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How can I initiate more when it comes to sex and romance?

Anonymous
I guess this is mostly for guys to answer but girls are welcome too. So, I am somewhat inexperienced when it comes to sex and relationships. I've had sex (friends with benefits), I just haven't been in a relationship. I've only been having sex for the past 2 years and I find that it is always the guy (it's been 1 guy) who initiates things. He kisses me, he starts touching me first, etc. I am an anxious person so I know that it's the anxiety holding me back because when I'm in the moment I want to do all these things like touch him in certain ways and get on top, but I never do them because I'm just nervous for some reason. He's also mentioned that he would like if I practiced more eye contact, especially when giving head. I honestly don't know what holds me back because when I'm alone with my dildo I will sometimes practice blowjob techniques and I go all in. But on him I hold back a bit. SO, what are some small (or big) ways for me (the girl) to initiate things to get him in the mood.
How can I initiate more when it comes to sex and romance?
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