I wonder why my friends with benefits feel that I never gave him 100 percent?

Anonymous

So, my friends with benefits and I have been on and off with each other. And sometimes, we act like lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend. But I know the title and what friends with benefits is based off. But my thing is, we most recently had a talk, and he feels that I haven't giving him a 100%. But I feel like, I have giving him 6 year's of myself to him my body, mind, and energy. So wtf, and if he is referring to a relationship, he had plenty of time to make things between him and I official, for the longest. But anyways I decided to walk away from this situation. It's just isn't the same, and I have become to needy for his attention. And usually in friends with benefits, I don't think you are suppose to give a 100% more like 50/50 or whatever. friends with benefits is a sexually relationship, not a real one. But any advice?

0 2

Superb Opinion

laurieluvsit Master
+1 y
F-W-B is very difficult to maintain over time because deep feelings start to develop whether you want them too or not many times. There are too many emotions and feelings involved which mess things up as you have just so aptly illustrated.

I have male and female F-W-B since I am bi and it is like juggling balls to try and keep deep emotions and feelings out of it, which is really what has to happen to an extent to make it work... like how do you do that? ... you have to either be a magician or cold hearted.

Sorry, I can't be of more help but just pointing out the realities of it :(
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  No you said it perfectly. And wow you have multiple choices to play with and to choose from. But I wonder how I haven't giving my 100%. Like sex or other.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Could you also answer this one too. What was he trying to say? ↗
- laurieluvsit
  +1 y
  It sounds to me like he is just playing mind games with you for some reason and trying to hurt you. It is most likely because he is actually the one having some serious mental problems with things right now that probably have nothing to do with you but he is getting his frustration out on you. It might be best for you to take a break from him for a little while until you can clear your head and re-evaluate things... there is always the trusty vibrator to satisfy your needs in the mean time and will never make you feel bad about yourself! ... lol
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- laurieluvsit
  +1 y
  OK, I am going to work right now but I will try to remember to look at your other question later :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  You freaky girl. I definitely don't feel that he is trying to hurt me No. But I do feel that he is going through a lot in his life, and have some issues.. Yes. And he also told me how he is trying to keep his mind and energy positive. So. And I did just that, to let him do him and for me to do me. 😎😎. If we talk again, we'll just talk again and if not. Oh well.
- Asker
  +1 y
  And Thank You :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  I got the answer. So you guys, I figured it all out. So his feelings never change, just his level of interest did, for someone else? read the whole thing please? ↗

Most Helpful Guys

COMMODOREII Master
+1 y
Well in my friends with benefits relationship we were just friends and nothing more. We still dated other people and if we wanted to get serious with someone we knew to cut off any sexual activity. We might still talk and be friends but again nothing more. We never explored the possibility of being exclusive to each other.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Right he hit me up again friend. And said, I didn't give him my 100%. Like wtf is he talking about sex or just my time.. I don't know. You and I talked about this yesterday.
- COMMODOREII
  +1 y
  Yeah im not sure he understands how it works.
- Asker
  +1 y
  So you guys, I figured it all out. So his feelings never change, just his level of interest did, for someone else? read the whole thing please? ↗ I got the answer
AustinMan Influencer
+1 y
You have the option to walk away, of course. However, might it be a good idea to sit him down away from the sex and explain how you feel and see what he says? I agree that friends with benefits isn't necessarily a 100% investment but it can be, I suppose.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Right and I was like a 100%. Like sex wise or being there for him. I don't know it was just kind of weird that he would say that. And also, if he wanted to date me be with me, he had lots of time to do so. So 🙄
- Asker
  +1 y
  Read this one too. Thank you. What was he trying to say? ↗

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

Berethor Master
+1 y
Looks like he like when you needy for his attention, and he wanted you to be 100 percent needy.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Like for sex or just for his attention or both.
- Berethor
  +1 y
  Both, he is a man, so it's unlikely that sex in not unimportant to him, but he also like when a woman get needy, also he has a BDSM mindset, so he likes when a woman is 100 percent submissive.
  
  tvtropes.org/.../ImAManICantHelpIt
  
  tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LegCling
- Berethor
  +1 y
  I mean "so it's unlikely that sex is unimportant to him."
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- Asker
  +1 y
  But. I have been sexting him for 6 year's on and off. What more could he want?
- Berethor
  +1 y
  Are you just sexting him and not seeing him? also why it's on and off and not always on?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Sexting him is having sex with him or had sex with him. And he says, ever time that he gets close to me. I tend to have someone. But there has been many of times and years he could have made me his girlfriend. But he likes to fuck around. Soooo and also why we have been off. He keeps running each and every time we do get close. So yeah!!
- Berethor
  +1 y
  Well that situation was more messy than I thought. Yes he had 6 year to make you his girlfriend, but the fact that you had someone when he was trying to get close you didn't exactly helped him with making that move, also men tend to get more annoyed by those things, because men are more territorial than women by nature. Why you started as a friends with benefits to begin with? if you was able to act like a boyfriend and girlfriend when you wanted to? your relationship was likely doomed from the start, because of how man's mind usually work, he likely tagged you as a not wife material from the start for agreeing to be in a casual relationship, and even more so after seeing you with other men. Turning a casual relationship into official is unlikely in real life.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah I agree. I agree. And he once lied and had a relationship going on back in 2014 playing like he was single. But on the real deal, he isn't ready to be tied down to anyone. Sure, sex is a bonus for a guy. But there are guys that actually want love and a relationship. But you are right, from day one when we met back in the middle or beginning of 2014- he was just some internet weirdo. But over the years we did grow on each other, and this man could have gotten what he wanted then left. But the fact that he says, it says a lot. Sure, free sex why leave. But it wasn't just the sex! I had to train him on how I wanted to be treated and the respect just came into place. Yeah, he didn't have that much patience back then. He would get mad about everything and started to point fingers at me and accuse me of doing things when I wasn't. And from day 1 his intentions was to have sex. And I do recall, things between him and I was getting a bit serious. 🙊🙉🙈. And also, when we did get close and bond and connect, he pulled away from me. I may not have been able to give him what he wanted. Keep reading
- Asker
  +1 y
  But my body was something I shouldn't have. But I make No excuses for this man. He was in the wrong, just as much as I was. ... Smh. And also as far as other guys, go. I did start seeing and sexting other people or another yes. Like, what do he think this is. You can't be talking for a minute and then inconsistent the next then expect me to wait around for him. And also, I didn't really do no dick hopping. I would talk with guys that was trying to pursue me or giving me the attention that I wanted from him. :(. He left for some time and months. But I always been 100% in his corner and took him back when he was done or things didn't work with him and whoever. That that 100% can kiss my ass. I wouldn't lie to him and fake that I am single just to get some D from him, because I'm not getting it from my partner. And truth is sir, each time or when I got involved with someone on a more serious level. And if he so happen to be around. I would let him no, then cut my ties with him. YES he would be upset. But oh well.. I can't and won't wait around on a man that isn't for sure about what he wants and what girl he wants to sex next. I would make it clear on my part - he was confusing me because he had other women and people involved. That kid back in 2016 didn't get here by himself. He was messing with someone for awhile. And that picture that I came across and did my research and found. It said, happy 1 year anniversary baby. And had him and some ugly girl up. I came for her. She blocked me. But I also came for him: when he was in deep shit. He didn't know how to explain. And he never once apologize he says sorry for everything else. But not that. So he doesn't need to be talking about my 100%. But he gave me 0 at times with bs and lies.
- Asker
  +1 y
  And also. FYI. I did come clean and apologize for my wrongs and for hurting him. And truth is, I don't really care if he didn't and don't see me as wife material. I trained him on how I want to be treated and prayed about are situation. But the moment I stop being his yes girl or giving him free hand outs. That's when he would dip for awhile. So I did my part and got what I wanted as far as respect to a degree. But I can't make a male hoe pick me over his other hoes. The day that he seems me in another guys arms and married. He will regret losing me. He is about to be 30. Get real man and settle down. Man - some always say and also complain about them being used or not the RIGHT GIRL. But when someone good comes along like me.. they see sex or whatever or Start playing games. But oh well.. It's really time to get into something new. I loved this guy more then anything. Besides God and my brother. But he don't know what good is, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Browneye57 Master
+1 y
You my dear are a complete fool. Such a waste!!!
I would tell him to FUCK OFF. And not in a sexual way. LOL

You do understand there is zero benefit for the girl in these situations? ZERO NONE NADA ZIP NOTHING
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  But I said, I didn't give him 100%. I have been dealing with him for years. Sooo I don't know. But again if he wanted to be with me he could have years ago. But. He is actually a waste of my time, and I cut him off recently.
- Browneye57
  +1 y
  Good for you. Now, before you hit the wall, find a really great guy and develop a meaningful relationship. The sex will come naturally, and maybe you'll even gain a partner for life. Everything is SO much better this way. You'll see. Girls are the keepers of sex. Guys are the keepers of commitment. Don't be giving up any of yours till you get at least a little of his. :)
AmeerX Guru
+1 y
He loved you and don't want you to leave his life
0 0 1 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  I doubt that
- AmeerX
  +1 y
  Why do you doubt that?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Because he said, that I didn't give 100% he's my friends with benefits not boyfriend
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- AmeerX
  +1 y
  I guess somewhere along the way he wants you
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay I have two other questions for you to answer. Guys and girls, if a man truly likes a female why wouldn't he ask her to be his girlfriend and want things to be solid? ↗
- Asker
  +1 y
  What was he trying to say? ↗
jeremy_09 Explorer
+1 y
friends with benefits is a place where you don't have to give 100%, no rules, no expectations, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's just relaxing
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Exactly!! So why would he say that.
- jeremy_09
  +1 y
  friends with benefits is also a place where one person wants more than friends with benefits
- Asker
  +1 y
  Him and I have lots of history. But I agree with you. But percentage am I supposed to give to him lol. He made me his booty call. And if he wanted me, he would have been asked me to be his lady. After 6 years, it's a dub.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  What was he trying to say? ↗ could you also answer that. It's about the same person.
- jeremy_09
  +1 y
  send me a message and we can talk
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay. Could you answer that other question. It's really short.
jonny79797979 Xper 2
+1 y
Are you just laying there and taking it or are you into it when you are have sex? Maybe he wants you to do something new. If it's just sex and there is no chance of any other type of relationship just cum and go about your day.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  And a lot of times, he would be on stop. So I would just lay there and allow him to do the work lol. But I don't know. I had sex with him more then enough over the years. And he never once said anything bad about are sex. Soooo
- Asker
  +1 y
  Can you also answer this? What was he trying to say? ↗
- Asker
  +1 y
  I got the answer So you guys, I figured it all out. So his feelings never change, just his level of interest did, for someone else? read the whole thing please? ↗
asshole_ Yoda
+1 y
friends with benefits is for pathetic losers
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  But I said, I didn't give him 100%. I have been dealing with him for years. Sooo I don't know. But again if he wanted to be with me he could have years ago. But. He is actually a waste of my time, and I cut him off recently.
- asshole_
  +1 y
  good
- Asker
  +1 y
  Hell yeah. I should have been cut him off tbh like years back
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- asshole_
  +1 y
  mhmmm
- Asker
  +1 y
  So you guys, I figured it all out. So his feelings never change, just his level of interest did, for someone else? read the whole thing please? ↗ I got the answer
- asshole_
  +1 y
  Thanks?
- Asker
  +1 y
  No thank you
- asshole_
  +1 y
  you're welcome?
In_Trance Master
+1 y
Maybe you did give 100% and it just wasn't what he was looking for
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Explain.. When you say it just wasn't what he was looking for?
- In_Trance
  +1 y
  That's a specific as I can get; I don't know you him or your dynamic
- Asker
  +1 y
  Could you answer this as well too. What was he trying to say? ↗ And Thank You