Next time you’re drunk, hope nobody steals your wallet
Here is the deal. Its my job to stay in control while I drink to prevent someone from stealing my wallet and to be able to hurt that person really really badly for trying. People shouldn't be getting so drunk that they do something that they regret. If you want to get that wrecked then do it somewhere safe with friends around to look out for each other. like at someone's home
I was on a date with a guy I trusted. He was coercing me to drink. Then he grabbed me and made out with me.
He knew I didn’t want to make out because I told him this BEFORE
My comments were not about you and I dont support what he did but as I and others have said on this post, you need to remain sober enough to keep yourself safe and you need to say no when you dont want something
I understand. I think because I trusted him as someone with whom I had met a few times I didn’t think this would happen.
people can suck
Sometimes bad things happen right under our nose and we don’t know how they happened
Very true. I would love to live in a world where I could trust everyone but the reality is not that simple
Thanks for the MHO honey
I’m lucky to call you my friend
You're welcome hon goodnight
He knew I didn’t want to make out. If I did I would’ve done it sober
In the U. S., that is. the message implied she was in a different country (none of my business which one), so I don't know the laws there
Yes you got it!
Wish you could send me a PM
I would, but I can't because we're both anonymous. I don't want you to have to reveal your username
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PM me please
i think it's borderline assault, you werent asking for a kiss. His anger is manipulative.
Choosing to drink does not give him the license to force himself on her
She wasn’t going out with him to get assaulted. Nobody knows what’s around the corner.
You can’t slow assault she never said no not once.
@VIVANT oh I assure you, you can allow sexual assualt. N her question the asker knwogly got drunk and allowed him 2 do what he did
Nobody allowed the assault If you are drunk, and he grabs and kisses you without consent, then it is assault
If u knowingly get drunk it is
If it’s assault it isn’t permittedAssault is against your will
@VIVANT I never consented
@VIVANT she's drunk so she can't consent
She never said no she kept goong with him she was consciously thinking about jiw he was making her feel So she was kot pot of it and she invited him in anyhow and never said stop It doesn’t matter if he wanted her to get drunk or not she refused to drink and thoight about her actions every step of the way Kissing while drunk is not an assault it’s not illegal snd she knew what was going on in she was reporting g in every incident every step of the wayShe said she let him bc she felt bad not bc she was drunk This whole thing is sad and gross not it isn’t assault she literally groomed herself for Being a victim It’s like she was trying oit for the part No one made her do any of that stuff all she had to do was walk away
@VIVANT exactly. But ultimately she was drunk and by law that makes this assualt
Ah yeah that’s true🧐All the story surrounding it was irrelevant It got me side tracked lol Like there’s no case to make bc she “felt bad” People are not criminals bc you feel badlyBut yeah I guess It’s just illegal to make out if drunk (? ) Is that in all states?
@VIVANT depends. It wpuld probably be considered he got her drunk to do so, so it became a crime. Though I don't really feel bad for her or lile it's a crime. She kept seeing the dude and got drunk on her own. But the law is screwed up so n some places this was a crime
Predators can get their victims drunk in order to assault them which is a CRIME. I only interacted with him less than 3 times
But you knowginly drank the alcohol
So? Nothing wrong with drinking.
Men get drunk all the time. Does that mean I’m allowed to steal their wallets?
He knowingly pressured me to drink in order to assault me.
And u knew that yet stayed and drank
You don’t need to be drunk in order to make out. If I wanted to I would’ve done it sober
How did he pressure you to drink? You chose to drink. You recounted every event in your head what was happening how you felt. The reason being drunk makes consent inadmissible in court is bc it’s supposed to cloud your faculties but you wrote a ten page essay on everything going on.I understand you were going through a tough time and when I answered I didn’t know it was you so I wasn’t concerned about how direct or unsympathetic I sounded, and I’m really very sorry if I sounded like I was attacking you it isn’t how I meant it.what I was trying to say js at every turn you Vogue s walked away shd you need to think of yourself as having power to do that otherwise next time some guy may actually rape you and it will be illegal but that won’t be consolation.He didn’t need to want you to drink to be able to see he was a jerk. you shouldn’t have continued staying with him. And as far as drinking you are not a minor you decide yourself if you want to drink. I’m not saying you caused him to behave the way he did I’m just saying walk away. He didn’t rape you but he could’ve. If you feel badly in someone’s presence— walk away.If you feel lonely look for a supper group. If you are having a crisis talk to a therapist join some clubs do Anything social and get yourself out of your head. dont latch onto creepy dangerous people.
Legally being drunk him jumping on you and drawing blood YES ASSAULT... but the rest of the study whike well written and well expressed it doesn’t really okay into the ultimate crime. He wasn’t Grooming a minor for Prostitution. You are an adult and you. Goose should to spend your time with. it doesn’t matter how long it Little you guys knew each other. People do way more way faster.To be clear I’m NOT saying just bc you were spending time with him gave him the right to do whatever he wants. I’m saying nothing in spending time together causes him to have power over you. You gave up your will to him for some reason I don’t understand while not under sny influence. This is a problem but it has nothing to do with this guy he could have been anyone and it isn’t a crime if the person you are with is uninterested in what they are engaging in. Your agency is your responsibility. He has to respect boundaries but if you have none That is not his fault. It isn’t illegal to be an asshole. He isn’t responsible for your temporary lack of judgement. Or the will to use it. The crime he is responsible of, is when he took advantage while you were under the influence.
It isn’t illegal for a guy to try to do what he can to get sex unless he actually does something illegal to try to get it. The fact you were feeling vulnerable and malleable and he tried to use that to his benefit, is really unfortunate but it doesn’t make it a crime. Unless you are someone with an actual cognitive impairment. Seeing as you are premed and a skilled writer with a fantastic memory, your cognition is five. You were having a bad time and he was a dick and was slimy and eventually went too far. The back story while compelling in a journalistic kind of way, weakens the assault case under the influence rather than strengthening it, bc you are blaming him for your actions BEFORE you were drunk. That isn’t something he is responsible for unless : 1 He was threatening you 2 you are a child 3 you are a subordinate 4 you are mentally impaired Organically 5 he slipped you a drug
in my opinion Spiritually he was guilty. law deals only in pragmatism.Spiritually you as well need to take more care in your well being. You need support not losers like him. I really hope you find people who are understanding. I was serious about seeking out to support groups or clubs.. I just can’t believe there is nothing out there. I know we didn’t get off to a good start and you May Have developed intense dislike for me... but honestly I’m on your side. If you want to talk feel free to message 💗 💗
@VIVANT weird I'm still not on the askers side as she knew what she was doing the whole time
Yeah I just feel like there’s a grey area bc people get into bad situations at bad ones It doesn’t really help to judge I mean better ways to help clearly she was in a bad way Again that isn’t the guys fault Though what he did at the end was wrong. But the rest of it is problematic that she felt stuck when she wasn’t you know?
I think people should feel like they can say no. If uncomfortable so something is wrong there. aa for him who knows if he even thought she didn’t like all that 🤷♂️
@VIVANT been there done that. That's how I lost my virginity actually. But at the end of the day it was really my fault. I knowingly did the thinhs that led up to that and the whole time was conscious enough 2 say no if I wanted to. She was n enough of her right mind 2 remember everything very vivid so she wasn't even too drunk n my opinion 2 say no even. Just because you're scared u can't use that as an excuse
That’s what I’m saying though I think I said it many times in many ways... she knows she can recount the details precisely. Which means she was IN CONTROL. It’s dangerous that she felt like she wasn’t. If you take judgement out of it there is still a problem. I don’t say it’s the guys fault she was feeling bad. I’m saying it’s unhealthy that bc she felt down she couidnt walk away. she knows she remembers everything yet seeks to feel age has no control and or impaired judgement. The judgement was bad from the beginning But it was conscious.
@VIVANT he just grabbed me and started kissing me. He knew I didn’t want to
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