Do you all believe that in order to be more comfortable with sexual intimacy you need to have it more each time?

[Anonymous]

I mean like noone was born an expert and a pro and the more you do it the more you earn experience, right?

What can you honestly say about a man who ignored, and ghosted a lady, just because she told him that in order to enjoy more of his company, she needed to get used to it each time she sees him and also told h im that she would like to eat and drink first like a date, you know a normal kind of date setting before the fun like to be more at ease.
The guy seem got turn off to the lady beacuse she told him this: " Sometims I feel like making out with you heavily but lets go out and have some drinks first. Me, jumpy? (she text a question mark indeed, like inquiring him) Well, you know this is all new for me, I have to get used to it so I can enjoy more of your company"

The lady and the guy twice before had sex already but it was just 2 times, and in those 2 times the lady was jumpy right in the act and the guy seem not enjoy that from her much. For him the big turn off was her being jumpy in the act the 2 times they both may had had sex, cause he could not enjoy himself well at the penetration. But like she told him inthe following weeks, if she was jumpy probably was because she was new to all the sexual intimacy so she need to get use to it an the only way for that was to see him in a more often basis to get comfortable each time in his company. Noone was born an expert in sex that takes practice and frequency and in 2 dates noone was already a super experienced, and in 2 or 3 dates a person could still be a little nervous cause it is only 2 times or 3 times of sex before.

Why a guy can't understand that? A woman needs to be treated a little bit slowly. We get turn on in a different way and mode.

What do you think of this guy who ghosted the lady cause it seemed her answr did not fullfill what he wanted on HIS time. Was he being selfish, or full of himself, or egotistitcal, just thought of his needs or what kind of a man was he?

[Berethor]

The guy had expected that lady to have the gift, but the lady don't have the gift, and it was mostly the lady's fault that she didn't sex with the guy more often, so it was lack of quality and quantity, and lack of the gift and lack of practice, so how the lady had expected to improve with that much negative factors? and why the lady is surprised that the guy had lost interest in her? anyway at that point it's speaking ill of the dead. Yes the guy was not the best teacher in the world, despite the fact that he was very experienced, but the lady was also a poor student, the lady didn't shown enough enthusiasm for practicing sex with the guy, and the lady didn't made enough efforts to try to overcome her jumpiness, and now that the guy pass on, the lady was left with a lack of experience, the lady clearly didn't made the most out of her time with the guy, and the lady can't tell that she did the maximum from her side, because she clearly didn't, and yet the lady is trying to drop all the blame on the guy.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheGift

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpeakIllOfTheDead

[Rocco7070]

No, intimacy is different every time, some guys eat pussy some dont, etc, etc. Sex acts aren't any mor intimate the 500th time than the 1st. When someone nature built just for your body is used to work together and make your body his, and vise versa thats intimacy, and it grows into different things, do what both of you need,

[Asker]

So why this guy was like that with me? He was selfiosh only tho think in his needs rather than mine? I mean I mean for me I sense that me being jumpy was a total turn off for him and also the reason that I told him that if I was jumpy the 2 prvious times was beause all of the sex stuff was new for me so I have to get used to enjoy more of his company. So I mean how can I could had gained experience and be less jumpy each time if he is not givent me the chance to be with him? isn't taht contradictory?

[andy530]

Yes practice and exposure to that level and kind of intimacy helps reduce anxiety around it. That being said some people have more deep seeded issues around sexual intimacy that need additional work aside from increased exposure that’s why there are couples and sex therapists

[Asker]

So why this guy was like that with me? He was selfiosh only tho think in his needs rather than mine? I mean I mean for me I sense that me being jumpy was a total turn off for him and also the reason that I told him that if I was jumpy the 2 prvious times was beause all of the sex stuff was new for me so I have to get used to enjoy more of his company. So I mean how can I could had gained experience and be less jumpy each time if he is not givent me the chance to be with him? isn't taht contradictory?

[andy530]

Yeah you need to be with a partner who will be patient and willing to go slow and help you for it to work

[Asker]

Sadly and unfortunately that guy is the one I was very hooked on, the guy who for the first time in my life made me feel butterflies in my stomach and my skin always had goosebumps when I was around him. The one I lost my virginity with and the one who I was just happy each time I see him. I said unfortunately the guy is no longer in this earth. He passed away one month ago at the young age of 47

[andy530]

Aw I’m so sorry to hear that