I don’t mind giving my boyfriend oral but I also have my boundaries, not for any lame reason but for my comfort zone. I want to feel just as comfortable doing it as he is receiving but he has this thing, where he likes to grab my head/hair and force me down on his penis and often I pull away or at least I try to get out of his grip or remove his hand away from my head as a reaction to let him know, that doesn’t work for me. I literally feel as though I’m gonna vomit when he does that. I rather control my own head movement and pace and go as deep as I know I can handle, not forcefully. He also does this thing where when he’s about to orgasm from the blow job, he forces my head down even more knowing I can’t handle it then he will get angry at the fact that I couldn’t catch it all in my mouth when he finishes off. He starts making me feel insecure about it. Telling me how I’m acting like a”Little girl” and that me acting that way turns him off and that I shouldn’t talk back so much (referring to when we sometimes have disagreements or arguments) when I don’t even know how to give oral the right way and even told me to go watch more videos so that I could learn. He was just so rude about it all because I rather not gag on him but enjoy it, at my own tempo instead, just as he enjoys receiving. It’s a way to communicate everything but he wasn’t communicating more so just making me feel bad about myself and giving me low self esteem and all I can think about now is how I’m not good enough and I can’t make him feel how he wants and believing he’s gonna cheat and I hate feeling this way just because I have a small sexual boundary.