Is my fiancee right about male vs female nudity?

[Anonymous]

So, due to get married very shortly. I love my girl to bits.

I recently had my stag night out. She could not have been more clearer to both and me and my best man - no strippers. None at all, or I would regret it. We respected her wishes, and still had a great night.

I have just found out from a friend that my fiancee had a male stripper. His girl told him, so he then told me. I felt that was unfair, so I confronted my girl.

She told me, firstly I didn't object to any male stripper. And secondly, she didn't know it would happen.

That seemed reasonable, but I pushed if she suspected her maid of honor would get her a stripper, she was honest and said yes she thought it would happen. She then defended the action though by saying that men seeing a woman naked, is different to women seeing a man naked. She claims the 'sex' element is removed.

Overall, I am not upset she had a stripper. Doesn't really bother me. It does bother me though that she couldn't trust me to have one.

Do you guys think her logic has merit?

[OlderAndWiser]

Her logic has merit. . . to her. I think that is a manipulative, controlling thing to do. What she is saying is that you can trust her but she can't trust you. And her actions are showing that she is willing to deceive you if she feels justified. . . and every liar in the world has a justification for whatever lie they are telling at the moment. She expected it to happen and she knew that if she asked you, you would likely reply that she should follow the same rule that she wanted you to follow, so she just didn't tell you. There are some situations where you have a right to expect your spouse to tell you things and when they omit some important details, it should be treated the same as intentionally misleading you.

Are you sure you want to marry someone who doesn't trust you? Next, it might be, "don't go to lunch with any female co-workers from your office," or you can't stop at a happy hour after work but she can. Frankly, it sounds quite a bit arrogant and condescending to me, and I would be pissed off!

[Asker]

Some good points. She is fantastic in other ways. She is somewhat defensive on female nudity though. Like she doesn't like me watching porn (though she does it herself). However, if ever I feel a need for release, we will either have sex, or she will take care of me in other ways. The female nudity thing really bothers her though. And relationships are about compromise. If she had been honest, I perhaps would have accepted the double standard, because I love her. In this case though, lying by omission, I will be visiting a new topless bar with my mates that has just opened up. She is fuming, but not arguing ;)

[OlderAndWiser]

Her double standard probably relates to some insecurity about her own body and its attractiveness to you. Give her some extra complements and whenever it seems that she may be having an insecure moment, suggest that she check the lie detector in your pants!

[Asker]

Ha ha, great reply. Thank you :) (She is a beaut by the way - breasts to die for ;)

[OlderAndWiser]

Very pretty women can be very insecure. It is a reaction that is not based in logic. Good luck!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Not_Average]

I'd be upset for two reasons, she requested you didn't and doesn't reciprocate. Two, I don't really agree with strippers at bachelor or bachelor parties. Call me boring, but I don't think it's appropriate to have another persons genitalia in your face trying to get you off right before you're about the marry the person you love. Then it causes issues like this right before the big day. If you knew the insides of how many male strippers have sex with these women, you'd be alarmed. We can disagree there though. Her logic has absolutely no merit.

[rachel776]

no this was a shitty thing for her to do. you should back off a bit and make her come back to you and make it up to you (maybe with a 3some with one of her friends? 😏)

[Asker]

Thanks for that. I thought it was bad. I won't be pushing for a threesome lol. Though I did tell her last night that perhaps tonight my mates and I will be going to a new topless bar. She is fuming!

[rachel776]

that's a good one, well done you

[DrippingHoney]

She's right I that we don't see it the same way, but make no mistake about it, she wasn't thinking about baking cookies when Thor the Impaler brought out his sword 😂

[Asker]

Thank you, I know lol. And I have been told she did indeed 'handle his sword'. She admits the double standard. And is sorry about lying by omission. And while upset, she has accepted that my mates and I will be visiting a new topless bar that has just opened up.

[pierre7i]

That she did indeed handle 'his sword' is proof surely that not only was she dishonest by omission in her hypocritical stance over all this but it's absolute proof of her sexual disloyalty to you (imho !)

[Asker]

@pierre7i I understand your point. However, the level of disloyalty is measured subjectively. She shouldn't have done it the way she did it, but the actual act doesn't concern me that much. It was Hen night naughtiness. Before she forbade strippers on my stag, I half expected she would be handling some 'large swords'. I just thought that I would be feeling the firmness of some melons lol. She lied by omission, got caught out. She is very apologetic, and not only made it up to me, but has given me the go ahead 'to get even'. She admits she has a jealousy regarding female nudity. She will work on controlling it going forward, and I will be willing to reasonably compromise.

[pierre7i]

Sorry Asker, but I'm afraid I see things differently: in my opinion she not only diresrepected you but by handling his cock she was sexually disloyal -- maybe not cheating as such but DISLOYAL. And as she did that (which is a sexual act, whichever way you look at it) how can you be sure she wasn't wondering if the cock she was handling might feel nice inside her, maybe she thought it looked nicer than your's and would be more sexually exciting than your's For you to make excuses for her now is admirable but unfortunately I see a cheat down the track, I could never trust her again !!

[Asker]

@pierre7i So the act itself concerns you, as much, if not more than the lying? If she had snaffled a pack of cookies and hid it from me, we would both agree lying about that is forgivable. If she went round a guys house and blew him, then lied about it, that is unforgivable. What she did lays somewhere between the two. Wherenon the spectrum, is a subjective opinion. I don't see naught hen night fun as that bad. Sorry, it's just how I am. I know what I offer a woman, and I full well know I have the right girl that truly knows that, and wants what I offer. I am very confident she would never risk losing me, if I had any doubt I wouldn't be marrying her. I am not making excuses. This is a subjective choice. I could claim that you are maybe a little too insecure, but I don't think that's fair either. In a relationship, boundaries need to be set between the 2. Clearly you would like your boundaries set a little tighter than me. And that's cool. Though clearly our thoughts on boundaries are what is forcing our disagreement. Your cock comment kinds exemplifies that. Of course she is going to wonder what that might be like inside her. That's fantasy. She is allowed to have her own fantasies. Just as I am, and you are. It's if she ever acts on a fantasy without my consent where there will be issues. And I just know deep down she would never do that.

[Agape93]

Yeah, her logic makes zero sense. She’s a hypocrite.

[Rexos]

"the 'sex' element is removed"? What? What does that even mean? No, this argument doesn't make sense.

[Thatsamazing]

Let me see if I'm properly understanding you-- you allowed your female to neuter you, when you didn't need to since she doesn't get to tell you what to do, and then not only did she do that, and you allow it, but afterward SHE got to just do whatever SHE wanted as well, with no pushback from you?

Wow. Sorry to hear about your balls, dude.
"Do you guys think her logic has merit" uhhhh... what logic? Are you an idiot?

[Wise4myage]

Total BS and hypocrisy. Makes me think she doesn't trust you.

[joeldalton]

No merit at all. In fact, it's more likely that a male stripper will fuck girls at a bachelorette party than it is that a girl stripper fucks guys at a bachelor's party

[In_Trance]

no merit at all

[billluc69]

thats a girl for ya

[Anonymous]

Wow, What an asshole. I'd fuck with her and pretend that you're gonna call the wedding off. she sounds like a controlling manipulative asshole

[Anonymous]

You really think that women don't see male strippers in a sexual way? Really?

Next she's gonna be telling you that women cheating isn't the same as men cheating, and it looks like you might just be dumb enough to believe her. If you marry her, it's gonna be nothing but a headache.

[Anonymous]

There is some - little - merit to is as men are usually seen as being way more promiscuous than women.
Things have changed however. The male body is being objectified as well and women have ONS with men they met a few hours ago just because of their looks (abs / dicksize). The number of females on here who are asking qustions along the lines of "how do I finally get him to fuck me" should give you the right impression.
I think her logic is outdated.

[Anonymous]

Nope, she is a hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Tbh, her logic sucks -- and imho she knew there was going to be a male stripper and basically forbade you to 'see' what she was going to see ie opposite sex 'sexual nudity' !

Have you ever seen videos of girls hen night functions when a male stripper is involved? Girls are encouraged to be as raunchy as possible with his usually erect dick including sucking him and in some cases a willing girl ends up fu**ing him to rounds of applause from all the girls who shriek & holler to edge her on

Not saying your girl did anything raunchy with the male stripper but man oh man she really did cheat you !

[Anonymous]

just regular women logic at work

[Anonymous]

Yep my wife did the same thing for our party