Someone please help me?

[38024gurl]

Guys, girls, anyone. I just need help. How can I get someone out of my life who’s lived with me for 2 years but not on my lease? He gets mail here so I know that there is a legal process I would probably have to go through but I dont want to wait that 30 days that they’ll probably give him. I need him away from me now! He spits on me all the time like Im trash and threatens to harm and/or kill me or tells me to go and kill myself and its all over stupid reasons. Maybe something like I might interrupt him while he's talking to me and not even meaning to. You know like when you think someone is done talking so you start talking and then they start talking again when you do. To me, thats not interrupting someone. And even if it was, I dont deserve to be treated like that and spit on. I have found myself to be so sad and lonely lately. Im not who I used to be as a person. He has broken me down so much. I try to stand up to him, but I’m not gonna lie.. I am starting to become concerned for my safety. And it’s not even just me in the picture. He doesn’t want my kids around. Probably because he doesn’t want them to see how badly he treats me. He talks down to me so bad that my self esteem has pretty much gone out the window. For example I am older than him and just because I like to mind my business and stay at home a lot, mostly because I work, but he calls me lame and boring and old. He makes fun of my body even though I think I look great after having 3 kids. Its just that I don’t look like what his brain is taught to look good which are supermodels or porn stars. Which has become another problem in our relationship, all he cares about is women and looking at other women and watching porn. I just want out. I deserve so much better. Please help! Please give me some advice. Just not even 30 mins ago he spit in my face three times and called me retarded just because I interrupted him. Someone please help me. 😞😞

[WindAtMyBack]

I think you need to talk to the police or a lawyer.

You seem to already know part of it and realize that he is probably considered a tenant, and therefore tenant landlord laws probably apply. That does make it a lot more difficult.

I would start with a formal written notice to leave. It might take 30 days before you can even start the eviction process. But put it in writing anyway, while you pursue other measures.

Talk to the police or lawyer to find out if any of the things he is doing are legally consider abuse. If so, find out what can be done about it.

I think you already realize that he probably has the legal right to be there. The mail is a minor thing in establishing residency. Just the fact that he lives there is a bigger thing. Where I live, my understanding is that it only takes two weeks to be considered a tenant.

This is a legal issue, so you need to know exactly what the law is where you live, and what you can do about it. You need the police and a lawyer to get it right.

Document everything. Record things if possible. Be prepared to go to court if necessary. In court, go in with everything organized. Don't get there sputtering and going "um um". Be prepared to answer any question clearly and concisely. That will help improve your credibility.

If you feel you are in danger, contact local battered women's groups for advice and a potential escape route.

You also have the choice of moving out yourself until you can go through an eviction if it comes to that.

I suspect you already know most of what I've said. So I'm just giving reinforcement. Try to keep your emotions out of it. Think clearly, and do what it takes to resolve this. You are strong enough to do this. Just keep your head clear.

[38024gurl]

Thank you so much! That helped a lot.

[WindAtMyBack]

You're welcome. When you give a written notice to vacate, try to have a witness, or at least record it. Keep a duplicate also. It shouldn't be hard to find the formal process where you live. Do it by the book. It might even be possible for someone else to hand him the notice, maybe without you even being there. There is a *chance" that just handing him a formal written notice to vacate will be enough to resolve this. He might realize it's getting serious and the law is getting involved.

[PixelNight]

If someone is threatening you, you don’t have to wait the 30 days. You can get them out very fast. I would call your local sheriff or police department and ask them for how to go about getting them out. The things he’s doing to you are unacceptable, and I hope you get him out soon. Good luck!

[38024gurl]

Thank you! I’ve just been trying to have some kind of evidence before contacting them. But was also just told that I may not have to have evidence, only a testimony.

[PixelNight]

No problem! Evidence would probably be good but I think a testimony would work too, i’m not 100% sure. I knew someone that had to deal with sorta the same stuff, but I never got the full details. If you can’t get evidence just in case, I would say just ask your local sheriff if it’s needed along with how to get him out. They’re usually very kind & understanding :)

[jennifer_bloom]

If you video tape or tape record him uttering threats you can have him removed from your home within minutes or hours - I know cause my cousin had her husband removed when he hit her

[38024gurl]

I’ve thought about trying to record him but he’s always on top of it when it comes to my phone. He even broke my phone with a sledge hammer three nights ago but luckily I had insurance on it and just got this replacement.

[jennifer_bloom]

You might not need any evidence at all other than your word - I know guys who were jailed without evidence based on testimony alone

[38024gurl]

That would be nice. I’m willing to try anything. But it also helps to have someone to talk to about it in the meantime, you know

[integrale77]

If he's not on this lease isn't this where most girls would dump his stuff outside while he's out change the locks and tell him to find a new place after all he doesn't seem to have a legal attachment to living there.

[38024gurl]

Yeah I want to do that but does he not have a legal obligation since he’s lived here for so long?

[integrale77]

Not really if it's your name on the lease then it's your home if he's no longer wanted there then he's technically trespassing by being there. I can't speak for most countries though as long as you give him all his stuff and it's handled in a responsible way then he has no reason to enter your home and no claim to damage to his property.

[Jakeofalltrades93]

is he your boyfriend or something? why would you let someone like that live with you in the first place?

[38024gurl]

He hasn’t always been this way.

[Jakeofalltrades93]

then break up with him and kick his ass out. if he refuses to leave call the cops and they will remove him

[38024gurl]

I will do that. I just hope they don’t give him time to leave.

[Jakeofalltrades93]

I'm sure if you tell them that you feel threatened they will kick him out immediately

[AhmetMiraç]

if that person is your spouse, divorced

[38024gurl]

He’s not, we’ve only been dating for two and a half years.

[AhmetMiraç]

Then leave

[38024gurl]

Well he lives with me, so he would need to leave.

[AhmetMiraç]

then let it go. he doesn't love you anyway