How to handle a sexless relationship?

[Anonymous]

So, I've been with my fiance for a year now. I love her very much.. to the point where I can't fathom being with someone else. The problem is, we barely ever have sex. She says its her meds. And when we do have sex, its mediocre at best. O didn't think it was possible to be inove with someone n not have sexual compatibility. My sex drive is so high... if I could have it my way, wed have sex daily. In a year, i dont believe we've had sex more than 20 times. Its really starting to take a toll on me. I feel like we are missing an important part. I have spoken to her about this many times. It hurts me bc it makes me feel undesired. I need that intimate connection. We cuddle, kiss, hug.. and have a great bond but our relationship is sexless. I hate this. It sucks that I've found this person who I love and adore but she lacks a sex drive. Its starting to make me resent her. I dont want to fall out of love which is what I think will happen. I dont want to cheat bc that doesn't solve the problem. I touch myself however that doesn't solve my desire of intimate connection. I dont know what to do. 😌

[kemo56]

If you are able to communicate which is something that's very important in a relationship then you need to talk about it if her meds are causing a problem maybe she needs to change meds you know if her drive is just not there then you might want to reconsider the idea is a lifetime commitment andyou shouldn't continue a relationship that's not going to satisfy you that wouldn't be for her benefit or yours or any kids in the process I would definitely figure out a way to rectify that situation or as bad as I hate to say it I'd move on... For her benefit further benefit of the kids and for your sexual happiness that is just as important as any other feelings that you have for a person... In my opinion

[Bad_Man55]

I can totally sympathize and know how you feel. it is really hard to deal with. I've brought it up too and get the same answers that are about being stressed and tired and being preoccupied with kids. She assures me she loves me and only me. But like you said it kills your confidence in yourself and causes a gulf between us due to the lack of intimate connection.

[Asker]

Ugh it really does kill my confidence... and it hurts a ton. I dont understand how someone can be like your wife and my fiance is.. its normal human desire to want intimacy.. n its a beautiful thing when u can have this with someone u love. Its crazy how I think I've found the one n yet one of my most desired things have been taken away from me. Im an extremely sexual being.. n its so ironic that im at a point in my life where I only want it with someone I'm in love with... n now that I feel like, im in total love, I'm missing an important aspect. I dont know if I can marry her n it saddens me to know that it's bc of our sex life (or lack there of). Ugh.. i don't think it'll change n o dont know if I can stay. It makes me so upset that she would get into a relationship knowing she isn't sexual. I was upfront about my sex drive... i feel like she should have stated in the beginning that she's pretty much Asexual.. almost feel like it's deceiving... i see now why married people cheat... but i refuse to be that person.

[Bad_Man55]

I agree I think sexual chemistry and drive is key to a happy relationship and general enjoyment of life. It's a daily struggle trying not to resent her for it and I feel guilty for it. But at the same time I'm like damn there are so many people out there that would love if there SO wanted to have sex with them all the time. I love her so much but I can see this festering feeling in my gut not going away and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. Do you just swallow it and deal 😕

[Asker]

I don't find it fare to just swallow n deal. Why would u (our s/o) not want to make your partner happy? Its like I'm being mentally n emotionally tortured. Ughhhh.. i didn't sign up to be in a sexless relationship.

[Bad_Man55]

Absolutely! We give everything else why can't they want us or at the least give us the release. We are basically saying we want/need sex to feel connected and happy and being denied that is painful

[theharshtruth]

why is this from a girl's account?

[Asker]

Bc im a woman who likes women 🤪 lol.. dah

[theharshtruth]

sorry i missed that 🙄

[Berethor]

Wait not all lesbian relationships are sexless? :)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LysistrataGambit

[Coffemmmsoogood]

Aww your soo sweet ☺try orgasm frequencys on YouTube maybe you'll cumm really good. I know I have been sexless since 2010 but masturbating daily has gotten me here☺.

[bigstic507]

Up u don't, say see ya!! Unless they are rich

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could find a way to feel desired that she is comfortable with.

I was in a sexless relationship and it helped my partner for us to cuddle while she masturbated or for me to do her but stay out of the experience myself.

Or she needs something different from you, more seduction or security, which might have been the case with my relationship.

[Anonymous]

This is quite common actually, especially with people that wait until marriage for sex. You fall in love, then find out you're not sexually compatible. Love her or not, this could be a "deal breaker" because this is important as well as everything else in the relationship. You have to talk with her and both compromise for each other, or, maybe the relationship isn't going to work? But work this out before you get married. If you don't, this is only going to become more and more of a problem for you and eventually it will come between you and cause problems.