I need advice? Is it just intrusive thoughts?


Please don't attack me.. okay... so I don't know how to start this. I feel like a monster. I have bad intrusive thoughts and feelings sometimes. The thing I fear the most, pedophilia. I have unwanted images, and things in my head. I don't know if I am a pedo? whenever I watch or even see a post about it and sometimes out of nowhere I start thinking about it. Its non stop, bad thoughts. I know pedophilia is wrong, and I am not sexually attracted to kids. That's wrong on so many levels. But am I a pedo to an extent? i get trapped up in my room thinking I'm a bad person and just having horrible thoughts to the point where its agonizing. like my friends brother is 17, and i was kind of attracted to him? it's weird. I wouldn't ever act on it, I wouldn't do anything. I just don't wanna think this way! :( my mind races and races with horrible thoughts and issues. ugh why can't I be normal?

I think pedophilia is a big issue now a days and if I ever saw someone acting like that with a kid I would wanna torture them and make them serve their time. It just worries me when I have thoughts like this. I'm 23 and I'm a girl. I feel like someone should take me in the back and shoot me. Pedophilia is one of my biggest fucking fears, every time I watch a documentary series on it it breaks my heart and I take it very close to heart.
I need advice? Is it just intrusive thoughts?
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