Can a boy be sexually abused by a girl younger than him? Am I a monster?

Question

Seeing how the internet is in a storm about Netflix's Cuties and bringing up pedophilia, this urged me to share my story.
When I was 12 and was going through puberty I lived next to a 7-year-old girl who would always come over and play with my nephew who was also 7. But this little girl was fucked up and I don't know where she learned this from. She would take her clothes off in front of me, show me her privates, show me her butt, talk really sexual to me, put her butt in my face, try to sit on my lap etc.
These were my first ever encounters with anything sexual and I was having new feelings and started having disturbing fantasies.
These fantasies stuck with me years later and I became a pedo and I hate myself because of it. I couldn't control these fantasies, and I felt guilty for having them.
I've never harmed a child in my life, I'm 22 and I'm a virgin, living with mom, I refuse to move out or get a job and I lock myself in my room, even when the nephews and nieces come over and beg me to play I lock myself up because I'm afraid of what I might do. No need to lock me up, I did it myself.
I'm afraid and embarrassed to talk about this. Nobody believes a boy can be molested by a girl and nobody believes you can be molested by someone younger. How do I tell people that my entire sexuality was fucked up by a little girl? I feel like the entire world would just shun me or lock me in a cage.
Now I'm seeing the MAP community trying to make child sexualization normalized and it sickens me. I'm against everything they stand for. I honestly think the age of consent should be 18 and I get uncomfortable by even high schoolers having sex.
I can't help but think of other men out there who are also struggling with their sexuality the same way and they're afraid and embarrassed to get help because of the way the world portrays pedophilia. It's a mental illness and not all of us are proud of it.

startingfitness · Accepted Answer

you were too young to understand this but that minor was definitely sexually abused or going through it at the time. That's why she acted that way, but i can't blame you for not informing someone as you were too young to understand this. I even know adults who are too simpleminded to understand why a kid would act like this.

As for you, like you said , its a mental illness but i'm sure it can be cured. You need therapy for it. probably a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist.
also, this is a very unpopular opinion/truth, but it is true that, at least with men, sex really is a habit. you think you are a p*do because of this experience. Most p*dos were abused themselves. there are guys who say they are/were straight but do gay stuff when they are in the military or prison etc. it really is about a habit. with some right therapy and engaging with adult women, you will be looking back at this as a stupid mental state of the past.

Mynameisbobby · Accepted Answer

I think you are doing more harm to yourself than you need too. There are people out there that still believe that boys can't be raped by girls. You are hurting yourself for your thoughts onlyl, you even said yourself that you never harmed a child. I think you need to get into therapy. At least you know that you have a problem a lot of people out there think that thinking of children in a sexual way is OK but you realize that it's not. So please get into therapy and stop punishing yourself for nothing you did. I will say I was abused by my sister and blamed myself for years I got into therapy and doing much better. I realize now it wasn't my fault what she did to me. Do yourself a favor and get help. Good luck!!

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Before your post is taken down for tackling this sensitive topic, which is totally taboo here on G@G, let me just say that your only option is to seek help from a specialist.

You will only harm yourself more by remaining passive and what will happen is that you may become something like a SJW that might become violent towards people that have liberal ideas about this topic.

There are psychologists that can help you overcome this problem but you need to want to get help. Good luck.

Avicenna · Answer

I think you need an expert opinion on this, not those of laypeople.

josephinelcajon · Answer

It is possible. Lots of people do not even realize a girl can rape a guy. Age really is irrelevant its much more mental and physical. For sure she was a victim herself and my have abused your nephew. I would contact an expert ASAP! Do not feel comfortable with them or their answer change to another. THIS IS YOUR LIFE TAKE IT BACK NOW!