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Help... I’m ashamed to masturbate?

Anonymous
so I’m a 14 year old Chinese expat girl, and I am addicted to masturbating, but I’m ashamed to do it. I have been home alone when I was 12 and I was bored, so I played some phone games and had porn click ups. I didn’t know what it was and it let me to a porn site, I was curious but also a bit grossed out. One of the most searched things on there were “girl masturbating” so I clicked on it for fun and saw these videos of girls masturbating. I had a wtf face on for a couple minutes but then wondered if it feels good. I started to imitate the girls in the videos and I found it really enjoyable. I masturbated once a week back then in the shower but fast forward 2 years I do it almost every day. It’s just so addicting and I love the feeling of it, but after I orgasm I feel a lot of worrying and guilt, as if I’m a freak or a pervert. my parents are strict Chinese Christians who believe that you can’t have sex before you are married and I heard masturbating is like sex, so I felt even more ashamed. I am tall (5’11, or 180cm) and I am naturally skinny and whenever I masturbate my bones crack, is it normal? I want to lose my virginity before marriage and get a boyfriend when I’m a bit older but that guilt always comes back. What should I do? Sorry for my English I live in Europe.
Help... I’m ashamed to masturbate?
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