Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How soon after having a baby do you start liking/wanting sex again?

I had a baby about 7 weeks ago and am breastfeeding.

I have lost 99% of my interest in sex.

My husband had my "6 week" date on the calendar and was so excited we could have sex again. (at 4.5 weeks, we went on a date, he promised no sex, but after making out, I really really tried to give him oral, but when he came, it made me so sick! Plus it didn't help he was trying to finger me while he was holding my head down in his lap! Total messed up date.. I pushed him away and was really upset and almost scared.)

At the 6 Week Date, he had a romantic evening with a hot soak for me with my favorite sushi (unagi and california rolls), a hour long massage that ended with 2-3 Os from him massaging me and using my Hitachi back massager, 2-3 glasses of wine to relax me, and we had sex 2 times in about 4 hours.

The next morning, he tried to touch me and wanted sex again, and I was 100% NOT into it... told him to not touch me and I had to leave the room coz he didn't understand why I don't want sex? (I wanted it the night before after 2-3 glasses of wine and a Valium to relax me coz I really wanted to make him happy since he has waited 6 weeks.)

**How many of you women have experienced this lack of sex drive after having a baby?

**How long did it take you to get where you ACTUALLY wanted sex again?

I love my man a lot, am hurting him coz I don't want or like sex anymore (He told me I was his Sex Demon Goddess when I was prego!), but I just can't take it!!!
Updates:
+1 y
Well, I had sex on my 6 week mark (9/3/20) to make my man happy. He made it nice over a 5 hrs period with a hot soak, & massage, & 3 glasses of wine. Saw my dr about 1.5 weeks later to see if she could give me meds coz of my postpartum. To shut me up, she did a blood test on that Fri. Tues she tells me I am almost 2 weeks prego. She had said no BC needed since i was breastfeeding 24x7 esp at night and I couldnt get prego. WRONGSVILLE! Hormones are leveling & like sex again.
+1 y
It's just that I am very dry downstairs and we have to use lube every time. But I actually feel romantic & look forward to being with him. Amazing how pregnancy can alter your bodies hormones! He said maybe I should just get prego all the time to avoid the postpartum... he got hit. so this is where I am at... thanks to all GAGGERS that responded
3 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Your hormones are completely out of whack and it might take up to a year for it to settle back down.

    Quite frankly you are not the only one I've had two children and I completely understand it.

    after I had both children I feel like I'm on guard my only mission in life is to protect and nurture my child I don't want anything to do with sex.

    it irritates the hell out of me that doctors put the six weeks expectation on us and Men immediately assume that that's a green light because the doctor said so.

    Then of course there are those who are very disrespectful and don't even listen to what the doctor says.

    I nursed exclusively and I believe the nursing adjusts our hormones to be devoted mothers.

    It releases a parenting hormone in US. It also can prevent us from menstruating.
    when we're not menstruating we're definitely not ovulating and therefore we're definitely not in the mood most of the time. It would be very hard to be pregnant again and take care of a new infant this is why nature intervenes so that we have enough energy and health qw for the current child.

    I do not believe I got completely into the mood for sexual activity until I started menstruating again. and by menstruating I mean a real cycle not what happens after you have a baby that you bleed for six to eight weeks straight.

    Each woman is different I don't think men get it.
    You're just going to have to have him read up on some baby books and post pregnancy books.

    A good one to read up on is "What to Expect the First Year." It is the follow-up to What to Expect When You're expecting.

    Good luck. You Are Not Alone many women go through this.

    • Thank you for the mho 😊!

  • I’d say it has something to do with hormones being crazy. But mostly I’d say it has more to do with your brain. Not you personally, but with the all the things you’re thinking about in both your conscious mind and subconscious mind. Stress and anxiety affect libido. So you may want to try destressing and trying to live in the moment.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 5

  • Well, we never really stopped having sex during or after delivery. I was on board with that program as well.

  • they say 6 weeks

    • my dr said the same thing.. i hit 6 weeks last week and have no desire for it... Do you or anyone you know have any personal experience with it? That is kinda what I was asking the question for...

    • oh sorry just passing on what i had heard. i'm not close to that age yet for babies

    • you are good... im just dealing with frustration on my part, and postpartum depression... need to hear from other peeps coz I am feeling isolated at home coz of Covid and stuff... Thanks...

  • After my first I waited 2 weeks and after the second I waited 4 weeks. I breastfed both my babies and it never killed my sex drive. But I did get my period back very fast after giving birth so I think it kicked all my hormones back into place. I've heard some women dont get their period while breastfeeding so that could be a problem with making someone have no sex drive. Everyone is different with that sort of thing. Just do it whenever your ready

    • By the way you do not have to wait 6 weeks. That is a old school thing some doctors still aren't caught up on. Sex can be had whenever the women feels healed. There is no special wait limit

  • Absolutely not before 4 weeks after giving birth. I’m not 100% back until 3 months. Yes, I have breastfed my babies, each until they are 1. Yet each time I have gotten pregnant again before the year is up.

  • It’s because you’re breastfeeding. It kills you libido. My youngest is 2 I’m still breastfeeding and I have zero interest in sex 😂

    • How do you deal with it with your man? I am afraid he is gonna cheat on me to get the sexual relief he needs and wants. What do I do?

    • I tell him to fuck off honestly. if he can’t respect that you don’t want to have sex because you just had a baby he isn’t worth it in my opinion.

    • he respects my decision/needs... I meant for you for 2 years, do you have sex with your man to keep him happy, even if you are not into it 100%? I have only faked an O 2 times in my life with him... i felt guilty over it both times, but he never knew. Men are simple creatures, he does love me, I love him, but even my obgyn told me it will take time... and he gets that... I just was curious what you have done for 2 years with little to no interest in sex?

    • Show All

  • Hey there girl, for me it was after I stopped bleeding to put it bluntly. But it was a couple of actual months b4 I did.

  • It’s possible you may have postpartum depression (that can lead to loss of interest in sex), or it may be just a hormonal issue, but I’m not a doctor. You should talk to your doctor right away. Tell her what you just told us and maybe she can help, or at least reassure you that this is normal for a while. This is a question for a qualified medical expert.

    • thanks... I have a well baby check up on Thursday.. my obgyn is in the same office. I will talk to her then...

    • Awesome 😊. Good luck. Keep me posted if you want.

  • That's normal. It's evolution. Would be hard to have enough nutrients to grow a child in you while breastfeeding so that is nature's way of stopping it.

  • Baby in, sex out... just the way it is. Your body just went through hell, it doesn't want to do that again... maybe at some point but not now.

    • congratulations, does that mean you are expecting again?

  • You can always swallow or give the guy a handy.

  • 6 weeks is not a long time at all! Was he present for the birth? Did he not see what happened to you? 😳 That being said, I think my lady and I took probably 3 months off, which is also reported as a relatively short time. Is he receptive to other intimacy options instead?

  • No idea I don't have any babies

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