How to stop feeling ashamed of being a virgin?

Question

I'm a virgin in my 20s. Why? I was chubby for the past 7 years and that affected my self confidence so I never looked for a relationship/sex (I've since lost weight and feel more confident in myself). I can't stop but feel like my peers and friends see me in this "aww she's so innocent and pure" or a "she's a pathetic loser what is she waiting for" kind of way. I'm not scared of sex nor am I waiting for marriage, I've simply never had the opportunity and I don't want to just hookup with a stranger. I don't want to go out and get rid of my virginity for the sake of getting rid of it. My virginity isn't the problem here. I just wish I didn't feel so embarrassed and scared of being judged about it.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

As a virgin myself, you ARE better off waiting for marriage to have sex. You already feel that way because again you think that it's a necessary thing that you have to do in your life. But it's not. It's not necessary for you to have sex. If your friends actually do think that way, then why have them as friends? Seriously ask yourself that question. Why have them as friends? You losing weight have nothing to do about how you feel about yourself. What you're saying is that you didn't and still don't have much love for yourself. It doesn't matter if you're skinny or fat, or in between. It's a decision to have sex and it's a decision to not have sex. It's a decision to fornicate which is sexual sin outside of what God had intended for sex to be. And a decision to not do that. It's good to be innocent and pure. There's nothing shameful about being innocent and pure. Everybody is supposed to be innocent and pure. But when you have sex outside of marriage then you're not innocent and you're not in sexual purity. You still maintain that Purity even when you're married. But it's in the purity of a consummated marriage. You only think the marriage bed when you choose to pollute it. And that's by having ungodly sexual practices and desires.

So the only way to stop feeling ashamed about being a virgin it's really ask yourself again why are you so ashamed of being one? What is shameful about it? There's nothing shameful about it. So don't shame yourself for being a virgin. Being one is who you are. So if you're ashamed to be a virgin than you are ashamed of being yourself. Virginity is not a separate thing. It's who you are and is what makes you up as a person. So start loving yourself, and stay away from bad influences.

Breanna_nonbinary · Accepted Answer

Guess what? It’s easy. Just don’t feel embarrassed. You have control over your own feelings. You choose to feel embarrassed. You choose to feel mad or upset etc. we learned to  react  to things with feelings. We do it without thinking. Road rage is reacting to something and not thinking. As humans we can choose to  react  to things or we can choose to think first and not feel the way we have always been taught to react. But you have to stop reacting when things happen, you have to stop and think. Think about how you want to feel not about how you think you should feel.

SjE78 · Accepted Answer

nothing about being a virgin should make you feel ashamed... in fact you shouldn't feel that way... look at it this way...
while all your fiends go out and lose theirs then regret it years down the line cos they did so with someone they then can't stand, and you're there finding someone who you're in love with and have grown to appreciate... and lose it without being pressured...

you can sit back and truly say you lost your's on your own terms with someone who is there for you not someone who was there just for the experience of deflowering a virgin.

DSimus · Accepted Answer

Never feel embarrassed about that and never feel ashamed. Allowing someone to take your virginity is something to be EARNED. If no one has earned it then you're stronger than your peers and friends who gave it up in the backseat of ratty Honda Civic to the first guy in High School to compliment them.

Sexual empowerment goes both ways. Withholding it for the right person is way more empowering than embracing sleeping around.

Once you can accept that virginity isn't a stigma, then you'll come around.

perfectchaos · Answer

I know it's hard but don't worry about it. Worry about setting up your future and finding a good S. O.

Hawner · Answer

Virginity is nothing to be ashamed about. We all were at the beginning! When you lose your V card is not important, but how and with whom. So, stop worrying. The day will come and you will enjoy.

summiter · Answer

You have nothing at all to be ashamed of. We all operate on different time schedules with sex. We all have different values also! The right guy will enter your life when you least suspect it. Good job taking care of yourself and loosing weight.

Berethor · Answer

You you likely be judged, but many guys would actually consider you being more valuable.

hornyafbi69 · Answer

Simple sex isn't just a activity or something that you do because you want to "fit" in that exact mindset is why there are far to many single mothers. Think of sex as more than a fuck. There's a reason most guys actually are big fans of "players" and a reason women would call a girl who slept around as a "slut" the fact that it was "offensive" Wich yeah it was supposed to be and we're not pc using those anymore has caused an over abundance of players and sluts

SlothySlob · Answer

You gotta be more like me, the less of a fuck you give, the less you'll stress over it.

Nephilim000 · Answer

There is nothing to be ashamed of. Quit frankly it's no ones business. And you are much more respectable than those who just go and give it up

chriscdi · Answer

dont worry about it, people judge with not just this but everything, if you let judgement get in the way, youd never be happy, let people judge, you live the way you wanna live

PrinceNeo · Answer

Just accepted for what it is you're a virgin it's not that big a deal and don't let others make you feel like it's anything to be ashamed of there's nothing wrong with having your vCard to be honest it's a lot smarter than just giving into peer pressure and hopping on the first Dick that flops besides only people that don't give a f*** about themselves just jump into water before testing it best thing I could say though is if you are trying to get into it I would suggest doing the usual slow s*** and finding someone you can get handsy with and then get mouthy with and then from there well it's pretty straightforward but until you find someone you could do that s*** with just don't stress it and keep in your mind the words of a wise man "f*** people's opinions".

Twalli · Answer

My girlfriend was a virgin until 33 and she was never overweight or particularly ugly. At least from the pictures I have seen

iFarted · Answer

That's nothing to be ashamed of nor do I think it's something to be proud of, it's just what it is. Keep yourself busy with life, hopefully with things that'll be productive so you won't think about it.

Valnac · Answer

First of all, congrats on changing what you can. You did it, be proud. If your friends can’t handle it they are probably jealous. Maybe it’s time to find new friends.