I mean that like i don't really understand what turns me on. I can't turn myself on and whenever i try i just give up after about 2 minutes because i feel stupid. Its embarrassing, i wish i could be this person that oozes confidence but im scared of my own shadow 😂
Then, in my opinion, it sounds like you need a man who is confident and patient, and you need to tell him this, so that he can spend some time getting you turned on. In my obviously limited experience, if you can break through a girl's walls and release her sexuality, it's like a dam breaking, and she goes wild. But a lot of it is that she needs trust and an emotional connection with the man. You really need to look for a man who has feelings for you, who is confident, and who is patient. And don't be so hard on yourself.
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So a lack of the above makes them bad in bed?
I suppose that depends how you quantify the term good. If you eliminate those four terms from the definition what else is left?