Girlfriend won't have sex after dating nearly 4 years, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my current girlfriend for nearly 4 years now & we are yet to have sex. We have on occasion tried anal here & there but it's very rare & often doesn't last long because of her getting a little awkward. On those occasions I basically did everything while she laid back awkwardly the whole time. She's 24 & I'm 27. I'm basically her first serious boyfriend, but I've had a few past girlfriends before her so due to our experiences being different when it comes to sexual things she takes it as awkward & often tries to dance around the subject. Since she lives with her mother & I had lived in my parents small home which both allowed minimal privacy I had been understanding of it for the first year or 2, but now that I have my own place & nothing much has changed it is starting to bother me. She tries to avoid the topic hardcore whenever I try to talk about having sex & she gets awkward each time. It's starting to make me feel resentments & uncertain about future with her, which isn't good because while I love her personality at a certain point the sex & intimacy is important too. I hate to push because I'm not that kinda guy but 4 years of no sex is a long time. What should my next move be in this case? I'm planning on moving again in December when my lease is up & the thought of asking her to join me has come up but the no sex thing has me second guessing that too these days..

[RoastedToast]

You might have to just grit your teeth mate and address it to her head on mate. Wait until you're in the right moment (I'm sure you know what I mean) and ask her directly.

If your relationship is as strong as you hope it to be you can work through it and see if there's any issues she has. Maybe she's just really and I emphasize really here lol insecure about the topic of sex and doesn't want to disappoint you. If that's the case then lucky you eh. If not, then I have no idea 🤷‍♂️ sorry mate.

[Anonymous]

Tough situation. It’s highly unusual for there to be no sex in 4 years. I usually don’t last 4 weeks. Lol Anyway, you’re going to have to address it head on. Be honest with her... you love her but you need the relationship to progress so this conversation has to happen, whether it’s awkward or not. One thing that comes to mind is that she seems to have intimacy issues and avoids talking about sex completely. There may be underlying reasons for that and they might not be good (sexual abuse perhaps), so be understanding and empathetic. If there aren’t any serious issues holding her back, then her lack of interest in sex will probably not change and you’ll have to make a personal decision on the future of the relationship. Sometimes you just have to admit compatibility isn’t there. Best of luck to you.

[Zannika02]

For me if the sex is important, sounds like she has major issues surrounding sex and u guys r just not on the same page 4 a relationship

[TremorJay]

Honestly, I'd say leave her. If I was in a 4 year relationship at my age, I'd be planning a wedding. I would suggest counseling, but you're not even married so just leave. Resentment is a very dangerous emotion. I would not allow that to manifest any further

[AustinMan]

I suggest you move on unless you want to make a project of turning her into a mynx.

[8lutty]

my sis have a boyfriend for 5 years, they never had sex, at 6th year, she ditch him for another guy. she have sex this time, and now that guy is my bro in law. there is a high chance that she doesn't sure about u so that why she doesn't want to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Get married. Or dump her.

[Anonymous]

If you love her and she's the one, talk to her about how important it is to you. If not, move on.

[Anonymous]

She’s screwing someone else.

[Anonymous]

You haven't fucked her after 4 years? Jesus dude, it's time to move on.