Guys, do you get jealous/protective over your female friends?

My serving shift ended and I wanted to have a couple drinks at the bar, so I go sit in between my regulars, Mike (26) & Dakota (22), and buy us a round of shots and my drink. I bartend normally, and the bar was busy, so I was happy to take the easy serving shift since I have to work all weekend. So I get the round, stay off my feet for a minute, then I go to talk to my other male friends/regulars, Milo & Troy, since I work in a predominantly male bar. I look back over and see Mike looking at me, and he looks upset. I just smile at him and go back to talking to my friends. I look over again not too long later and the smile that Mike normally wears isn't there and his eyes are narrowed as he goes from looking at Dakota and then to me as he talks.
Later Mike's trying to leave to get me a half and I'm getting another drink, so I stand next to him with a chair between us, and he still looks upset, so I tell him so and I go up behind him and give him a hug, which put a big smile on his face.
I brought it up to Dakota's lady later and Dakota was the one to answer saying "Well, I'm going to tell you, he REALLY appreciates your friendship" and I'm over here like wtf. I talk to everyone, I fucking work there. Mike & I did have sex once, but I don't think that should mean anything, sometimes sex is just sex, and we both agreed to keep the incident to ourselves.
I'm not understanding why the fuck he was looking at me like he was upset. I'm not understanding why he was cold towards me from the time I went over to talk to my other regulars to when I hugged him. I like Mike, he's a good guy, but man...
Any bright ideas? Cause I'm at a loss.
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Superb Opinion

  • Man, us guys hey?

    I have heard it said that women can't have guy friends, unless she is happy for them to hit on her eventually...

    Men and women are different as you know. And we view women with more sexual elements than you do with us. That plays into the primal roles of women being the selectors, while men are the chasers.

    So if a guy gets close to a girl with friendship, the background attraction he may have, gets enhanced with closeness.

    I have a very close female friend. I am also married, but I have been pals with my female mate for much longer than I have been with my wife. And I have never hit on my gal pal. She told my wife after we got married that I am the only guy friend she had had that hasn't hit on her.

    My wife believes it's because of my higher intelligence level. I am able to rationalise my emotions/feelings/attractions better.

    Sounds like he maybe falling for you on some level. And is struggling to figure out what he wants. Or he could have figured it out, which won't be great news if you view him as a mate only.

    Good luck!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow! That's puzzling. Is it possible that Mike is gay and jealous? Or maybe he's just way more into you that you, and maybe he, realizes? Best idea, IHMO? Take him outside and talk about it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Not if I don't care about them, but he fucked you, so he has a claim on you, and he don't find you unattractive, so it make sense for him to be upset, guys are more territorial than girls.

    • I don't understand why he would be territorial though. It was one night and we had been drinking all day when we fucked. If I was his lady, I would get it, but I'm not. I've never had a guy act like this...

    • He put his mark on you, even if officially your are not his lady, that's why he territorial about you.

  • I could see myself doing that 🤔
    I mean just look at the tv show the new girl or two guys and a girl...
    I would be dumbfounded if there was not a dynamic in the shows about that

    Guys, do you get jealous/protective over your female friends?Guys, do you get jealous/protective over your female friends?
    • Either he has a stronger interest in you than friendship or he is just lonely and feeling left out... But either way there is a mature way to handle things and an immature way. There should be a knowledge that you are tending bar with others but i guess I could understand that if you are laughing or enjoying the other group that the other group feels left out... Maybe combine the two groups 🤔

  • Yeah i do. And they are protective of me.

  • As a matter of fact, yes I do

  • NO such thing as "female friends"

  • So where do I come in