When you decide to have sex for the first time with a new partner, what is your motivation?

Question

The first time a guy tells a girl that he wants to have sex, she might think that he is just wanting to get laid, but I think that the majority of guys have more honorable intentions. My perception is that guys want to have sex so they can feel even closer in a relationship, but girls want to wait until they feel closer before they have sex. Of course it feels good - that's part of the reason why we do it - bt it's not the only reason. Anyway, so the guy is ready for sex sooner than the woman is ready (sometimes) and, since she doesn't understand how he is thinking, she assumes he is horny and just wants to get laid. Big misperception!

But. . . this is just my theory and I could be all wrong, so. . . what do you think about when you are getting ready to take a new dating relationship to that next level of sexual relationship?

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I have zero interest in sex intellectually emotionally physically without an ultra tight bond. it’s not to make any kind of point. I’m not holding out or making anyone wait on principle... there is just a window where sex is unimaginable and a point when that changes .

So for me having sex isn’t do demonstrate anything. It rather exemplifies the fact we already are close snd now I’m /we are comfortable going further.

To me, the idea of having sex to “show I care” is perplexing. I wouldn’t have sex with someone for whom I didn’t care, thus already would’ve shown it and absolutely vice versa.

And esp bc honestly sex creates hormonal reaction that in my opinion makes you feel like you are madly and passionately in love with anyone and anything in the entire world- for about 15 seconds while you cum... lol I’d worry id get false- positive wrong feed back doing it too soon. Before I really feel that heightened bond.

I’d like to understand this better. Having sex to feel closer.. do you think it would be fair to replace “ feeling closer” with feeling accepted? i think that , I can understand.

If someone is horny all the time they want to know it is not a turn off but welcome by their partner, bc it’s a central part of Them and it isn’t going anywhere.

But in general I can think of so many things that make me feel closer and sex isn’t one of them. In some cases I can feel more distant.

devilish-cutie · Accepted Answer

I feel like there isn't thwt much difference personally for me besides the fact that i go for what feels natural for me which m3qns step by step approach. First you gotta get comfortable w someome as a peraon and get along with them, then have some causal physical touching, then kissing, then groping then sex. If its right a way to sex it doeant feel natural... And usually its just about hormones n lust. I also in order to feel comfortable have to trust the guy and know him well and sex would defibitely be just one more, the furthest step in being closer. But we cannot jump from point a to s... If you know what i mean 😉

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

When I have sex with my wife for the first time, we will already be very close (because otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to marry her.). So seeing each other naked and touching each other and joining our bodies together is just the final step in a long, steady progression of becoming more intimate and close to one another.

But also, I think a legitimate second reason for us to have sex is for us both to get the other one off and provide physical pleasure. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Isac132 · Accepted Answer

sooo, funny story. She wants but I don't... waiting for the relationship to be more stable. Because I want to do it with someone special who is willing to stay longer in the relationship and if we are gonna stay in relationship for longer I will want it too.

ZiZi_Bell · Answer

With new partners I usually just want to fuck, and I make that clear from the start. Lol If it turns into something more after that, around. Lol

meetkitty123 · Answer

The first time I have sex with a new partner it's the show them how much I love them and I want to be even closer to them emotionally

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I don't like being the "gatekeeper to sex." If I want to sleep with someone, I will by date 5. It is pretty rare that I will hold a single time we have sex against someone, but I will judge their ability to learn my body.

All women have different bodies. I don't care if you have been with 2 girls or 20, my body has its own buttons and I will tell you how I want them pressed. Refusal to "adjust" and someone who keeps doing the things that worked for their ex, thank you next.

Sex is physical communication. It says, let's make each other feel good. It does not say, let's make one of us feel good.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I would say E, F, G with those, the rest will soon follow. ...

Lliam · Answer

For me, I think it's that my partner and I are in infatuation. We are ready to have sex. We want sex because we are horny for each other but also because want to explore a deeper relationship and see where it goes.
I don't attribute any difference between male and female psychology to it. I'm not second guessing or assuming what's inside her head.

HOAAH · Answer

I already felt close to him so sex was just something special we could do together

Tedee18 · Answer

1 Corinthians 7: 2 says clearly: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. You should wait until you are married.

AvaW359 · Answer

I just want to orgasm...

rachel776 · Answer

there's a point in time where i go from, "ok this is a nice guy" to "ok i'm gonna let him fuck me" and then it happens usually soon after that

spartan55 · Answer

Depends entirely on how serious I feel about said partner.

flamiE · Answer

I wouldn’t say it would be an orgasm, I mean I’d be anxious enough for me to not be able to relax my body.. but I wouldn’t say me being horny would be enough motivation, I’d want to feel closer to him, get over the initial anxiety and show him how much I care and hopefully love him and for me to want to do these things I’ll have to get to know him better and make sure he’s a good guy that I can let get close to me like that. So if I just feel horny on date two or five I’d behave myself until I know him better, I’m a human after all and am able to control my hormones.

zoeadams3 · Answer

I was really horny and didn’t care if I got knocked up.

triff · Answer

I have never said to a girl I want sex is kinda just happened A mutual decision It was just the right time

SphynxUK · Answer

I think any couple knows when the times right. A man who is seriously interested doesn’t even bring it up. That’s my experience through life anyway.

If any man is telling his partner that he loves her and needs to sleep with her to prove it is only there for sex.

BlondeGoneWild · Answer

Usually my main motivation is just that I’m horny

Avicenna · Answer

Yeah, it's to feel closer to her

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

I want to get closer, both physically and emotionally. I disagree with the "misperception". Most guys (guys my age at least) just wish to get laid.

Agape93 · Answer

A few things. Namely, passion and measuring their worth as a partner

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

A and E

jcnum10 · Answer

Mostly horny and tired of making us wait

When you decide to have sex for the first time with a new partner, what is your motivation?

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