Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Would you rather a potential partner fetishize you or not really be into your ethnicity but find you exceptional?

One thing I’ve noticed is that guys I tend to like, whether black or white, fetishize me for being latina. And I’m okay with that as long as they get that I have the temper too. Don’t expect the Spanish without this temper 👌🏼
But my point is that they either fetishize me (usually), or it’s more like “I’ve never really been into latinas, but you stand out to me.”
And I get that the bad thing about fetishizing somebody is that you’re obviously assuming the typical stereotypes are 100% true, but again I’m kind of okay with it because I pretty much do fit it so 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 and if he loves me for that and also who I am then I’m having the cake and eating it too lol
But there are some who apparently haven’t really been into latinas but apparently find me exceptional, and I don’t really get that because like I said I don’t see myself exceptional in that category. I see how he can love me for me, but that doesn’t explain why he’s never been into latinas. Or am I just overthinking that part? That part I kinda don’t like, because my whole family is Hispanic, obviously, and that’s kind of a problem-starter, I think, since my family means so much to me. I think if he’s less open to the culture then we might have a problem.
I’d rather my partner have a fetish toward me.
Vote A
I’d rather my partner not really like that but find me exceptional.
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
A lot of very different views so thanks for sharing your views 💕
2 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • I find the term white to be racist. I am of Northern European descent, which is fetishized by some. Some people ask if I am mixed (another racist term). I get a decent tan because of my partially Baltic ancestry, but my ancestry pretty much covers all of Northern Europe. It's nice to have women attracted in general, but it gets weird if it is about skin color. I strive not to think about such things, but people and society constantly bombard me with that crap. I see things as genetics and epigenetics, we are all the same race Human, but we have different epigenetics. My oldest brother married a Peruvian woman and my third oldest Brother married a Dominican Woman. I get a lot of interest from Korean, Vietnamese, and African American women. Though I live in a big city, I don't know that many women from Central American or South American Heritage. The Korean women I know share beliefs, but the other women were women from work. I don't believe all these women were interested in me because of my heritage, but some of them it appeared so. Personally, there are features I like from different backgrounds. I tend to notice Middle Eastern and Asian women more, as I like Long Black hair and less makeup, but I do like (what I call) broccoli hair on African American women. I am conservative and sadly I meet very little African American conservative women. All the African American women I know are into pot and are liberal. If you feel a rejection of culture is of you, then it's probably best you avoid a relationship like that. If I believe she's only into me because of appearance, it's over before it began.

  • I don't know if being fetishised would be "better", but it would certainly be *easier*. She can always come for the fetish but stay for my personality. But if she dislikes me for being of a particular race, then it's an upwards battle from there. And frankly I'm not even sure I believe "race fetishising" is really a thing. I think people can view "outsiders" from their own race/nationality as having a more "exotic" appeal. But when I think "fetish", I associate that term with an unusually specific fixation, like foot fetishes, or those people who are sexually attracted to theme park rides. Having more attraction to a particular type lf physical appearance doesn't seem specific/niche enough to classify as a fetish. It just seems like a "preference" to me.

    • Makes sense. Thank you

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yeah, I get pretty turned off when I flat out hear that a guy has "yellow fever" or starts a convo/uses a pick up line to draw out my ethnicity/race. No, just no. Perhaps it's cause I'm the opposite of you and don't fall into the racial norm stereotypes one would suspect - I actually go against them lol. Probably why I'm an "outsider" to the vast majority of Asian guys that aren't westernized. I've mainly attracted non east Asian men.

    I didn't grow up with a nuclear family, I'm not religious, I'm not ethnically cultured nor have roots to my history, I'm an Asian mutt and don't fluently speak any Asain languages - more so a splatter here and there, my aunties say I'm more outspoken than I should be lol, I despised math and sciences - and actually worked my ass off getting tutored and studying to engrain what I needed to learn to get into nursing - there was no initial natural desire...

  • I picked B. I've never been fetishized for my race, but for my body type (busty, I guess you'd call it?). That was all my first ex could talk about concerning me, I had a couple of other weird comments about it, and there was a guy once who I thought would finally be the first one to like me for the person I am, but then he started making comments about how badly he'd like to motorboat me. 🙄 I'd rather have someone like me for more than just some dumb fetish or fantasy I would fulfill for them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 28

  • I voted B. Being stereotyped is a massive turn off and if his attraction was based on a fetish I’d worry about him ditching me for any girl of my ethnicity.

    • That’s valid this actually happened to me before

  • I think people get drawn too the blue eyed big boobs blonde stereotype and umm I'd rather them be into me for me... Why my username is what it is... Cuz I want to be seen as more than just boobs or butt of blonde hair, I do also have a brain.. Even if it does slightly malfunction from time to time 🤪🤣

    • 🤣well that’s part of the blonde stereotype too, you know I’m jk LOL but yeah that would be ideal, and it happens definitely, but not half as much as I get fetishized 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • 🤣🤣 no worries I play the ditzy blonde card when know did something stupid great excuse lololol but it does happen a lot to me.. people should be into you for you just because your a great person they can like your ethnicity but it should be more than a fetish why someone wants to be with you...

    • Well, I don't know if you’ve read any of my other stuff on here, but uhhhh... *cough* ... I have a fetish too... and uhhmmm... it’s guys of your ethnicity. Lol I’m so into Scandinavian men. And I’m totally with you in your point on this, but blonde men DO attract me the most and fastest. So I don’t wanna sound like a hypocrite here 😂

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  • id never gave a shit about if my partner had a fetish about me , what ever made him love me, I'd didn't had the nerve to feel picky being 204 or 6'8 tall , I just love him for being into me, if it were my height or my body shape or my good nice face it all came out in same result. ... But it shouldn't be my look or height he what to stay for but my personality, and until my tiny hubby still love me on the 11 th year, so fetish or not hel keot med

  • I'd prefer for someone I'm interested in to have a fetish toward my race instead of not being attracted to my race.

  • I'd like her to fetishize me and find me exceptional among her prefered type.
    Latina women are on my list of different women I desire, but I would also fall in love her as an individual.

    • So both... That’s a good point! Why didn’t I think of that 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • Thanks. Yeah, I would embrace her fetish because I have racial fetishes myself and for me it's a positive thing. It doesn't affect my ability to love women as individuals and be loyal to them. It's just an incredibly strong physical attraction for certain women that I truly enjoy having. It's part of who I am at this point.

  • Fetishising obviously comes from a form of admiration and understanding of the culture in a sense. They are drawn to that type of person and then explore more abiut the person on an individual Level and get to fall for them more. I'd rather someone be into or drawn to the type I fit into then be drawn in more as they get to know me

  • I'd be open to whatever makes us draw closer together. If she has an ethnic fetish, I'll let her have that fetish but if she wants something else or something more meanful to her we can do that too. But from my end. If she is sexy British, Irish, or Spanish I would just have fun being playful with that. Not completely and maybe even not at all.. I'm looking for a nerd so if a girl has a star's wars or Harry Potter thing, maybe that's how we are playful. It does not need to be only one focus... Whatever is special to us

    • Wow... Two girls down voted me 😞 But thank you for the upvote yads

    • Maybe they don't like nerds? I don't know 😂

    • If they are nerd haters whatever... 🙄

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  • Now you got me thinking of different fetishize. Like that red heads are crazy at sex and have no souls. Like latinas can move and cook 😋 got that nice body

  • I’m not sure how to answer but as a Latina guys from different backgrounds are always into me for my looks they don’t always know I’m Latina but it’s common for them to fetish’s you, I don’t think it means they assume the stereotypes (not in my case bc I come from a very white area and was raised by the white part of my family my Father’s) it just means they are into the looks.
    I have never had them say I was the exception ethnically thou, in other ways maybe. A lot of guys that are into me date other races I assume. I am very Petite Latina but over 5ft, but culturally I did not grow up Latin if that makes sense.

  • i grew up white. we were taught to one day marry white people. i can't say i fetishize them but some are really hot. after high school i was introduced to a world where i encountered latinas. that sort of was a fetish for me. there are some hot latinas out there. unfortunately, they were also taught to go for white men

    • That depends on location... lol Generally we aren't taught to go for white men. Where are you from? Because I'm not saying it isn't common, but in most places it's either suggested that you go for whom you love or stick with your own. And for you, why is that unfortunate?

    • i grew up in Austin, TX. i didn't see more than a couple of hispanics until high school. those hispanics were the children of janitors and kitchen workers that worked at the school. i didn't really know what being hispanic was like and what the girls looked like. i think that's very unfortunate because i am attracted to them

    • I still don't get how you say it was unfortunate for you if they were taught to go for white men

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  • A, and it’s not remotely close. B is almost a dealbreaker. A is a benefit. The more qualities each of us has that the other likes/admires/lusts after, the better.

    sure you don’t want to be -only- their fetish and have them not see you as anything else. That’s bad. But the problem isn’t you turning them on in that situation, the problem is not connecting in any other ways.

    having someone not be into some part of you, especially sexually, but overlooking it isn’t romantic, it’s a recipe for problems.

    • I agree!

  • Definitely A.

  • I don't really like either of those, but I'd rather not be a kink.
    I don't really fetishize any ethnicity or race. I just love the differences between them that make them uniquely attractive.

  • I am white, and I prefer latinas, I also like black women. I don't really think it's a fetish as much as a type.

    • Sounds maybe accurate 🤔

    • That sounds right

  • I have dated only white and hispanic girls.


    But it does not mean I would never date a black or Asian girl.


    That’s just the way the cookie crumbles

    • Aren’t you latino anyway?

    • I am yes

    • I thought so :) So you know that apparently Asians aren't really into us anyway. Or is it just me they don't like lol

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  • Is there a middle option? Where you really like and appreciate the other person for their ethnicity and culture, but not to the point of actually fetishizing them? Something that's more rational and in the middle? Because that's where I would land

    • Obviously that’s ideal, but that pretty much only comes from guys of my own ethnicity. I guess that’s self-explanatory though.

    • And I don’t have a problem with guys of my own. I’ve had experiences with them too. But I think you get the idea

    • Yeah, I do get the idea. And I'm happy to report that it isn't just men from your own ethnicity who feel that way. I really appreciate Latinas, both for the physical look and the culture. But it's certainly not to the point of fetishizing them. I've had Latinas be interested in me before, and I was not interested in return. You have to have that spark. That connection. You know what I mean? Otherwise, it's just another friendly girl

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  • I don't get the question but, if it helps, while I find Latinas more attractive than than some other women, I don't fetishize them. I just think that Latinas and other people who share the same beauty characteristics are just as attractive as everyone else I find attractive.

  • I am white and Native American and I prefer Latina women for many different reasons.

  • My current boyfriend is white most of them have been. I’ve had horrible experiences with fetishizing and I’m able to pick that up now on a simple date by asking certain questions. So I won’t date men that have some sort of weird black girl fetish. Neither in my opinion of your question sound good. 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • Um, I would rather be exceptional. If they are only attracted to a stereotype instead of the individual, then they could easily leave you for anyone else that fills that stereotype. I think it makes you more disposable.

  • Show More (16)

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