to do with how society is today, considering that women are now marrying later then they ever have before (25 years old and up) while the era where this was common you would be at most early twenties before getting married. So I think its a lot harder to do now then it was in the past.
That said, statistically its better to wait until marriage as they have the highest marriage sucess rates and lowest occurence of cheating, divorce, and are happier over all in their marriage then those that don't. So if I do support any one who can wait till marriage.
I voted yes for I know that God wants everyone to wait until they are on their honeymoon to have sex with their opposite sex spouse
No, I have not waited. I don’t think that it is a good idea to link marriage with our first natural sexual needs and desires. Marriage is a commitment for children and should not be rushed by the need for sexual pleasure.
Good point. As long as you impregnate a woman if you are not ready for or capable of taking care of
Waiting for marriage.
I do like learning a lot about all topics including sex though.
That was my plan but my partner asked me to sleep with her and me thinking yes this is the 1 give up my virginity to her and then she left without a word of why never spoke again after 3 half years together and she was not a virgin in the first place. So if your going to do it make sure you go all the way till after you've been fully married to make sure you save it for then because I made the mistake of falling for it early thinking it was the right move😔
Yeah I waited until I get married and now I'm glad that I waited that long.
Already had sex before marriage. I did lose it to the guy I ended up marrying though
nope
That's too late lol. No I'm screwing my boyfriend and I did my x too
I didn't have that willpower I gave in at 16 lol
You look a little like Kenneth Branagh, whom I adore
Lol well that's the first time I've heard that, but I'll take it as a compliment so thank you 😊
You're welcome!
I'm not religious, so I don't see the point of marriage, but I don't rule it out.
As for a relationship, if it happens, it happens and the IDEA of being in one sounds cool, but as long as I live a happy life, I don't care, because I've never had a relationship before.
The same logic applies for sex.
The same goes for sex.
Okay, looking at what I typed, it sounds a bit confusing, lol. What I meant to say in terms of marriage, is that I don't rule out the possibility of getting married, not waiting for it before having sex. Then again, sex will happen in it's own time and maybe I'd want to marry a person first, because despite my current view on marriage for myself, there's no certainty I'll think that way forever.
I am trying to wait for marriage. I do say im waiting for sex but I don't want to be with a girl just because of sex, I want to be with her because I love her and save sex for her. I just want it to be a special moment rather than a need to tame a sexual desire. To each their own but that's my plan :)
Yyup
Already had sex before marriage.
That ship has sailed 😂
Too late for that lol
I also don't want to get married so nothing to "wait" for.
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