Is it a bad thing if you cuddle and kiss your friend with benefits after sex?

Question

My friend with benefits and I have known each other for 7 years and we just started having sex last year on Valentine’s Day.
He has expressed his shock multiple times about us sleeping together because when I was 18 and he was 25 (when we first met) I was repulsed by sex. We have never dated but he has asked me out a couple of times in the past but I turned him down because I wasn’t attracted to him. I remember when we used to work together, he'd always hug me from behind and say that I was the only girl that would talk to him.
I can’t remember how sex came into our life but I think it was because we were both single and didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day so we slept together. And we continued after that. But recently, I’ve noticed that it feels normal and not strange to cuddle and kiss each other. Just last time, we didn’t have sex at all and just laid naked together holding each other and staring at each other’s face and talked for awhile.
Is this a normal thing to do with a friend with benefits?

Berethor · Accepted Answer

I would not use the word bad but I believe that it's quite usual, one of the main features of a friend with benefits relationship is that it's mostly sexual relationship, not romantic relationship, and that you should not get attached, but your relationship sounds quite romantic. The first time that you had sex with him was on a valentine’s day, and you kiss and cuddle with him, you also says that you used to be repulsed by sex, if he was the reason that you changed your mind about sex it's also quite romantic and/or special I think. You say that you wasn’t attracted to him, but you also said that you was repulsed by sex ( and by extension guys?) in general. Why you don't because official girlfriend, you acting are already acting more like a official couple than friends with benefits.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IfItsYouItsOkay

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OfficialCouple

Bad_Man55 · Accepted Answer

Cuddling and kissing after sex is not bad and can be normal based upon the quality of the relationship. Holding each other and talking while staring at each other is not bad but not normal friends with benefits behavior likely something more is there and feelings are being caught

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

Depends on the people involved.  I hug, kiss, and hold hands with my friends with benefits all the time. Some people just have sex and don't let others spend the night.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It seems like the two of you are developing feelings for each other. Think about how you feel for him. That could clarify it a bit.

Red_Arrow · Answer

People have different ideas about “rules” for friends with benefits. For instance, many will tell you that having those feelings is bad for a friend with benefits. I do not know what you want your life to become, but apparently you have never had sex with another guy, and things with this guy are pretty involved. Consider that you may have a guy you love and not just a friend with benefits.
Regardless of what it is, if both of you are into it, then who cares about what it is and if there are rules. Just keep on enjoying!

GingerGuy · Answer

I did with mine all the time. You just have to be aware of your feelings if they start to develop and talk about them right away with him if they do. Hopefully in your case being you've known him so long, there's actual friendship there (often there isn't any at all), not to mention respect. This makes all the difference. But there are no "rules" except for the ones you two create for each other. You guys decide what works for you. Communication and respect are absolutely essential though!

Massageman · Answer

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Cuddling is nice, And you must be too. Enjoy!

mich15smith · Answer

Normal is irrelevant if you and the other person both feel comfortable and are willing to communicate your feeling then it doesn't matter you are two consenting adults.

AmeerX · Answer

I think you have achieved control over lust. It seems like love and affection. Would you two be together and marry each other?

FriendlyEnigma · Answer

Maybe y'all are catching sum feelings?

asshole_ · Answer

friends with benefits is for pathetic losers

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

I don't think it's bad but it's not something I would do

jizzyjay · Answer

Regardless of feelings, its fine to be intimate with someone u are saying sex with...

anewme · Answer

No... add me to benefit lol

Anonymous · Answer

1. When you have sex with a person you can easily get transplanted on them. 2. Or, you'll are falling in love (good sex can also make people fall in love!)