I need advice? Is it just intrusive thoughts?

[Anonymous]

*SENSITIVE POST*

Please don't attack me.. okay... so I don't know how to start this. I feel like a monster. I have bad intrusive thoughts and feelings sometimes. The thing I fear the most, pedophilia. I have unwanted images, and things in my head. I don't know if I am a pedo? whenever I watch or even see a post about it and sometimes out of nowhere I start thinking about it. Its non stop, bad thoughts. I know pedophilia is wrong, and I am not sexually attracted to kids. That's wrong on so many levels. But am I a pedo to an extent? i get trapped up in my room thinking I'm a bad person and just having horrible thoughts to the point where its agonizing. like my friends brother is 17, and i was kind of attracted to him? it's weird. I wouldn't ever act on it, I wouldn't do anything. I just don't wanna think this way! :( my mind races and races with horrible thoughts and issues. ugh why can't I be normal?


I think pedophilia is a big issue now a days and if I ever saw someone acting like that with a kid I would wanna torture them and make them serve their time. It just worries me when I have thoughts like this. I'm 23 and I'm a girl. I feel like someone should take me in the back and shoot me. Pedophilia is one of my biggest fucking fears, every time I watch a documentary series on it it breaks my heart and I take it very close to heart.

[NamerOfStars]

Relax. That's not pedophilia. Pedophilia is a sexual attraction to children- not minors, children. Prepubescents. Someone who's 17 is definitely no longer a child; in almost all the US, they're above the age of consent. Barring some rare and very specific medical problems, they are a full sexual being. Now, you may feel he's still too young, and that's fine, but think back to when you were seventeen- you had sexual urges and feelings, didn't you? Why would it be any different for him? Let the fear go. He's an attractive young man, and your a health young woman; the appeal is natural. In this regard, you are perfectly normal.

Morally, there is nothing wrong with pedophilia; it's just a feeling. You do not control your feelings, but you do control your actions. It is the action- child molestation- that is reprehensible. Not the attraction. It does not harm a person in any way to have others be attracted to them. Having sex is a different matter, but you realize that it would be a bad idea in this case, so you don't do it.

[WindAtMyBack]

Having thoughts about a 17 year old is perfectly OK and normal. If that is all you are worried about then it's not a problem.

If you are having thoughts about kids much younger, then it might be a problem, especially if you think you could act on it.

Also, people do have intrusive thoughts. About all kind of weird things. Those thoughts don't necessarily indicate a real problem. Having thoughts is one thing. Acting on them is entirely different. There is a very large gap between the two.

[Anonymous]

These thoughts are incessant chatter thoughts that are generally useless. The best thing to do is distract yourself from them. Maybe date some 10 years older than yourself. That way you aren't associating your friend's brother's appearance with being attractive. That way your ehebophilic thoughts will be overwritten.

[BlckGrl]

You're not a pedophile everyone has fucked up thoughts sometimes

[Asker]

Yeah very true. It's not all the time it's sometimes these thoughts go through my head. But thanks for making me feel better.

[PixelNight]

I don’t think you’re a pedophile. In a lot of areas in the US and other countries the age of consent is 16. A 17 year old doesn’t look much different than an 18 year old, and everyone has some weird thoughts once and a while. If you had a tendency to like underage guys I would say that’s a problem, but it sounds like you’re fine.

[Asker]

I don't normally like guys at that age. I normally want a guy whose my age or older. I don't know what went wrong. I just have to change my mind or so.

[PixelNight]

Yea, if that’s the case i’m sure you aren’t a pedophile. Nothing to worry about ahaha

[Asker]

Okay, thanks so much

[zamasux]

Seek a doctor. Don't waste time, sooner you get medical help is good for your mental health. I assume you want to heal and not to live in fear all your life, right?

[thatnicksuitsme]

Thoughts like those might appear in your mind every once in a while. It happens to everyone in their life at some point. Don’t go harsh on yourself. 17 is not a big problem considering there are REAL pedos who would want to have sexual intercourse with some kids under 15-14 etc. And in some countries the age of consent is 16. Also back in the day hundreds of years ago, people were dating anything over 14.


Whatever. Just don’t torture yourself. You don’t sound like a pedo after all.

[ceramicpanda1]

It's quite normal for people to be attracted to a tad bit younger than themselves and 17 isn't bad at all

[Anonymous]

Having sexual thoughts about a 17 hear boy is not bad... you have no control over your thoughts... but you should not act on them...

[Mikelaughs]

Great response

[Opinion Owner]

@Mikelaughs it's just a human attraction... which a person can control...😉😉

[Mikelaughs]

There may be a fine line on what we can and cannot control! Care to discuss this somewhere else where others can't see? ( people may judge)

[Anonymous]

Maybe you need a palate cleanser; try dating a handsome older gentleman. That way you associate sexiness with guys who are well past 18.

[Asker]

I'm actually attracted to older men.

[Asker]

I just have weird thoughts sometimes.

[Opinion Owner]

I assume you are currently single?

[Asker]

Yes I am.

[Opinion Owner]

That is probably your biggest issue; if you are in a relationship you won't have as much time to notice attractive guys who are underage. The longer you are single the wider you will cast your net, so to speak, in finding a suitable mate. So you will start to consider people that you would otherwise not want to date. The way I deal with these thoughts is to stop and tell myself "No, that is not appropriate!" I don't know how well that would work for other people; but it has been very successful for me.

[Asker]

I'm not attracted to younger men, lol. It was just my friends brother. That was the only time I felt that feeling. It was weird.

[Opinion Owner]

Not normally, but the longer you are single the more attractive he becomes to you.

[Anonymous]

There is a massive difference between a pedo and an ehebophile

[Asker]

I'm not even attracted to adolescents, I see them running down my street all the time. It was just a fucked up thought I had. I don't know