Help... I’m ashamed to masturbate?

[Anonymous]

so I’m a 14 year old Chinese expat girl, and I am addicted to masturbating, but I’m ashamed to do it. I have been home alone when I was 12 and I was bored, so I played some phone games and had porn click ups. I didn’t know what it was and it let me to a porn site, I was curious but also a bit grossed out. One of the most searched things on there were “girl masturbating” so I clicked on it for fun and saw these videos of girls masturbating. I had a wtf face on for a couple minutes but then wondered if it feels good. I started to imitate the girls in the videos and I found it really enjoyable. I masturbated once a week back then in the shower but fast forward 2 years I do it almost every day. It’s just so addicting and I love the feeling of it, but after I orgasm I feel a lot of worrying and guilt, as if I’m a freak or a pervert. my parents are strict Chinese Christians who believe that you can’t have sex before you are married and I heard masturbating is like sex, so I felt even more ashamed. I am tall (5’11, or 180cm) and I am naturally skinny and whenever I masturbate my bones crack, is it normal? I want to lose my virginity before marriage and get a boyfriend when I’m a bit older but that guilt always comes back. What should I do? Sorry for my English I live in Europe.

[btbc92]

If you know that you're not okay with what you're doing, that means you're being convicted of sin. Masturbation is spiritual fornication. And that is not pleasing to God. Why you doing that you're not only jeopardizing your virginity and your innocence, but you're going to go off of it make it very hard for you to enjoy actual sex when you choose to actually have it. It is better for you to wait until you are married to have sex. And not be trying to so-called test drive and then screw yourself up. This kind of stuff affects you your entire life if you are not careful. And buy you already doing it to yourself already you have no idea what you will have to live with and go through if you don't stop. Only God can really help you with that. But I'd end of the day you have to want to get rid of it and you got to make a conscious choice to not do it again. You have to not accept doing those things and you don't do those things. If you say you feel ashamed of doing it, then why do you continue to do it? You have to stop. If you know you can't do it on your own, which obviously you cannot do, again, you have to give that to God. And he will give you the ability to be able to stop. Would you have to be able to want it, and you have to do it for yourself first. Because if you don't do it for yourself first, how you going to be able to do it for your husband if you truly do want to get married? You don't want to just get a boyfriend and then just get a husband. You want to make sure you're looking for a husband. Either you want a husband or you want a boyfriend. Whatever you choose, the masturbation has to stop.

[Asker]

I will do my best to stop masturbating but it’s like.. it’s so addicting... however I will try to stop myself from masturbating and have sex once I’m married

[btbc92]

You don't just try you actually do. You have to give that to God, and you have to allow him to be able to help you stop. It doesn't just happen overnight for some people. But it happens overnight for a few. If you are truly willing to let it go, God can do what he has to do to remove that from you. But while he removes it from you, you have to remove everything else out of your life physically so that way you are not tempted to do it ever again. Put a parental block on every adult site you can find, and start learning to wean yourself away from it. Every single time you feel like you want to masturbate, find something else for you to do. Learn new language, read a book, take a walk, play a game, do some puzzles, do your homework, pray, there are many things that you can do. Having sexual urges is normal, for what's not normal is when you have in that happen all the time and you have no control over that. Then that's when you know you have a problem. But above all else please wait and please don't do it anymore. Because it not only makes God sad when you do that, you don't want to hurt your future or your future family. Because you don't want to wait until you are married to finally try to do something, because that can possibly cause a problem in your marriage and I don't want to see you with that problem.

[JesseCraft07]

This is what talking to an obsessed religious person feels like Asker, they don't listen lol. Asker if you like it then keep doing it, it's totally normal @btbc92 she's a teenager you need to understand that teenagers like to masturbate because it's a great stress reliever and it just feels good

[btbc92]

Nobody here is obsessed, nobody hears religious, and at the end of the day if you don't like what's being said, you do not have to comment. I'm sorry last I checked I was a teenager myself. And even I know better you don't masturbate. She is very young and she does not want to masturbate anymore. So number one it is has nothing to do with it being a stress reliever. There are many ways you can relieve your stress. She wants to get married, so you don't want to screw her life up I'm like the rest of you people. That's not something that you do. She don't want to do it, so stop trying to force her to want to continue doing it. You're already helping her to her her stuff. Because you don't give a damn about her, or what she really wants. If you like doing it, that's your business. She does not want to do it anymore. So stop trying to force her to continue doing something that she does not want to do.

[JesseCraft07]

@btbc92 she's never said she doesn't like it lol. She says she enjoys doing it she's just worried that her family will be disappointed. If you actually listened then you would know that, so if I was you I'd just be quiet. You're the one trying to guilt her by making her think masturbating and having sex before marriage is a bad thing by calling it a "sin". She can live her life however she wants to! Sins are stupid rules that just limits you from things in your life which isn't okay! There I've said my piece, now go away

[btbc92]

First of all she says that she does not like doing it pay attention to what is being said. I ain't here guilt-tripping her into nothing. No I think you better go away you are my comment feed. And I don't have to go anywhere just because you say so. And first of all she already filled this way. So you can pretty much stop now. Many statistics and scientific reports has actually shown that having premarital sex before marriage does increase the chance of having a divorce. But her having sex before marriage, and masturbating before marriage, if not just masturbating at all, she is ruining her sex life already. As I said you don't give a damn about how she really feels. And what she wants. No she has to live her life the way she needs to. It has nothing to do about what she wants. She wants marriage, she wants to have a family, she want to have a good sex life, then she got to do it the right way, or else she's going to suffer. And I'm not going to lie to her just because you just want to go around making everybody like you. Messed up and miserable.

[btbc92]

That's what getting married is for. Then when she can't get married, then when she can't be happy with her sex life, then if she ends up in the divorce, are you going to be there to help her through it All? You know damn well you wouldn't. I was a teenager myself, I had been through puberty no different than any other homeowner teenager. And I still never touch myself. Because I knew better. Because I knew the significance of what sex is, and I understood about keeping myself pure both mind body and spirit. And I wouldn't dare be touching somebody who already like touching themselves because they will never be satisfied with you sexually. So you keep on dreaming and thinking about that is probably why so many of you have so many partners and you're still not satisfied. So stop trying to make it out like religion just don't want to see you happy. Because at the end of the day it's a choice. I knew better to wait until you are married to have sex. I would have been married at 18 if I really desire to have that life. She is only fourteen years old. She only has four more years ago and she can make that legal decision to have a marriage or not. So why in the world would you want to jeopardize her, and sabotaged her life is because many you are so miserable? You better seriously use your brain and think about that. Sex is not the problem. What you choose to do with it and how you choose to use it is. And masturbation is called a sin for a good reason. she ain't going to lose her sex drive or be unhappy just because she won't do it. It's people like you who shame those who don't do it.

[JesseCraft07]

Lol clearly you aren't even trying to listen so I'm just going to block you, I can't stand people who believe in sins and just refuse to listen. So get lost 👋👋👋

[btbc92]

I don't give a rat's behind if you want to block me or not. Take your little girly behind off my feed. I think you're the one who needs to learn to listen, and learn to have some respect for people. At the end of the day God is in control. You don't like it take a hike!

[btbc92]

You're 17 year old and you already act ignorant. Bye bye.

[JesseCraft07]

God is made up lol. Plus why would I give a crap about it? Look at all the horrible things that have happened this year! If it was real then why do you want to please it when it clearly doesn't care at all about us, that is just funny that you worship something that isn't real and doesn't even care about us, get a life 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[JesseCraft07]

You're just an obsessed loser 😂🤣

[btbc92]

I thought you was going to block me why you come back? I think you need to get yourself a life instead of constantly harassing somebody that you claim you don't like? And I'm sorry to tell you buddy. God is very much real, God does very much care about people. If you don't care about God, that's your business. But you could take it up with him when it's your time to leave this earth. These things happen because again you people don't want to do what you have to do. What it is that you don't even care and love yourself. And you just want to make somebody Miserable as you. Little boy you better learn to grow up. Cuz you have yet to become a man.

[JesseCraft07]

Lol I'm not going to get insulted by a brainwashed moron, bye bye 👋

[Asker]

Omg what the fuck is going on here I don’t want to stop masturbating I want to keep masturbating but minimize it because I’m afraid of my parents and all, but I enjoy doing it and orgasm feels amazing but I have guilt because that “sin” my parents have told me about

[btbc92]

Continue to make yourself look like a fool. You keep saying bye bye but you keep coming back you must love it. So I'll just do you and I have favor. adios!

[JesseCraft07]

@Secret6620 a funny chat with with a god obsesser, hope you can get some laughs out of this like I have 🙂😂

[btbc92]

@Asker No sweetie you have guilt because that guilt is already there. Nobody has to tell you that it's a standing order for you to feel guilt we are all born with knowledge of Good and Evil. If you want to continue that that's on you, but do not be expecting to be having the future that you want and think is going to go your way like that if you continue on that app Penny I am telling you this by people who already have experience, and if you're not careful you going to end up with more problems. What you're doing is like I said you are rewiring your brain into things that you're not going to be happy with. Your parents are telling you the right thing. They are your parents. They are the one that had sex. They had you. And now you are here. So who are you going to really listen to? Your parents who had you and no more than you do, or people who are doing the same thing that you are doing, and don't even know what in the world are they doing or care to. You make the choice.

[btbc92]

Don't even bother asking her because she's blocked for five years. And you're going to be next.

[Jac2424]

Don’t be ashamed, it’s perfectly normal!
There is nothing wrong with exploring sexual feelings and discovering how it all works.
Porn is great but understand that it is an idealised version of sex. Not all sex is like that especially when you’re young and learning.
I think that staying a virgin until marriage is a horrible idea!! Sex is a very important and extremely enjoyable part of life and marrying someone that you don’t have sexual chemistry with is a recipe for disaster!
Do whatever feels right for you and don’t let anyone shame you!

[TisTheTruth]

What she said..

[Asker]

Okay I will try! I hope my parents don’t find out

[TisTheTruth]

There are lots of articles online on the benefits of masturbation and how to approach it in a healthy way. Please read up on these

[centerline]

WHY do you feel ashamed?
when people are young, they can have inhabitions that have been handed down by their parents... as happened to me when was when I was in my early teens

these inhabitions are only an opinion based on someone elses way of wanting to live, and should have nothing to do with you.

its your little cooter, and you can do with it what you want... just dont get in trouble...

it would be irresponsible of me to suggest that you find a partner and have sex, but it seems like some of your guilt stems from wanting to do just that, yet masturbating instead, and feeling bad about it afterwards because you are still left with your lonely self... find a boyfriend (or a girlfriend) and enjoy yourself with companionship and conversation until you are ready to have sex... some of the conversations could be about sex and similar enlightening subjects... education comes in many forms, and only educating yourself on the subject will rid you of the guilt feelings...

[simonqq]

Masturbating is nothing bad and during your puberty you can experience being very horny and usually it calms down a bit with time when your hormones aren't going like crazy.

Feeling guilt is also common but it is nothing you need to feel, you aren't doing anything wrong by masturbating.

If you are scared of being addicted try and jump over one day of masturbating. At your age I was the same and I masturbated 3-5 times a day and it's still something I do very regularly. I can say that this is very different from individual to individual and some maybe never masturbate while some are like us or "worse".

Be careful with porn sites and don't click on the ads if you do accidentally click on them just close it. I personally would recommend xhamster as I feel it's very safe.

If you have any more questions feel free to follow me or message me.

[Asker]

Yes thank you!

[ohshee]

This is a very hard question because of your age and it just feels weird ,, if you want I have a friend on here that when she was 12 things happen to her. She's mow 23 but reading every thing you said reminds me of her she loves to talk to me about it but she's of age but if you want I can give you her page and I know she could help you in a heart beat I can say most of us on here are the same as you we all started early but I hear you so yah Send me I massage I Wil send you her page I can't put it on here because I have o respect my friend

[Berethor]

You live in Europe? well that explain how the porn site in your computer was not blocked by the chinese government. Well you already masturbated for 2 years, there is no stopping you at that point. Masturbation is no sex, that's why you are still virgin, if you would have sex before marriage it would be more nasty, I think that you better wait until marriage, a masturbation is a lesser evil in comparison to having sex before marriage. :)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ProperLady

[abc3643]

Do not feel ashamed or feel guilt.

You are normal and boys will be attracted to you.

Also, the cracking of your pubic symphysis joints is common.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask or PM if you wish.

[Brian___1731]

It's okay, usually many feel guilty after they relapse but I'd suggest stay away from the porn cuz it's like an idealistic version and not real. Maybe use your imagination or some erotic books or something next time, that'll be better. It's natural to masturbate, don't worry

[slatyb]

You are definitely not a freak or pervert. You are completely normal. Almost everyone does it. You should accept that masturbation is normal and healthy and you should not feel ashamed. I wouldn't worry about the bone cracking unless it's painful.

Almost every day? That's also perfectly normal. Twice a day is normal. It's only a problem if you are masturbating so much that you can't complete school work or other important activities.

Your English is very good. And it's your life, not your parents. You don't have to be bound by their religious beliefs. You can respect them, but you don't have to behave according to their wishes. Your sex life, now and in the future, is not for them to know.

[Tobi_Lerone]

I don't see a problem. It's just natural and also healthy to masturbate. There is nothing you habe to be ashamed. I think most people did it a lot if they were younger

[Dargil]

Help me to offer an opinion. Do you follow a religion or have a family tradition to one?

[LemiaOfTheCodes]

Why are you ashamed to masturbate? Its only naturally your discovering your sexuality and part of that is discovering your genitals.

[kemo56]

I wonder more about what you meant about bones cracking...

Everybody masturbates I was raised and a very strict religious home and I know what you mean I felt guilty and you know there is the religion aspect weather quote it's going to send you the hell or not but none of us are perfect that's not making excuses but God made us want sex and when you don't have a partner that can b real frustrating if you don't relieve that tension is that any different really than if you've got a muscle cramp that needs to be massaged I don't know I think you should just relax and enjoy it not feel guilty and I mean part of it is you're getting to know your body and in that will help your partner because you can tell them guide them to do the things that feel the best for you but I hate to advise you to do that because you know it is a spiritual decision and it is a has to do with you and your husband

[JosyJosy]

if it makes you feel bad, don't do it

[Asker]

The thing is I enjoy doing it but later feel ashamed and I don’t know how to stop

[JosyJosy]

See what feeling outweighs the other and commit.

[Sapioit]

Also, you can simply try to do it less, even if you don't stop entirely.

[bigpappaforu]

It's a natural thing to do trust me ur not the only one if it makes u feel good just do it

[Browneye57]

No one has to know. It hurts nothing and no one. Learning your own sexual response is never wrong - when you have a mate you'll actually be able to show them what gets you off. Too many women have no clue, and simply expect their new lover to know.
Enjoy yourself, take charge of your life, and live it for YOU - no one else.

[es20490446e]

What are the bad consequences of masturbating?

[JKingOff]

Message me and we can talk further. The sounds like a very personal matter to you and I think you would feel more comfortable if we private messaged each other.

[coolaboola]

Never, ever be ashamed to masturbate. Its healthy and fun. Only downside might be is if it becomes your life. I masturbate 2 or 3 times per day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Your body is changing and flooding with hormones. Its natural to explore as long as it doesn't become a "drug". Enjoy it. Its fun.

[Iron_Man]

Stop doing it and watching porn and you shouldn’t have sex until marriage

[Asker]

Okay I guess... but I’m addicted and it’s hard to not masturbate

[Iron_Man]

@JesseCraft07 Don’t ever come back here again he’s sorry ass Low moral punk

[naraku]

Never be ashamed or embarrassed. It's good for your body and self (mentally and emotionally).

[Wise4myage]

You should never be afraid to explore your own body, so don't bother resisting the temptation. Just be careful when and where you do it.

[Quidthonian]

No need to feel ashamed. It is a natural process during growing up. You are experimenting with your body. Addiction means if the activity interferes with your life. I don't think you are addicted to it yet.
Enjoy your body (in secret)!

[TisTheTruth]

Is normal. Don't feel guilty because you've not done anything wrong. Try developing a healthier attitude towards masturbation. Try reading up about it online

[Asker]

Yep it’s just my parents have this mindset of: sex before marriage = disgrace sin to god and masturbation is a type of sex so I have felt as if I’m committed a sin but I just want to explore myself more

[TisTheTruth]

I'm not a Christian but in the end denying your body it's pleasure and having some peace of mind through that isn't wrong. By not masturbating you're gonna develop a very wrong impression of sex