Sexual Relationships
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I'm ashamed of being a virgin and 17 years old?

Please help me, I have a real problem and I think about it all day.
My parents (especially my mother) told me very often that sex is a bad thing and so on. So I grew up with a completely false mindset and everytime I had sexual taughts I felt bad and dirty. I knew that people had sex, but I taught that women are asexual beings and do sex only for the pleasure of her man or only for making children.
Yes, I know, absolutely crazy😭.
Also there was this campaign called #metoo, where women said things like they don't want to be sexually harrassed and don't want to be touched by men and don't want to be looked at or approached by men.
This strenghted my stupid beliefs😭and because of this I wanted to eradicate my sexuality.
Until January, I started to question this behaviour of me, when I watched a youtube video called "how often do women think about sex" and almost every girl said "every day".
When I talk with girls today, I automatically still forbid myself to think about anything that has to do with sex.
Now, I'm 17 and all my friends had sexual experiences except of me.
Sorry for my bad English but I don't know what to do now. I still think subconciously that sex is bad like the devil and not a normal thing. It can't get out of my head and behaviour.
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • There's no shame in being a virgin. Many do not lose their virginity until older than you. Just because 'everyone has done it' is not a valid reason to conform to their standard. Matter of fact, are you sure that all your friends have 'done it' or is it possible they are bragging to cover their own un-lost and un-given-away virginity?
    There are advantages in being virgin. That way you know you don't have an little 'Anony-minis' toddling around. You know you have not caught any diseases from 'indulging', and you know you have not changed another human being's life for what could well be the worse. I would suggest thinking about what is important to you as a human. Try to forget what the peer pressure is pushing. Along with that, keep on researching, reading and learning so you can know what is right for you. In the long run, it is your life, and no one can live it as well as you can; not your friends, not your mates, and not your parents.
    I'm not saying don't do it. What I'm saying is it's OK to wait until you know it is right for you at a time when it is right for you and for the other person. There is no shame in being honest with yourself.
    As for parents, they have their agendas and believe it or not, sometimes they do not know the damage they do when trying to teach their young the ways of life. You do understand, do you not, that your are the result of (gasp!) sexual activity between your mother and father. Sometimes it is hard to imagine they 'did it' to make you, only to teach you that 'doing it' is wrong. They are doing the best they can. We are not born with a 'child raising manual' attached to us at birth; parents are just as much in the dark, sometimes, as are the kids they are trying to raise.
    But I'm rambling. I shut up soon.
    Just remember; the more you learn, the more you know, the more you question, seek and find answers, the better will be the decisions you make, and the better and healthier you will think and feel.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The dilemma is not peculiar to you only. Most of us have passed through, or passing through this stage. Today's world is no more as it was 3/4 decades before. Conservatism, religious and moral teachings force us to believe that sex, particularly pre-marital sex is sin, but on the other hand, natural desire pushes us to fulfillment of "sinful " desire. Wet dreams and masturbation is the result.
    You are young and naturally want to have sex. Looking around you find great majority of guys and girls enjoying it. Such a situation shatters our sin-minds. While writing it, am myself confused what to say : go to have sex or observe mom's teachings? When I was about your age, same confusion and agony was on my way. At long last, I had to find physical solace in sex, though for a long period I remained in double-minded condition. Sex and sin feeling traveled side by side. The result was: if it is sin, why has it been created by nature? Now I have sex regularly thinking rarely about sin.

    • Thanks for MHG.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The #metoo thing was actually about rape and sexual assault survivors telling their stories, not saying that sex in general is bad. As long as you get consent, sex isn’t a bad thing at all. Also, you’re just 17- it’s perfectly normal to be a virgin at that age.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 10

  • Mate, 17 is nothing. You have more than enough time.

  • Enjoy masterbating for a few more years no shame in the V card

  • Don't be 😁

  • https://youtu.be/ksKeX4BBOJo

  • After reading the dumb nonsense you just wrote, I think your virginity is the last thing you should be ashamed of.

    • Fuck you, I write about my deepest problem and your only response is this. Go to hell fucking psychopath.

    • You could have done that without blaming women and whining about #metoo, you cringebag.

  • I didn't have aex until I was 27.5, and I knew girls liked sex. So it's not a huge problem that you haven't had it yet.

  • what kind of help do you need?

  • You are just 17 so its ok

  • there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's perfectly okay to be 17 and to be a virgin

  • Nothing to be a shamed of

  • Don’t worry about it. I’m older then you and still a virgin. I have high standards and wouldn’t just have sex with any girl. It shouldn’t matter that all your friends have had sex. Same as my friends growing up and those girls were actually feral but they didn’t mind having sex with them. You eventually will find the right girl and she will like you more that you’ve waited and you will also be glad that you have waited. Imagine if you get a girl pregnant that you don’t even like, and you have a kid with them. Pretty much life is screwed. Actions have consequences. Just be patient and wait for the right girl.

  • 17 doesn't seem like an old age to be a virgin , true is people that age having sex but is a lot who haven't yet by 17

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