Sexual Relationships
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18+ ADULTS ONLY: What is the LOWEST level of interaction of your SO with someone other than you that you would consider to be “cheating”?

Couples usually have some sort of verbal “relationship agreement” (or “understanding”)—based on discussions they’ve had with each other—regarding what types of interactions with people outside of their relationship are either ok, or NOT OK (AND CONSIDERED TO BE “CHEATING”).

The voting options are listed in an increasing number order, representing an increasing degree of interaction with another person.

If you were in a relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse (SO = Significant Other), what is the LOWEST “number-voting-option” that you would consider to be “cheating” if your SO were to do that with someone other than you?

NOTE—If you want, you can also leave a comment saying:
(1) Whether you would consider your SO “just kissing” someone other than you to be “cheating,” and
(2) Whether you would consider your SO’s in-person flirting (with no physical contact) with someone other than you to be “cheating.”
1 - SO online flirting (but NOT sending/asking for revealing pics) with someone else
Vote A
2 - SO online flirting with someone else INCLUDES SENDING/ASKING FOR REVEALING PICS with someone else
Vote B
3 - SO online sex-chatting/phone sexting with someone else
Vote C
4 - So kissing or sexual touching with someone else (NOTE: please leave a comment saying whether “just kissing” would be “cheating”)
Vote D
5 - SO having oral sex with someone else
Vote E
6 - SO having sexual intercourse with someone else
Vote F
7- ALL OF THESE THINGS happening between my SO & someone other than me ARE OK (“NONE ARE CHEATING”)
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • This one is obviously cheating. The others are more severe examples of cheating. If there is any expression of romantic or physical interest in someone other than your significant other, it's cheating. The point of a relationship is to reserve these feelings and "benefits" for your significant other and NO ONE else. If someone else is receiving these benefits whether it's inside or outside your partner's knowledge, it's cheating unless you and your partner agreed to having an open relationship, but usually those kinds of relationships don't go well because of jealousy looming in the background.

    • Everyone & every couple is different; therefore “cheating” is not the same for all couples—cheating is based on what the couple together agree ARE or ARE NOT allowed to be done with people outside of the couple’s relationship. You mentioned “open relationship”—couples can agree to having one of two types of these... OPEN RELATIONSHIP“ allowing everything online & in-person but WITH A “NO TALK-NO TELL POLICY“ about what happens with others outside of the relationship. “OPEN RELATIONSHIP“ allowing everything online & in-person but WITH AN “OPEN DISCUSSION POLICY” about what happens with others outside of the relations. Also, some couples might be ok with online flirting & sex-chatting with others outside of their relationship AND I n-person flirting (with no physical contact) with someone outside of the relationship, BUT draw (establish) the agreed-to “cheating line” at “ANY erotic physical contact with someone outside of their relationship.” So, “cheating” for all couples can be boiled down to this... “Disrespecting the other person in the couple’s relationship by going beyond the couple’s agreed-to “online-and-real world” (emotional, romantic, physical/sexual, etc.) boundaries separating the couple from out-of-relationship people.”

    • I mean my explanation would apply to most monogamous couples I'd say because most people get jealous when they see their partner making moves on someone else, but yes, your description would apply to polyamorous couples. To me, I would not make that part of my relationship agreement LOL If other couples do, then they can define cheating as crossing each other's agreed boundaries.

    • I think my definition applies to all couples—the only difference is that the agreed-to “online-and-real world” cheating boundary line happens earlier (like voting option #1, or 2, or 3) for some couples, and later (like voting option #4, or 5, or 6, or 7) for other couples. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on cheating.

  • I said D
    Kissing is cheating

    • What about if your boyfriend knew about your “no-kissing” rule, and honored that rule with another woman and didn’t kiss her—BUT he did feel her breasts and/or went down her pants (but there was no oral and no penetration)?

    • I would say that feeling her breasts or fingering her is worse than kissing

    • Ok so it seems that your “cheating line” is ANY erotic physical contact with someone outside of your relationship... What about n-person flirting (with no physical contact) with someone outside of the relationship—would you consider this “”cheating” ?

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • I am okay with her been a natural flirt like doing it without realizing or just as a joke. Anything else no unless if it's with a girl. if she is bi she can do what she wants with girls Because well girls just don't get me jealous. And it's super different since women are different to men in millions of ways. So it wouldn't feel like she is replacing me. Plus if i was Bi i would be greedy myself and want both sides of the fun.
    Longs if she still loves me i don't mind that at all.

    • Interesting response @kaneki05,... So for you there is an INTENTIONALITY ELEMENT—your SO is naturally flirty so her flirting (with nothing physical going on) is ok because it’s NOT a seduction thing (i. e., it’s done “without realizing ). And online flirting, sex-chatting, physical touching, etc all involve intentionality (the other actions involve the SO knowingly participating in them).

    • Yep exactly. Every action depends on your intentions and well her intentions won't of been to cheat on me in that case so to me it's not the same. I would bring it up if it was bothering me or seemed a bit more than just her natural flirty self.

    • Ok, thanks so much for your perspective!

  • I would be ok with face 2 face flirting as it can simply be fun. I would not be ok with online "flirting" as to me there is no such thing as online "flirting": I consider it just a crude way of hooking up!
    Certainly any display of affection that exceeds the usual levels of politeness would be cheating. Kissing would be an immediate relationship-ender, no matter what.

    • Ok, so your “cheating ” definition involves an “INTENTIONALITY ELEMENT“ just like @kaneki05’s definition does. Did you vote, and if so did you choose: “1 - SO online flirting“?

    • Yes, I voted for "1" as anything online just does not feel right to me.

    • Ok, understood. Thanks for voting, and your comments!

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 0

  • Well, I believe there's a various level of "flirting", if he were to compliment a woman by saying "you look pretty, hot, gorgeous and etc" I wouldn't have an issues with that because its merely a compliment. However, if he flirted with her in a sexually suggestive way e. g. "you make me hard, your boobs/butt is..., make me wanna do.. and etc" That is considered as cheating to me, because in that situation, even in the form of virtual interaction he is initiating a sexual chat with the women, which in my opinion is way is against the relationship boundary.

    • ** is way against the relationship boundary. So, I didn't vote because option A is not really specific to me. It depends on the kind of flirting

    • Ok, no sexual interaction at all outside the relationship... so which voting option did you choose?

    • Ok I agree with you. Thanks for being so conscientious in reading the question, and thinking about the voting options; and being so thought lfuk in your responses.

    • Show All

  • Yes I would definitely consider him kissing someone else cheating and flirting with someone else would just piss me off

    • Ok. Which # did you pick in the voting—1, 2, or 3?

    • 1, online flirting is still flirting

    • Ok, I thought your answer about flirting was kinda saying that in-person flirting (with no physical contact) with someone other than you would piss you off but not be considered cheating. FYI, the reason I wanted to know what people think about in-person flirting of their SO with others is because I had seen some people on here say stuff like “it’s only flirting” or “flirting’s ok as long as there’s no kissing or touching.” I thought that that was weird because I believed the same people that said this would NOT be ok something lesser like online flirting.

    • Show All

  • I have only sex friends relationship, so not cheating possible

    • Ok, so I guess that is your vote out there for #7 - NONE ARE CHEATING

    • yes i did that

    • Ok thanks so much for replying with a comment here and also voting!

  • We dont mind each ither enjoying around so no cheating hehe

    • Ok thanks for voting and sharing what’s ok for you guys!

    • Pleasure honey

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > 18+ ADULTS ONLY: What is the LOWEST level of interaction of your SO with someone other than you that you would consider to be “cheating”?