SURVEY: What is TMI on the first date to you?

Question

TMI: Too Much Information

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I voted C. It's a real turn off when someone just prattles on about them self or just talks too much in general. It's a bad sign - either insecurity, egotism, or just poor social skills. It's like they are either desperately trying (and failing) at selling their self, or they just like to hear their self talk, as if they think they are fascinating.
Some people just don't know how to converse, to ask questions, show interest in the other, and find common interests to talk about.

Another turn off would be confessions - treating their date like a counselor to whom they pour out their innermost insecurities, angst and past failings. Your date isn't a shrink or your parent or your BFF. Insecurity is unattractive. It shows weakness, not vulnerability.

I don't want to hear about previous relationships. Doing so would imply that your date was either not over them or had not repaired the psychic damage they caused. If you are on a date, you should start fresh, put the past behind you and be open to bright new possibilities.

Going into discussion about personal sexual kinks and preferences on a first date could be a red flag, too. Not that the topic of sex should be off limits. It's great to flirt, let them know that you find them attractive, and even discuss general interest in sex. I like to know if my date has a strong libido.
But to come right out with graphic stuff would signal that the person is hung up on sex or that the purpose of the date is to hook up and get your freak on. Not that there is anything wrong with going on a date for that purpose, but it's kind of shallow and indicates a lack of interest in your date as a person. It doesn't bode well for the possibility of any relationship.

SuccessfulHornDog · Accepted Answer

Discussing possible names for our future children In depth discussion of her menstrual cycle Talk of what her last boyfriend like her to do with his butt Explaining why she enjoys fisting.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Probably A, B, and C... I mean talk, but if you only talk about just one subject the whole evening 🤷🏼‍♀️ Talk about yourself I mean that's one way to get to know you, but also make sure you're also trying to get to know me so let me talk and also really listen and engage in actual conversation... And the only way sex should be brought up is to clarify, agree both parties understand sex isn't happening on the first date (sad it has to even come with that these days, but result of the hook up culture)

jenna92 · Accepted Answer

There's no contest, I had to go with C. If I go on a date with someone and they spend the whole night talking about nothing but themselves (especially how much money they make, what kind of car they have) there will definitely be no dates again. I'm not asking that they write my biography or interview me like I'm trying to get a job, but at least ask a few general questions or talk about topics that we can both discuss 😁😁😁

meetkitty123 · Answer

I would have to say it was either Sexual talk on the first date or talk too much about themselves without responding to any of my opinions.

1stranger · Answer

When he gets into sexual matters or talks a lot and idle or always talking about himself on a first date, it turns me off.

Aliceinwonderland22 · Answer

If a date spent the whole time talking about how great they are in bed etc, I would leave... sex isn't that important to me in the great scheme of things.
If they talked about themselves all night, if what they say was interesting I'm good with that :)

KiPanther · Answer

Talking about previous relationships on a first date is TMI

MathewBWC · Answer

Too much talking and not enough kissing. I recently stayed at this woman's house talking until 2am about relationships. To be honest I wanted to kiss her and eventually I got bored and went home.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say this one.

C. Talking all about themselves and not asking about me would make it a first AND A LAST date

Sharing with each other is important that's why we are there... Otherwise just send me a video of you talking the whole time...

We are there to enjoy each others company not one person's company

hotfirework · Answer

Talking about exes.  Going into too much detail about political beliefs.

Finchie40 · Answer

Constantly talking about an ex or negative things they did in the past

Samoht_Sirrom1 · Answer

To me The whole purpose of the first date is to get to know the other person to see whether or not you would be interested in knowing more about them if You tried to limit them then you are in effect and limiting the amount of information you can gain about that person which means you're basically running counter to the purpose of the date in the first place

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

"My ex was so good in bed"  Never actually heard this one IRL but if I ever encounter it I'll run for the hills lol

TCredo · Answer

A, B and/or C would each be some TMI warnings lol... but I picked C because to me that's a deeper personality flaw red flag :)

Kabluie · Answer

TMI means is 'too much irrelevancy' on the first date.

Massageman · Answer

Hearing any more than a quick (15-second?) overview of their ex and why they split.

wondering_guy · Answer

To a girl the guy shouldn't talk too much on sexual stuff, she will be lead to believe that's all he is after. Both side it would be not talking a bout their ex or too much a bout themselves

Bootylicious905 · Answer

Just not letting the lady talk. Some guys think it's either an interview or more like talk host where he does all the talking and date is over where he expects to get a kiss good night when he doesn't even know me.

Iron_Man · Answer

Talking about her past sex life

JimboGB · Answer

Personal issues which take a leap of trust to tell someone.

Jessie91331 · Answer

equal parts, B and C

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I didn't vote. For me, TMI would depend on how I'm vibing with her. There was this one gal last year that we talked about stuff most people would talk about after being exclusive (this was the first day I met her). It felt totally normal.