Sexual Relationships
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How do I know if it was rape?

I was thirteen when it happened. The "perpetrator" was sixteen or seventeen I think. It was Christmas Eve. I met him outside. I never agreed to anything because I didn't think he had such intentions. He was lying on top of me, but strangely, I didn't notice it because I checked something on my phone. Suddenly I felt something inside me, I didn’t really know what it was (I had never had sexual intercourse). Then I noticed that he's on top of me and I was starting to understand. I was surprised and confused (I only vaguely know what happened afterwards). I wanted to run away, but he didn't want to let me go (I don't think so because he wanted to keep going). After all this time I am still unsure. What do you think?
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • Tough to tell. My first girlfriend and I kinda did something similar. We were both underage back then too.
    We were making and rubbing on the outside on each other. I think they call it outercourse. She was on top and was sliding along my shaft which was bent up into horizontal position. This way, her clit was rubbing on the shaft's underside. She was trying hard not to get penetrated. In the past, 5 minutes of this would cause me cum and we would stop. This time as she moved, I flexed the penis and about 1" of me slid inside. She was shocked and stared to pull away but I grabbed her by her buttocks to prevent her. I held her there for a good 5-10 seconds before she relented and started to explore the new sensation.
    Was it rape? I don't think so. Many years later, both of us remember that day fondly. She could have decided that me forcing her to keep me inside was rape. Instead she remembers it as a very good memory of her first time. How do I know? 22 years, 2 months and 12 days ago I married her. After both of us experienced many other relationships, we somehow ended up on a date again, as adults this time. It turned out we had a lot in common as adults too.
    Life has many gray areas. They allow us to make choices of how we see it or act. These choices is what defines us. If life was all black and white then there'd be no choice, no self-determination.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If it sounds like rape then it is rape

    You could go to the police but at this point it is years old and unless you have serious evidence or he's a serious repeat offender... you'd do better for yourself and society to deal with him

    N. b. I know a guy who had something similar happen to his sister so he tracked the guy down, bundled him into a van and ripped out his teeth with some pliers and no pain relief... could have killed him but wanted him to be unable to forget just like his sister

    N. n. b. this was Bosnia after the war when the cops were heavily corrupt but the legal stature lapsed years ago hence why the guy was willing to talk to trusted people

    • That guy did his justice should of crippled him tho so he is in a wheelchair would of been better it's what i did. To some rapist.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7

  • Yup. Plus it's rape even if you wanted you were 13.

  • Sounds a lot like rape to me. I mesn even you haven't said you didn't know what he was up to until he was inside. And you said you wabted to run away but he won't let you. That's rape for sure... :/

  • yes thats rape

  • Talk to a cop or A professional psychologist about it

  • Wait, you were both naked?

    • No, I was fully dressed and so was he. I probably pulled down his pants as well as mine.

    • So you knew there was as a good chance sex would happen

    • No, strangely I did not feel him pulling down my pants.

    • Show All

  • Yes you were

  • That is rape.

  • It was tell the police

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