Should I tell my girlfriend she's not satisfying me sexually?

[Anonymous]

When we have sex she's always very satisfied and orgasms more than once. But I'm always feeling like "that's all?"
Last time we had sex she wanted to snuggle and fell asleep, I was caressing her hair but I kept staring at the ceiling and I was just feeling so left out.
It sucks because I like her and she does all the right moves, but it's never that good for me.
Should I talk with her about this, or keep it to myself?

[AmandaYVR]

I thread through your exchanges with the other commenters. It seems like you don't know precisely what it is that is missing, but you do need something to change.
You've only been together two months, so things don't have to be set in stone already. It would be more awkward if it had been more time. You should speak up. But you can't be vague with her and say, "I don't know it is. Something's just missing" and then make her figure it out. You have to really think about this.

You said you like her body, and she's kinky, and your relationship irl is good.

If you're not orgasming all the time, why doesn't she notice that? You're not faking, are you? That would be extremely rare on the guy's end. I mean, there's evidence. So she's ok with you not cuming? Have you been shrugging that off? Do you say you're just distracted or something? Why is she not asking why?

I don't think the answer's going to come from you. But she sounds like she cares about you, and as you say is ok with criticism, so this is on you to figure this out and understand yourself. When you do that, either talk to her before about your conclusions, or just act out what you would like to be different, while in the moment. Either way, she sounds like she will be receptive so this should be fixable.

[Zannika02]

Gotta talk about it. And dont be surprised if she gets defensive. Give her some reassurances like I love u or like u a lot, or love when u ride me like this. Then throw in I wanna try this or w more intensity or it's hot to hear u or I wanna see u touch urself. Inquire about what she is curious about...

[zamasux]

Yes you must talk to her but be a smart guy don't make her feel bad about this.
You can tell her that we can make things more interesting by doing role play.
1 day she will take the charge and please you so some other day you will take the charge and please her. You can always spice up things.

[Anonymous]

Do you cum too, or just she does?

[Asker]

Most of the time I cum, but not in a satisfying way, more like a ruined nut. Sometimes I don't cum at all

[Opinion Owner]

What's the matter, she doesn't go long enough or you're just not into her body?

[Asker]

That's what I don't get, she's hot and I really like her, and she's kinky too, but for the life of me I always feel it's disappointing for some reason. We have been together for two months now and I have enjoyed sex with her only two or three times

[Opinion Owner]

Is it because she falls asleep afterwards and you lay there feeling lonely? That used to happen to me. She would want me to hold her, then she falls asleep and I feel ignored and lonely basically.

[Asker]

It could be that too, she always falls asleep and I have to stay still because she keeps her head on my lap or chest But yeah I feel ignored at times, even during the act. Sometimes it's like she cares only about getting off

[Opinion Owner]

Does it feel more like a chore to have sex with her? My ex was so selfish in bed and lazy that there's times I would rather go jerk off to porn

[Asker]

Maybe not exactly selfish, but a bit uncaring yes

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm... Does she take criticism well? My ex didn't and I would've been better off to just keep her as a friends with benefits than to ever argue with her.

[Asker]

To be honest she generally takes criticism really well and is not arrogant even if she gives the impression at first, but I never talked to her about sex. So she thinks it's all well

[Opinion Owner]

Well, maybe you just have to steer the sex in the direction you want. Surely she doesn't want to do the same thing every time anyway. Flip her over face down, ass up and pull her hair while you do her from behind for a while. Then get her riding cowgirl, then put her on her back and pound away to the finish line. Take charge of it and make it what you need. Who knows, she might even love that.

[Asker]

That sounds good, I think I'll try it. She did say she wants to try new things, so that should be good for both

[Opinion Owner]

Nice. Yeah, you're probably better off to do it that way. Never argue with women or hurt their feelings, it's not going to benefit you. Good luck.

[Asker]

You are right, also because I really don't wanna lose her Thank you for your advice

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I learned everything the hard way. I hope you can avoid my mistake of being critical and pissing them off. There's always a better way to get what you want without damaging the relationship.

[AmandaYVR]

Asker, what was it about those only two or three times where you did enjoy it... what made them better? Maybe you should focus on that?

[AustinMan]

You absolutely should talk to her about it. Here're some tips.

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

[OlderAndWiser]

What is it that she fails to do, or does wrong?

[DavidHart]

i am kind of having the same issue too.
it's been years already.
i am still holding it.

[MichaelaMas]

You should talk about this. If u will never tell her, nothing will change. Try to tell her but don't be offensive.

[oncpl]

Definitely, talk her politely and express what do you feel and what do you want.

[EyesOfGod]

Yes, immediately

[In_Trance]

Yes you should talk to her, but don't word it that way. Jesus, you'll ruin everything.
Wdym you feel left out? Is she with someone else or you?

[Asker]

She's with me, but when we have sex she seems to get all the pleasure while I'm just there "helping out"

[In_Trance]

So before you need to talk to her, you need to figure out what it is you want. Don't demand it of her; suggest it to her.

[msc545]

I think you should talk with her about it but be very careful not to offend her. Simply telling her what you want and need without any judgment involved would probably be your best strategy. Again, be very gentle and very careful.

[bigstic507]

Yes you should

[Anonymous]

So what exactly is she doing or not doing that is leaving you unsatisfied? What should she change? Is there anything? Or it it just her? If the latter, don't tell her because you'll just be hurting her feelings over nothing.

[Asker]

I'm not sure what she could do more, she's beautiful and has good moves but for some reason I never enjoy it, maybe I'm stressed

[Opinion Owner]

Then the problem is you, not her. Don't make her feel like it's her.

[Opinion Owner]

I have to ask, are you gay?

[Asker]

Nope and I'll never be, I enjoyed sex with other girls

[Opinion Owner]

Then you're with the wrong girl. Or perhaps more accurately, she's with the wrong guy.

[Asker]

That's not true, she makes me happy otherwise and I make her happy on everything. But yeah, you are comfirming me it'd be just better I shut up about it

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah

[Asker]

Good advice

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck