Sexual Relationships
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Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already "Spoken For"? And Did You Know "Beforehand" Or Find Out "After"?

Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already Spoken For? And Did You Know Beforehand Or Find Out After?
Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already Spoken For? And Did You Know Beforehand Or Find Out After?
Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already Spoken For? And Did You Know Beforehand Or Find Out After?
Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already Spoken For? And Did You Know Beforehand Or Find Out After?
Have You Ever Had Sex With Someone That Was Already Spoken For? And Did You Know Beforehand Or Find Out After?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I wouldn't really call what we did sex in the primal mating kind of way, but when I was a young man, two of my best freinds broke the cardinal rule about not sleeping with your buddy. Even though he was only a couple years my senior, I looked up too him an would have laid down my life (Damb neer did in a couple late night rumbling mash ups with gangs from other turfs.) for him without hesitation. She was a year my senior and had a softer touch, not getting on my case for taking shit from preps, jocks, posers, etc., but redirecting my bad decisions towards better ones in a subtle way that made her the big sister mom never gave birth too, always looking out for me in her own sisterly compassionate sort of way, in stark contrast too his big brother "tough love" kind of way. I knew it was a mistake for them too sleep together, and they wouldn't be the only ones too suffer as a result of their bad decisions. I wasn't about too take sides and I wasn't willing too come across as indifferent, iether, but their relationship was like the second Gulf War. A monumental clusterfuck without an exit strategy. Not long after this sister figure had expressed a keen interest in seeing my dick, high on some narcotic I was never about too find out the name of, with myself and a our friends embarrassed and flabbergasted and her repeatedly asking me too take off my cloths so she could see my dick and examine me thoroughly, my other bestie cussing her out for putting me on the spot like that, calling her a goda--- slut, simultaneously breaking my heart and getting my blood boiling, knowing that kicking his ass or taking his side would have equally devastating consequences for our friendship. She was dealing with the loss of her mother, sexual abuse from her father, and taking shit from onecof her closest freinds that she didn't deserve or need at this point in her life, and he was going through some shit of his own and needed my friendship as much as she did. I tried too act as a buffer between him and his near estranged mom, and her between life in general andher fragile, battered femininity and self esteem. After spending half the day helping him and his mom's fiance (their 10 year engagement finally had a wedding date) do some repairs and renovations on the house, he went too get supplies, telling me too help myself too the basement shower and use the Murphy bed if I wanted too take a nap. ----continued in reply

    • Leaving my cloths on the couch, thinking I had the basement too myself, I showered, without a towel too drie myself, I stood in the shower drip drying when his mom pulled open the curtain, saying "there you are, I was getting worried about you, since you guys didn't break for breakfast or lunch, I thought you might have collapsed or something." This was so out of left field for me, I was taken completely off guard, not knowing weather too cover up or not, stuttering an apology for using too much hot water but---she wouldn't hear of me apologizing for that after working so hard with her guys too fix up the place. She asked if she'd interrupted something important, indicating that there wasn't enough light in hear to check for cancerous growths or lumps, smiling reassuringly while looking down at my testicles, causing me too do the same too the realization that my penis was erecting before her eyes. I stuttered an apology, not daring too specify what the apology was for, but she guessed correctly, asking me what it was I thought she was seeing that she hasn't seen a million times before.

    • Continued---TContinued--- Taking me by the arm, and pulling me out into the patio door area too get a better look, lifting my testicles too look underneath, asking if I'd been keeping myself clean during the summer heat and humidity, running her fingers over the skin of my scrotal sack appraisingly, going on about how she always thought of me as a son, and wished her other son wasn't so snarky with her lately, when all she wanted was for him too be safe and healthy. She looked me in the eye and said I was a good influence on her son, since he at least tried too behave himself when I was around, and his looking out for me gave her hope that he wasn't a lost cause. She got a towel out of a nearby cabinet and started drying me off, talking about her conversation with April (name changed for her privacy) and her better half, asking me not too be upset about things I'd revealed in confidence while the two of us regrouted the bathroom floor upstairs. She came too the conclusion that April saw me as the little brother she never had and felt responsible for my wellbeing, worrying about the hazards I faced without the support of my estranged family, knowing what that was like herself, and not O. K. with me having to endure that myself. Continued---

    • Bending me over and running the towel between my cheeks, down my perennial area and inner thighs, and lightly over my scrotal sack, stretching my sack and spreading my cheeks, running her fingers tentatively along the skin, telling me too remind her too apply some calamine lotion too counteract the heat irritation. Turning me around, she smiled and expressed relief that my libido was typically healthy for a boy my age. Teasing me for my face on my big head being the same crimson red as my little head, poking the tip of my erection playfully, pointing out that the only person uncomfortable hear was me, and only because I was worried about her opinion of me getting fresh with her. She told me that when I finally allowed people who care about me too be there for me, the way my biological family should have been, than I wouldn't feel guilty about imposing on them anymore and, and her older son could follow my example for once, reference to only biological son as her older son not lost on me, showing the same respect I was showing her now, putting up with her invasive hygiene inspections and not getting snarky with her the way her other son did. That put things into perspective as she told me my sister was sleeping in the other room and equally worried about my reproductive health, indicating that my cloths would be in the washer for some time after she finished soaking them and mending them so not too bother getting dressed today. Ricky (name changed) was going too be at her brothers place decompressing with beer and bonding time, so I should connect with my sister so she knows I'm O. K. and I'm there for her. I did as directed, getting into a fetal position behind her sleeping form and slept with her. We connected the way a brother and sister might, me submitting too an examination more thorough and complete than the Army ever put me through, answering embarressing questions without embarrassment, letting her be there for me the way I was for her.

  • No I don't and have never messed with shy woman who is involved or married if I find out you are I tell you to go home patch this up with your man he's who your any at and in not one to be any ones tool for revenge or jealousy says a lot about their character, and self control no I don't go there and I don't jump in bed with just any woman kind of picky I am

    • Thank you! I almost disavowed this question after all the answers where they knew before and didn't care. Call me naive cuz I thought it'd be more they only found out after... But people think it's just sex and what's infidelity these days 🤷🏼‍♀️ But see, that's exactly why my last relationship was my hubby that died 7 years this October and why it was probably my last... I'm too old for the games people play and call relationships these days

    • Stop it your never t too old to find love again I'm not sure how old you are but it's never too late to share your heart fill it with love again keep the memories and hope the man who captures your heart respect that part of you that you hold dear, but life is to experience not sit it out think about it and share your heart again will make a lucky man happy and you too there are still good ones out here, do take care thank you

    • Thank you 🙂

Most Helpful Girls

  • I have, and I knew, with one guy.
    I got to know him at a party and we had an amazing connection, but nothing happened (I knew he was married and had kids). He added me on social media and we sort of got talking there and it turned very serious, very fast. I was the one who cut it off after a few weeks, nothing had physically happened at that point. Saw him again a year later at the same party, and everything just came rushing back. He tried to convince me all night long to get out of there, I kept saying no. At the end of the night it just got too much for me and I caved. We hooked up a few times after that.

    Though I would hate it if it happened to me, I don't feel like I'm the guilty party here. He was the one that initiated everything, everytime. I refused. But after a certain point I don't feel like it is my responsibilty, he's the one that has to deal with the aftermath. At that point I had refused him so many times, told him to think about what he was doing... Well, he knew and wanted to go ahead anyway.

    I feel like if someone cheats, it's because something wasn't right in the relationship in the first place (not counting drunken mistakes etc.)

    • Cheating is more than a mistake it's going back on word you gave someone a promise you make someone... Being unhappy is not excuse to cheat on someone and a lot of times the lie they tell to justify cheating I'm the first place

    • I agree, it's definitely more than a mistake, though sometimes it genuinely can be just a mistake. But as I also pointed out, sometimes it's an easy escape for guys when they don't feel right in a relationship. I'm not saying thats the way to do it, it would be better to just have the balls to face that you should break up, before hooking up with someone else. But humans often try to escape confrontation, and that is one way to do it. My guy divorced his wife shortly after we stopped seeing eachother, because he knew their relationship just didn't work anymore.

    • Or she divorced him cuz he was cheating 🤔

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  • No never, I had married guys all me to relieve them bc their wife wouldn't do them for a while, i didn't bc its wrong and I dont ruin someone's else's life, specially when there's kids involve. Not me.

    • I agree 💯 why it's really messed up when people lie about being in a relationship, just for sex... Now you hurt/cheated 2 people not just one...

    • Yes... its hurtful to the spouse and very disrespectful towards the kids too.

    • And the person that was made the "other" without their knowledge or agreement. Bad enough but then so many times the other person is blamed, and if they "knowingly" mess around with someone they "know" is taken, as well they should.. But if they "didn't" know, then they are a victim as well, and they can get hurt as well...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I have a very strict rule that I will not get involved with anyone - even just for a night - unless they are entirely, 100% single. I don't have time and energy for that kind of drama.

  • My First Love. We were Together in our Teens and then Broke up. It took me a Long time to get Over him but the month before he got Married to the girl I was Most jealous of and Back then had NO cause for---he and I went Out for a drink and what do you Think? He came back to my place. It was a Closure for me, For before He met her at that Alter, My own Feelings---Altered. I was OVER him. And I secretly got my Revenge on her. I got my Last Honeymoon with Him. lolxx

  • I was never so desperate for sex that I would consider messing with a married woman. It's just not part of my moral code.

    Having sex with a girl who says she has a boyfriend is different. Most girls/woman that I had relationships with said they had boyfriends before they met me. There are many reasons why a girl might say that. But having a boyfriend is nothing like being actually married. It's not the same as being "spoken for".

    I never tried to take a friend's girlfriend because it would have wrecked my friendship. It's different if they were already broken up.

    The one married woman I had a relationship with was someone I had known when I was in my teens and early 20s. I always thought she was sexy as hell but she was 2 or 3 years younger than me and not too bright. When I was 33 or 34, she contacted me out of the blue. I happened to be in kind of a vulnerable part of my life. She had 4 kids, two of which were teens. She said she was in the final stages of a divorce and that her husband was abusive. She owned a successful business and was renting a house on her own. So I met up with her for old time's sake. She was still beautiful. I believed her sob stories and we wound up getting along. Long story short, I later realized that she had serious psychological issues. She was indeed in the final stages of divorcing her husband but he was not abusive. She wound up jacking me around, stealing from me, and claiming that I was abusive, too. But for a few months it was fun being with her. She sucked dick like a pro and was a good fuck.

  • Oh yes very many times, and most time I'd knew it, but I too had my hubby at home, and he would always get to know when I come home. As we live in a very liberal relationship where we allow each all the sex we want with others, so in my point of view , it weren't cheating on hubby

  • Kinda, years ago, I felt really bad afterwards and swore I'd never do it again. I had a hot model hit on me years later and I knew she was married and I just couldn't go there, especially since she had a kid, can't do that when there is a guy doing his part for the family.

    • I also had a girl I got with tell me her boyfriend was awful. I found out later he was a very nice guy.

    • Yeah cheaters make up stories to justify the cheating, we never have sex, he's mean, blah blah never bring up their faults tho so they 🤔

    • Exactly. She said they never have sex as well. She definitely fit the profile. Live and learn.

  • If she is engaged or married, and sometimes even REALLY serious in a relationship, NO, that is "off-limits"! I'm not going to get in between that, if she is already loving another!

    • I agree

  • What the heck does "spoken for" mean? LOL - I've never heard that term before. Are you referring to someone being married? -- In that case, no. But it wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker if he was.

    • Someone already in a committed monogomous relationship with someone else... And that wouldn't be a deal breaker if he was married? It would for me.. hell don't even have to be married, if he involved with someone else, no thanks.. I'll pass

    • LoL... Yeah, guess it depends. On a superficial 'fling' sort of thing, I'd figure if he's out fucking around, I guess he doesn't take his other relationship seriously, and be like "whatever" - that's his business to deal with. I wouldn't care about his drama on that end, nor want to get involved, much less know about it even. Now that said, I would start to be more concerned or it would be a bigger issue, if I was really, really into him and it became more involved or serious -- or if I found out about all that way after the fact kinda thing; then I am leaning toward agreeing with you.

    • ,👍🙂

  • I had sex with a lot of guys who were taken. It's just sex. I don't care if the have someone. I want dick in my holes

    • It's just sex to you in sure their partners don't see it that way

    • If they don't know, it can't hurt them

    • That's not true.. and the truth usually comes out. Would you feel the same if that was your partner? As long as you don't know he can do whatever and it won't hurt you?

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  • No sex for me yet 😅

  • Yes. Unfortunately I feel in love with a married woman. She had lied to me about him and claimed to be a widow so once she confessed it was devastating.

    • Oh that's horrible... My father did that to my mother.. When they met, he said he was widowed... Turns out he was married with 4 sons... Why she even married him I'll never get. Well actually think I was that reason... But still pregnant or not I don't think I could ever marry someone who would do that...

  • Not that I know of.

    • That's a good thing 🙂

  • Nope... Never given such a choice to make

    • That's not really a good choice anyways in my opinion...

    • Ahh there's the thing while I'm 98% sure I'd never do this, unless presented with such a temptation I can never be 100% sure I wouldn't... Though come to think of it... I have been close to a similar situation the female tried to seduce me and I told her no cause she had a boyfriend (does that count?)

    • Yep.. So see you do know you wouldn't 🙂

  • I did. I was involved with someone taken twice. Once I knew, once I didn’t.

  • I haven't. Not sure i would

    • That's a good thing 👍

  • Yes in my early 20s, she was in her late 30s. I didn't know she was still married and she was a jehovah's witness

    • So were you upset when you found out?

    • Nope, I was young and I care about was getting laid at the time. I was in my early 20s and she was in her late 30s

    • All I cared about

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  • A long long long time ago... I worked with a woman and we were friends... go out often after work with a group of friends... she was beyond hot... I knew she was married...

    One night we made out... nothing beyond that until a month or so later, she was separated and then we had a fling for a little while... it was awesome but then got messy - not because of her husband (they ended up divorcing) but just the whole work situation... eons later now, we still stay in touch with an occasional email exchange

    • That's cool

    • It was until it got messy lol.. but no regrets. And it was an afternoon with her that forever gets me get off the walls horny when it rains really hard during a warm summer day :)

    • 👍🙂

  • Not sex, but when I first came to University I did have a very very close friendship with a lass who was spoken for and with hindsight probably crossed some boundary or other. I was 18/19 at the time living 100's of miles from home and very shy at the time. Not a particular proud moment but it was part of growing up, so denying it means you don't learn the lesson from it. And Happily I've learnt my lesson.

    • 👍👍🙂

  • 22 years ago I met an attractive and quite forward 44 year old woman. You won’t guess as 44. There comes a point in the evening (of the same day we chance met) where she Suggest going back to my place. I was an hour away from home and suggested we go to her’s instead. At which point she tells me we can’t because she has roommates. Fair enough I figure so I suggest my office which is only about 20 minutes away i stead. She loves the idea. We get to my office and go at it for 4 hours and 35 minutes (because my alarmed logged my time in and out (HA!) when leaving I remember the length of time to this day. Upon setting my alarm and walking us out the door she says to me, “I feel like I just rode a bull! I am going to want to see you again. “ My reply which I shall also never forget, “I bet you do!” Noting my incredulous sarcasm she reiterates with, “No, I am serious. I would like to see you again.” By this point I am getting her the door to my car and she changes the subject asking, “Did you figure it out?” “Figure what out?” I ask. “About my roommate? I’m married. My roommates are my husband and 16 year old son.” “No shit?” Was all I could manage to get out at first. Then she says, “You had no idea, huh?” “Not a clue...” was my retort. The subject quickly changed again.


    I must have really pissed off the gods as my personal life has been a shit show of short lived relationships with a brief hint of hope and numerous detached tryst ever since. The last relationship finally left me indifferent to it all anymore. Fuckin’ A :p


    So yes, I have. Then learned about it after the fact. We never saw one another again.

    • Sorry 😕 people can be scum 🤷🏼‍♀️ End don't trust cheaters cuz they liars as well..

  • Yes and i didn't know at the time. When i found out i broke it off and talked to the other guy about what happened.

    • That's good 👍 cheating is wrong, but when you lie about being single, now screwing over 2 people Instead of just 1

    • Yes, i agree completely.

  • Thankfully I have never had sex with anyone who was already spoken for.

    • That's good

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