Never been with a virgin before, need advice?

[Anonymous]

So I started a thing with this girl and she’s a virgin and I’ve never been with a virgin before. (She was homeschooled in high school and apparently never even had a kiss before me) Anyway she was inexperienced, but I guided her along and it turns out she’s super sexual and seems to really enjoy things like dry humping or us rubbing each other through our clothes but she says she’s not ready to do anything under the pants. She says she will be eventually but not yet. I’ve never been with someone inexperienced before and I guess I’m just curious about what’s going on inside her mind. Like when will she be ready? Is it a comfort thing? Or is it about timing? What’s everyone’s thoughts on what could be going on with her psychologically? I want to better understand the situation I’m in

[PrudentGuy]

1) "Like when will she be ready?"
She's ready when she feels comfortable with you.

Think along this line: Us guys are easy, just need a naked girl opening her vagina and we poke in.

But to girls, she "wonders" how she will feel after she undresses. She "wonders" if you'll like what you see. She "wonders" will that mole somewhere makes you hate her. She "wonders" where you will touch her. ... etc... got the female psychology?

Hence, assure her. Tell her you accept her for who she is. Assure her that you'll like how she look naked, no matter what are her concerns. Get it? Help her feel desired.

2) "Is it a comfort thing?"
Not exactly. Physically she knows she will be naked. But mentally, she will wonder if she'll be labeled a slut. "What if after sex he leaves?" If these are what you mean by "comfort", then yes.

Hence, prepare your script again. Enter her vagina through her brain. This is the tested way.

3) "Or is it about timing?"
Maybe. The #1 concern for a virgin is pregnancy and #2 STD.

Hence know your contraceptives well and talk about safer (not just safe) sex. Could be pills. Could be condom. Could be IUDs. Whatever the mean, assure her you'll be responsible should she got pregnant. And get tested if necessary.

4) Perhaps she worry about pain associated with breaking her hymen.
Yes, pain is real. So is blood. And she must love you enough to suffer both. Does she?

Preparation may help. Talk to her about the pain and the blood, realistically. Use Missionary position and tell her how that will help. Then assure her you'll have enough foreplay before you penetrate.

What about she breaking her hymen with a dildo? You both decide. It's an alternative, although not that welcome by most men.

To conclude, virgins are sensitive and definitely will behave in an awkward manner, like switching off the lights or hiding under the sheets. But it takes tact and lots of assurance on your part to bring her out of the sheets and have the lights switched back on. It's a challenge worth taking on your part.

[rainpeltbriver]

It is very nice if you to seek advice on this. It can be really scary for a girl to loose her virginity even if they are eager. People telll you all , kinds of things like it hurts (which it can) Or it’s forbidden or you’ll get pregnant blah blah blah. my first was an awful experience even tho the guy was very gentle and patient. She could be scared or she could just want to wait until you both mean a little more to each other. Some girls want their first time to be perfect. Some don’t give a shit. Perhaps she’s done her research and is taking the time to explore herself so she can be more ready when it comes down to expressing herself in bed. It could also be a tad embarrassing. Sometimes you just have to feel completely comfortable and safe with the other person.

[Asker]

So what do you think I could do to make her feel more comfortable? Just give it time or do anything in particular?

[Asker]

Like whatever happens, my main priority is making sure that being with me is a positive experience for her and want her to feel safe, comfortable, and have a good time

[rainpeltbriver]

Intimacy without being intimate is important. Building an intimate bond. Can you ugly laugh in front of each other? Stuff your faces? Even being naked together and not having sex. Skinny dipping, bathing sleeping. But hey for all we know she could be testing you. How long can you wait? Are you in it just for sex? We girls over analyze. Maybe she wants to be official first

[Anonymous]

She's probably waiting for marriage.

[Asker]

I don’t think so, she started hitting me up right after I offhandedly told her a story about a weird blowjob I got one time

[Opinion Owner]

That might just be one of the kinks she is repressing. As a virgin that is waiting for marriage it can be a struggle to keep my sexual desires in check. And I don't shy away from discussing raunchy sexual acts. I am just saving those up for my marriage bed.