Well yes I agree. Even though he said I don’t have to answer I still want to answer but I’m scared. This is the whole reason why I made this post. If I’m going to tell him I’m going to be honest about how many partners I’ve had. I’m not going to lie about it. I’m just scared, that’s all.
Well this is why you don't have sex before marriage. I tell people all the time everybody has the right to make judgments. People are too afraid to be honest and authentic, this is how to end up with problems. As long as you are going to tell him, you have to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like the fact that you had whatever Partners you had. But now if he still sticks around even after you tell him, he can't get upset about it later and say he regrets it. Because now you got to hold him accountable for knowing. If he says that you don't have to answer, then he's more concerned about pleasing you than he is about his own integrity and you may have to be careful with that. Because they usually the quickest ones to want to end the relationship, or God forbid cheat with someone else. So if you really feel that way seriously rethink about having a relationship. This is why you don't make decisions you know you're going to regret in future. As long as you understand that now, you are going to have to tell him anyway.
so if i'm 24 and when i was 18 i went through a rough patch with myself and slept with a bunch of guys but was always safe sexually, 7 years later i should still be looked down upon for it? SEVEN years. you discuss morals, but as you grow you learn and understand right from wrong better. that's just like saying you should still be called immature for sneaking out of your house at 16. that day of age is over and you learn and grow. if you used to not have very good morals involving sex, but you're healthy and safe, and learned and grew over the years, you should still have that held against you? when would it not be held against you? when you're 30? 40? 50?
That has nothing to do with it. If you are not a virgin, people still have the right to judge and decide. Remember. THEY are the ones that you want to sleep with. There are many spiritual applications as to why you do not have sex before you are married. Thay gahas nothing to do about days being done and over with. There are consequences. This is why even for myself I am a virgin and no better not to do that before you were married. There are plenty of others that I personally knew that did not wait, that ended up in trouble sexually, and some are still struggling because of their sexual choices. Affected marriages and all. Because once you have sex outside of marriage, you are one with that person. Sex is a marriage and mash is about having sex. When you create spiritual marriages illegally in God's eyes, you are still attached to that person regardless if you bring up. That doesn't just go away, that tends to follow you throughout your life. It is still something that people will still judge. They don't want to have sex with you, and then next thing you know you're not happy sexually, you're judging him based on your sexual performance, which is not something that sex is about. That's why all the more reason you wait. It has less to do what you just being healthy, which of course is very important, and safe is debatable. But where are your sexual standards are. That is key. Because what you have in your system they're going to end up getting into theirs. I know for a fact I would not be with somebody who does not share my values.
Plenty of people went through rough patches that doesn't mean they went around sleeping with people. It is a choice. And you have to understand that according to your choices, you may attract certain people you don't want, and the people that you may want may not be attracted to you. This is why you're taught not to do it. But many of you find it religious so now you have to live with those choices. If you want to avoid that, you can also marry Young. Sex is not a game and it's not a toy. It's not all just about pleasure, or fun, it's serious business. You not only run to higher risk of getting a divorce, you run the risk of God forbid forcing the other person into sexual practices that are not comfortable with imma make them feel like they're not good enough, judge whether or not you are trustworthy, don't even know if they're going to be compared to other partners with nine out of 10 times they will in your subconscious oh, you may not even enjoy having sex with that person because you're going to miss the other seven Partners you were with. Again that doesn't just go away just because you're getting older. By all these experiences from others that are sexually active around me, I can tell you that it's something that I'm glad I never partaken in.
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True but I don’t want a relationship that’s filled with lies. I want to be honest
Yes no lies but it's not a crime to shade the truth
Yea but I feel like he won’t like my answer. What if he thinks it’s too much
You can't change the past.
@socksguy yea that is true but what if he thinks differently or something.
Well, for me, it doesn't matter. If it matters to him, is that someone you want to be with?
Yea you are so right about that. I’m just overthinking I guess
We all overthink. No worries...
@socksguy what he said. But also, anyone who Judges you for having sex isn't a person worth having in your life.
Well thank you so much to the both of you for your great help! 🙂
No problem... keep shining your light.